Meet the Patels Page #6

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I don't do that.

You guys think I do that, but you just...

you're so desperate for me to like someone

that you don't trust

when I make my own choices

and I give everyone a fair chance.

To like somebody, you've

got to get to know somebody.

I'm saying at least talk to the person.

Why do you love Mom and Dad?

Because you've been with

them for all these years.

So if you...

- Take a little interest...

- Okay.

...and you know what will happen,

if nothing, let's say you do not like,

you may say that, "Oh, my

friend might be right for her."

- Ah.

- Introduce to a friend.

This is the most unnecessary pep speech

I've ever gotten in my life.

Yeah. Okay, let's go.

Geeta, are we done, my dear?

Yeah I did.

I don't like her.

What do you mean how do

you know, you just know.

I don't like her.

So, put your camera away.

Was that Mom?

I told Mom and Dad, I'm

like, "Hey, she's great,

"like, she's a really great person, but,

"I'm not really into her."

Mmm-hmm.

You know, in that way.

By no fault of her own, I'm just...

Yeah.

You know and, uh...

they're like, "Well,

just, just talk to her."

And I'm like, okay, but,

I mean, I'll talk to her,

But, like, it's just weird.

Mmm-hmm.

Like, I'm supposed to

call her now on Friday

and it's just like, ugh.

- I am so afraid of hurting other people's feelings.

- Me too!

Like, I feel really bad, like,

she's like a great girl,

and I don't want her to

think that I'm rejecting her.

Because that's not really what it is.

Yeah. You guys have it harder

because you have to

actually approach the women.

Or, you know, culturally, that's...

It's easy for women, women just have to be.

You just have to be. And...

Then... ugh.

You know what? I realized it's not easy,

because I thought we just had to be,

but I think that's why I'm single

because I didn't know this

whole eye contact thing,

like, you have to actually

- allow someone...

- What's the eye contact thing?

Well, I don't really...

I never did eye contact

growing up, like you have...

We have to give you guys a signal that,

"Yeah, we're interested."

Or like, "Yeah, I at least

acknowledge that you exist."

If a girl's looking around,

you have to look right at her,

which is really scary.

Well, what's the difference

between that and staring?

'Cause I know how to stare.

I'm excited because

Ravi promised me five grandkids.

You appear to be not promising,

but sort of leaning towards three.

Which makes it a potential eight.

Ravi gave me, one five-year time period.

Guaranteed, almost.

You are noncommittal.

But I assume same time period.

Hey, listen.

It's been easy sailing until now.

Life is a commitment.

- So you have to make some commitments.

- Mmm.

Hello.

Hello.

- What's up?

- Someone didn't come home last night.

Yeah.

You're an idiot.

What?

What?

Were you at Audrey's?

We didn't do nothing, we just fell asleep.

Well, she cooked me, we like, made dinner,

then we watched a movie and fell asleep.

Okay.

So.

So are you going to get

back together with her?

Audrey and I met

when we both worked in the same bar,

and we had been friends

for a few years.

But all of a sudden, we

started hanging out a lot,

and then one night she

came over to watch a movie,

and that was when things, you know,

started to get a little weird.

You know, towards, as the movie went on,

we'd slowly kinda cuddle a little bit

but in very non-committal

cuddling, so our toes,

like I think our feet started

getting closer together

and then next thing you know, our legs...

I was so nervous that I was like,

I remember I was stuttering a lot, "Um...

"Do, do you think we should,

um, like we should uh, like,

"this is, like, this is weird right?"

And she was looking at me

and then she just goes...

And of course, to me, the

bury-the-head-in-the-pillow

was like a bad sign

because that's the only way

I'm willing to interpret

any situation with a girl,

is like rejection.

She was really nervous too.

I was like, should we start

dating or something, or...

And she was like, "Yeah, I guess,"

and then I walked her to her car,

and I'm saying bye, and

like, this is the first time

it's been this kind of a bye.

I was like, "Well, should we kiss?"

She goes like, "Yeah, I guess,"

and then we go in and it's like a kiss,

and it is the worst kiss

in the history of kisses.

Like it was disgusting, you know,

because it was so forced and uncomfortable

and we were friends.

Any man would have handled

that better than me, I think.

And so there was a lot

of just self-loathing.

- Right.

- And at the same time,

I don't remember ever feeling

that level of exhilaration

in terms of happiness and just excitement

that this was happening.

Even though you had a bad kiss too?

But the second one was incredible.

My sister has her

son living with her

and she has three kids, grandkids,

and I don't know how to tell you,

it's very rewarding, peaceful,

I tell you they are just simply,

I call them they are happy,

happy, happy family, you know.

But what can I say, America is different.

And that's the only thing

I regret about myself

that I wish I didn't come that early

because my kids would have

been maybe somewhat different,

and I could have had a similar

life to what my family has.

Family-wise, staying

together and all that.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah,

because they came later on in the life,

so their beliefs are different.

When I came to United States,

there were not Indians,

so you know, we had to compromise the life

and we did, and uh,

and when you compromise, you

pay the price for it, you know.

And that is the price we are paying for it

right now, I think.

We're happy, though!

- We're happy.

- And we are gonna be happy,

we are gonna be just as happy as them.

We are happy. We are different,

but we are happy, yeah.

Hey, Ma.

Yeah, there's serious

interest, send it to me.

Okay.

Ma, ah...

Mom, Mom, do you guys remember

the conversation we had

about you guys sending me girls

that are, that are American?

Okay, okay, okay.

She's from India, she's

overweight, and she's an engineer?

- Yeah.

- That's not the best pitch.

If the bio-data thing doesn't work,

if the Internet dating doesn't work,

if you're still not able

to meet her at a wedding,

or say a motel owners expo,

there's still one last shot

at meeting the perfect Patel girl.

The Patel convention.

People get together for two or three days

and purpose was to bring

their boy and a girl,

children together,

and they have programs

and dance and speeches

and all that, basically

to see if you can find...

Just like a business expo.

We have a sheet and you're going

to go to people of the opposite sex

and you're gonna go introduce yourself

- and go see if they can fill out a box.

- Okay.

There's already one marriage out of it,

somebody that met last

year is already married

and there's another

couple that's almost there.

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