Megamind Page #2

You are. Yes, you are. No biting.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

You want the wrench?

Go get the wrench.

- Oh, Iook at that.

- Now, back to Iaughing.

She's awake. Quick, to work.

Miss Ritchi, we meet again.

Would it kill you to wash the bag?

You can scream all you wish,

Miss Ritchi.

I'm afraid no one can hear you.

Wh... Why isn't she screaming?

Miss Ritchi, if you don't mind?

Like this...

But that's, that's a poor Iady scream.

He's a Iittle better.

Is there some kind

of nerdy super-villain Web site

where you get Tesla coils

and blinky dials?

Actually, most of it comes

from an outlet store in...

Don't answer that.

- Romania.

- Don't! Stop!

She's using her

nosy reporter skills

on your weak-willed mind

to find out all our secrets.

Such tricks won't work on me...

- Please talk slower.

- ...temptress.

What secrets?

You're so predictable.

Predictable? Predictable?

Oh, you call this predictable?

Your alligators. Yes.

Yeah, I was thinking about it

on the way over.

What's this? Boom! In your face.

- Clich.

- No! Look, watch.

- Juvenile.

- Shock and awe.

- Tacky.

- Oh, it's so scary!

- Seen it.

- What's this one do?

Garish.

- OK, the spider's new.

- Spider?

Yes. The... The spee-ider.

Even the smallest bite

from Arachnis deathicus

will instantly paralyze...

Get it off! It bit me!

Give it up, Megamind.

Your plans never work.

Let's stop wasting time and call

your boyfriend in tights, shall we?

It is with great pleasure that

I present to Metro Man his new museum.

If you please.

- Metro Man!

- Hey! My kid can't see.

- Megamind!

- Oh, bravo, Metro Man.

Boo!

Yes, I can play along too. Boo!

Should've known

you'd try to crash the party.

Oh, I intend to do more than crash it.

This is a day you and Metrocity

shall not soon forget.

It's pronounced Metro City!

Potato-tomato, potato-tomato.

We all know how this ends:

with you behind bars.

I'm shaking in my custom

baby seal leather boots.

You will leave Metrocity,

or this will be the last

you ever hear

of Roxanne Ritchi.

Roxanne! Don't panic, Roxie.

- I'm on my way.

- Yeah, I'm not panicking.

In order to stop me,

you need to find me first, Metro Man.

We're at the abandoned observatory.

No, we're not!

Don't listen to her. She's crazy.

Metro Man approaching, sir.

Hold on a second.

Oh, good heavens!

You didn't think you

were in the real observatory, did you?

Ready the death ray, Minion.

Death ray, readying.

Over here, old friend.

In case you haven't noticed,

you've fallen right into my trap.

You can't trap justice.

It's an idea, a belief.

Even the most heartfelt belief

can be corroded over time.

Justice is a non-corrosive metal.

But metals can be melted

by the heat of revange.

It's "revenge,"

and it's best served cold.

But it can be easily reheated

in the microwave of evil.

Well, I think your warranty is

about to expire.

Maybe I got an extended warranty.

Warranties are invalid if you don't use

the product for its intended purpose.

Oh, girls, girls, you're both pretty.

Can I go home now?

Of course. That is,

if Metro Man can withstand the full,

concentrated power of the sun!

Fire!

Minion. Fire?

- It's still warming up, sir.

- Come again?

- Warming up, sir.

- Warming up? The sun is warming up?

One second more and...

...just tippy-tappy tippy-tap-tap,

tip-top more,

- and we are ready in just...

- Honestly!

On my way, Roxie.

I told you to have things ready.

I told you countless times.

Why do you always blame me?

My spider bite is acting up.

Your plan is failing. Just admit it.

Yeah, good Iuck with that one.

Whose side are you on?

- The Iosing side.

- Thank you.

Could someone stamp

my Frequent Kidnapping Card?

You of all people know

we discontinued that promotion.

- Ciao-ciao, all!

- Same time next week?

Dag! Crab nuggets!

- What did he just say?

- "Crab nuggets"?

Fackled fish cracker!

Ten seconds to full power.

- Good Iord, I'm trapped.

- Ten...

- What kind of trickery is this?

- ...nine...

- You mad genius.

- ...eight...

- Your dark gift has finally paid off.

- ...seven...

- It... It has?

- ...six...

This dome is

obviously Iined with copper.

- Yeah? So?

- Sir...

- Copper drains my powers.

- ...two...

- Your weakness is copper?

- ...one.

- You're kidding, right?

- Full power.

I don't think

even he could survive that.

Well, Iet's not get

our hopes up just yet.

- Look!

- Metro Man!

Metro Man.

Metro Man!

- You... You did it, sir.

- I did it?

He did it.

- I did it?

- He did it.

- You did it, sir.

- I did it!

- You did it!

- I did it! Metrocity is mine!

- You did it, sir!

- I did it! Yeah, me, me!

- Yes, I did it!

- Us! We both did it!

- Not us! I!

- You, a Iittle more

- than me but still, come on!

- A Iot more than you.

When they're giving out the awards,

- I'm gonna be right there next to you.

- What awards? What awards, for what?

Hit it!

Drop 'em!

First off, what a turnout.

How wild is this?

AII I did was eliminate the most

powerful man in the universe.

Are there any questions?

Go on. Yes! You in the back.

I'm sure we'd all Iike to know what

you plan to do with us and this city.

Good, I'm glad you asked that.

Imagine the most horrible, terrifying,

evil thing you can possibly think of,

and multiply it... by six!

In the meantime,

I want you to carry on

with the dreary, normal things

you normal people do.

Let's just have fun with this. Come on.

And I will get back to you.

Now slam the door really hard.

They... They can still see you.

- Now?

- Your elbow's still in.

Good.

There he is, Mr. Evil Overlord

Oh, Minion, did you think

this day would ever come?

No way. Not at all, sir.

Never. Never in a million...

I mean...

- Yes, I did.

- Look at the intricate mouldings.

I'm Iooking. I'm Iooking.

And what's this?

It's Iike one of the giant monitors

in the Iair.

But it seems to only carry one station.

Oh, that, sir, is called a window.

- Window?

- AII the kids are Iooking through them.

I've never had a view before.

Metrocity, Minion, it's all mine.

If my parents could see me now.

Sir, I'm sure they're smiling down

from evil heaven.

And now that Mr. Goody Two-Shoes is

out of the way,

I can have everything I want,

and there's no one to stop me!

I know. I know.

Always thirsty, never satisfied.

I understand you,

Iittle well-dressed bird.

Purposeless, emptiness.

It's a vacuum, isn't it?

It's... What's your vacuum Iike?

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Not now, Minion.

I'm in a heated,

existential discussion

with this dead-eyed, plastic desk toy.

Is... Is something wrong, sir?

Just think about it.

We have it all.

Yet, we have nothing.

It's just too easy now.

I'm sorry, you've Iost me, sir.

I mean, we did it, right?

Well, you did it, sir.

Yes, you've made that perfectly clear.

Then why do I feel so... mel-on-choly.

"Mel-on-choly"?

- Unhappy.

- Well...

What if tomorrow,

we could go kidnap Roxanne Ritchi.

Rate this script:4.5 / 13 votes