Melvin and Howard Page #6

- I'll be back.

- You always have to leave.

Let's face it. It's gonna be a while

before we see any dough.

We gotta capitalise while we're hot.

They want you on Merv Griffin.

But the best dollar offer so far

comes from a t-shirt manufacturer.

Let me tell you, this'll wipe you out.

What do you think?

It's kinda cute, isn't it?

Think about it.

- Main thing's the press conference.

- What?

Press conference tomorrow.

[Car horns blare]

[Fred] Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr Melvin Dummar,

his wife and children,

his attorney Dwayne Edwards.

I don't want any litigation questions,

only on the basis of the will.

Understand? No litigation questions.

First question.

[Man] Hughes' company, Summa,

claims this will is a forgery.

What did I just tell you?

I'll have you thrown out.

[Fred] Leave the premises.

No litigation questions.

[Man] Was the man

you picked up Howard Hughes?

Well, he said he was Howard Hughes.

He looked like an old bum.

- [Man]... Hughes would look?

- Neat, healthy.

This guy was sick.

His hands were all wrinkled up...

[man] Did you think

a dream like this could come true?

Well, when you dream

about something it's no problem, but...

[man] Everybody thinks you're lying.

How does that make you feel?

[Confused babble of voices]

[Melvin] He was hurt.

Maybe he thinks I saved his life.

No, I did not.

I did not forge that will.

I didn't write the will,

I don't know anything about the will.

Uh... I'm really pleased

he's going to inherit that $156 million,

is that right?

I hope that when he gets the dough

he remembers that

he owes the Rockwood Dairy $4,500.

[Man] What kind of a guy

was Melvin to work with?

[Jim] He was a fine man... uh...

A good worker. Matter of fact,

he was Milkman of the Month.

- Two bucks.

- You remember me, Melvin?

- Huh?

- I was with you. We were all together.

You, me and Howard.

But it was me

that gave him that quarter.

- Oh, you're the one!

- That's right.

[Gunshot]

[Screams]

Melvin!

Hold him!

Oh, man... Call the police, Bonnie.

[Gunman] You're a liar!

You never saw Howard Hughes.

You never saw him,

never met him in his life.

You never saw him, Dummar!

Who the hell are you? You're nobody.

You hear me?

- You're nobody either, lady.

- Get him outta here!

- Go on!

- [Gunman] You don't deserve it!

Weirdo!

[Phone rings]

- Hello?

- [Melvin] Lynda?

- Melvin, is that you?

- Yeah, it's me.

- Are you all right?

- Sure, I'm all right.

How are you doing?

How's Farron? How's Darcy?

Oh, wow, Melvin. She is so proud.

Yeah? Hey, that's all right. Listen...

She's not having any trouble

at school because of this, is she?

No, no, don't worry about it.

Melvin...

- Howard Hughes, huh?

- What do you think about that?

- [Lynda] I think it's amazing.

- Listen, I gotta go.

- Say hi to the kids.

- Goodbye, Melvin.

Goodbye, Lynda.

[Man] Why did you deliver

the will to the church?

- What were you scared of?

- [Melvin] What might be inside.

Why was that frightening?

I don't know.

Can you give me one reason on earth

why this strange man would leave

that will with you, Melvin Dummar?

Well, I don't know. I've been

trying to figure that out myself.

[Laughter]

- [Lawyer] Did you find an answer?

- No, I didn't.

Isn't it true you can't find an answer

because it never happened that way?

Please, stand up. Face the judge.

Place your hand on the bible.

Raise your right hand.

Do you swear in the name of God

that this story about

how you received this will is true?

I do.

Well, Melvin, if it meant...

...eternal damnation in hell, would

you still say it happened that way?

It's the truth.

Of course I would say that.

[Courtroom murmurs]

Melvin, turn your chair around

and face me, please.

Yes, sir.

- Melvin, are you lying?

- No, sir.

I want you to know that...

...there is a still, small voice

that many people are blessed with,

that tells them

when the truth is being spoken.

It's been said,

"What doth it profit a man

if he gain the whole world

yet lose his soul?"

Now, if you're lying, Melvin,

which you are in my opinion,

your soul may be in jeopardy but that's

not really what I'm concerned with now.

I'm concerned with your hide.

Because if I find that

you're lying before this court,

I'll make it a special duty

to have a piece of your hide.

I'll direct the District Attorney to

bring a criminal case against you.

And I'll make it my special project

that if you're convicted,

I will recommend

that you do time in prison.

And I want you to know

Nevada State Prison's no country club,

like Gabbs local jail

or wherever it was you served time.

If you're lying, you go straight

to Nevada State Prison.

All right, Melvin?

You bet.

Your Honour.

[Sighs]

Brother Dummar...

I want the truth.

Where did this so-called will come from?

It... uh... Some man brought it

by the station where I was working.

He left it there.

Are you gonna persist in giving the

answers elicited from you this morning?

Yes, sir.

Do you know who wrote the will?

No, I don't

Did you in any way participate

in the preparation of the will?

No, sir.

I've done my best, gentlemen.

[Courtroom murmurs]

Melvin, you did it. On July 6,

they determine the validity of the will.

Like he says,

it's the only will we got.

With the testimony

by handwriting experts,

the will's gonna be admitted to

probate. You'll get your inheritance.

- You think so?

- It's gonna be a long road.

But we won the first battle, I can tell.

The T-shirt people called again.

Look, they're worth an easy 15,000.

What do you say?

No, I don't think so, man.

You can use the cash.

What's the matter, you want to get paid?

No... They started paving the freeway

down from the gas station.

- In two weeks, you'll be Ionely there.

- Don't worry, I'll be all right.

- You won, Mel!

- What are you so worried about?

I just hope you don't

have any illusions.

They'll fight in every court they can,

the relatives, Summa...

Meanwhile, the government

will take out taxes, the state...

Lawyers'll take legal fees.

Money's gonna be siphoned off.

Yeah, listen, I've known that

since I first found that will.

What do you mean?

I mean, you think that Melvin Dummar

is gonna get $156 million?

Or anything like it?

Nah, I'm not gonna see that money.

That's all right.

Cos you know what happened?

Howard Hughes

sang Melvin Dummar's song.

That's what happened.

He sang it.

He was funny.

Yeah, he sang it.

Santa's Souped-Up Sleigh.

I'll see you.

[Melvin] Sorry.

That's OK.

Gave me a chance to get 'em fed.

Sure you wanna do this?

Are you kidding? See my kids,

up there in the fresh air? Oh, yeah.

Go on the back seat. I got some

comic books and a little toy for Farron.

You're not gonna hassle me when I want

them back at the end of the summer?

You got my word.

- That's what I'm afraid of.

- Aww, come on.

Bonnie sure is gonna have

her hands full this summer.

- Yeah.

- Give us a kiss.

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