Melvin and Howard Page #5

- All right, it's up to you.

- [PA] George, line 12.

- You want me to get anotherjob?

- Any place you go, you work for us.

- What about this insurance claim?

- No, talk to Bonnie.

- Did you sell that boat?

- Yeah.

- What about the Cadillac?

- They took it.

That's right, they did.

Well, I don't know.

You're gonna have to

hustle a little more.

Look, we got Ralph over here in Artesia.

He can use a little help.

It's way across the county.

The milk won't even be cold.

- Did it occur to you to get up earlier?

- Hey, I get up at 2.30.

Look, I know it's tough.

You have to organise your time better.

I've told you once,

I told you a thousand times.

Planning is the name of the game.

Just sign it.

[Hawaiian-style music]

[PA] Ladies and gentlemen,

Tiki Restaurant

wishes the employees of Rockwood Dairy

a Merry Christmas.

Or, as we say on the island...

[Merry Christmas in Hawaiian language]

Now, relax and enjoy the entertainment,

featuring The Tiki Sextet.

[Man] I told my wife you sing country,

she's crazy about country.

- Tell her I'm sorry, will you.

- Delgado said you was yellow.

I said, if Melvin don't wanna,

it's his right.

What'd he say?

Ain't what he says, it's what

he don't say, know what I mean?

All right, you Rockwood people!

Let's hear a big round of applause

for The Tiki Santa Claus Sextet.

As part of tonight's entertainment,

Melvin "Milkman of the Month" Dummar

was supposed to sing us a song

but I'm afraid - or am I thrilled? -

that he's chickened out on us.

- [All] Aww!

- I didn't chicken out...

You want a song?

All right, I got a song.

[Cheering, whistling]

Oh!

Go get 'em, Melvin.

Where's you guitar, Melvin?

Did they repossess it?

- Here, hold this for me, will you?

- Let's hear it for Melvin!

I wrote this song to Six Days

on the Road. Do you know that?

That's a Dave Dudley song.

OK.

# Well, I pulled out of Rockwood

Headed down the Santa Ana freeway

# I got my Divco wound up

And I guess it's runnin' OK

# I know it's the middle of the night

But heck, that's all right

# Cos I'm a milkman for Rockwood

And everything's OK

# Well, my truck's kinda old

And it's awful slow

# The temperature's hot

And the oil pressure is low

# If I make it through my route tonight

Everything will be all right

# Ten hours on the road

And I hope I make it home tonight

# I know Delgado

will be checkin'my books today

# There's a big milk bill

he said I'd have to pay

# That don't bother me tonight

Cos I can dodge old Jim all right

# Twelve hours on the road

I hope I make it home tonight

# Well I work like a dog

Trying to collect my pay

# All my customers say

"Can't you come back some other day?"

# Well I don't know what to say

But I'd sure like a raise in pay

# Twenty hours on the road

I just hope I make it home tonight #

Are you married, Bonnie?

No, I'm not, Melvin Dummar,

and neither are you any more.

- So what do you say?

- What do you mean?

I'll take care of you

till you get back up on your feet.

- I got my kids' child support money...

- Got a kid?

I got two kids. Now, listen, Melvin,

My cousin in Utah

lost his lease on a gas station.

We run it right,

we got a thousand a month clear.

I have been waiting for this moment

and the moment is now.

Is that net?

Don't come swingin' your dick

around my cashiers office no more.

- You're Mormon. You talk like that?

- You bet your ass.

Well...

- When do we leave?

- Tonight.

[Bell rings]

[Bonnie] Melvin, come upstairs!

Mr Rodgers is on the phone.

That's five.

Gonna get a coronary,

hurrying around like that.

It's better than starvin', ain't it?

[Bonnie] Sorry, Mr Rodgers, I went all

the way down and he just wasn't there.

[TV]... the nation's highest

compliments, a ticker-tape parade...

Yes, I understand. Yes, of course,

I'll give him the message.

OK. Yes, goodbye.

He's not gonna deliver the gas on Monday

unless he gets a cheque.

Well, let's give him one.

What cheque?

If he won't give us gas,

we'll give him a cheque.

Yeah, but our cheque's no good.

Yeah, I know, but it's Easter weekend.

I might be able to pump about 1,000

gallons and by Monday it'll be good.

What's that? Howard Hughes died?

Remember I told you

I picked that guy up in the desert?

He told me he was Howard Hughes.

[TV]... tests of his huge

Boeing Strat-o-liner.

- Didn't look like that, though.

- When are we gonna eat? I'm starvin'.

[Child] Yeah, when are we gonna eat?

[TV]... admitted to the test area

to act as a fire boat...

- [Melvin] What are we having, anyway?

- [Bonnie] Bell peppers.

[TV]... nose off the water with ease, as

no-one except howard Hughes expected.

- Hello, Melvin.

- Hi, how are you doin'?

- All right.

- Can I help you?

Yeah. Some cigarettes.

- Cigarettes. What kind do you want?

- Camels.

Camels, OK. That's a man's cigarette.

Probably walk a mile for these.

Nowadays, they want long ones and

filters and... You want some matches?

- Yeah. How much are they?

- Well, the matches are free.

- The cigarettes.

- That's a buck.

- A buck?

- Wait, Camels, 50 cents.

[Car horn]

[Car horn]

To get down to Las Vegas,

how do I get out of here?

Oh, see that right there, by the lake?

Interstate 15, it'll take you to Vegas.

Talking to this guy, he said if I take

89 and 60, south and across the line...

- I'll be with you in a minute.

- I guess 15's the best bet.

Yeah.

[Bonnie] Kenny, Sherry, come on!

You gotta do your homework.

[Radio plays country music]

Kids, come on!

I'm standing here, come on, let's go.

[Customer] Let's go.

[Radio. # Sir Douglas Quintet:

She's About A Mover]

Goodnight, Melvin.

Bonnie! Bonnie!

Yeah? What?

I gotta go into town a while,

take care of everything.

- I'll be back.

- OK.

Bye.

[Phone rings]

Yes, we'll send you an invoice...

And your PO number.

That one's out of stock.

It's on re-order.

Yes... Make the cheque out

to the Church of Latter Day Saints.

Yes, the main office, Church of

Latter Day Saints, Salt Lake City, Utah.

...Church of Latter Day Saints.

Wooh! Yahoo!

[Phone rings]

- [Bonnie] Hello?

- [Man] Congratulations, Mrs Dummar.

A document believed to be Howard

Hughes' will names 16 beneficiaries.

- One of them is Mr Melvin Dummar.

- Oh, my God!

Oh...! Oh...! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh!

[Shouting, laughing]

[Screams excitedly]

[Reporter] Melvin? Where's Melvin?

Where can I get a hold of him?

- [Reporter] We need to speak to Melvin.

- He'll be back.

[Traffic cop] Melvin, move them down!

[Reporter] How did you and Melvin meet?

[Bonnie] He was Milkman of the Month.

[Sherry] At least I don't

have to sell carolers any more.

[Reporter] What is the most

amount of money you ever saw?

Quite a crowd, here.

How you doin', Pops?

- Dwayne Edwards, my favourite attorney.

- Hi, Fred.

- Where's Melvin?

- Over there.

- Melvin, how are you?

- Hey, how you doing?

Haven't seen you in a couple of years.

Gotta talk to you about some

square business, right now.

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