Men in Black 3 Page #7

due to the horsehide

being improperly tanned

because the tanner's wife

left him

for a Puerto Rican golf pro...

Um, the gift?

Oh, yes, of course.

In the box.

Uh, it's the surprise.

To protect the Earth.

It's a shield.

J:

Shield.

Archanan. Arc Net.

You put up the Arc Net.

- How?

- When that ball is pitched to

Davey Johnson,

who became a player

because his dad couldn't find a

football to give him for his birthday,

it hits

his bat two micrometers

too high,

popping out to Cleon Jones

who would've been born Clara,

a statistical

typist, if his parents didn't have

an extra glass of wine that night

before going to bed.

[CROWD CHEERING]

A miracle

is what seems impossible

but happens anyway.

I lost my planet.

I don't want you to lose yours.

It'll take a miracle,

but if you pull this off,

you'll be my new

favorite moment

in human history.

Oh, dear.

I forgot to see this one coming.

[GRIFFIN YELLS]

Damn it!

[CAR BEEPING]

Have these in the future?

No.

Get on.

Keep gyro settings

at zero gain.

Balance pitch and yaw

with bursts on the center stalk

between 80 and 100 psi.

J:

Aah! I didn't understand

any of that!

- Gyro at zero gain.

- It is.

Pitch and yaw with short bursts

on the center stalk.

I did.

Between 80 and 100 psi.

Got it.

Whoa!

BORIS:

The Arc Net! Give it to me!

GRIFFIN:

This isn't the one where you get it!

- All right there, chief?

- Hell, yeah.

It'd be better with four wheels!

Two is, like, my minimum.

[HORN HONKS]

K:
What happens if

Boris gets the Arc Net?

J:
Boglodite invasion,

total destruction of Earth!

[HORN HONKING]

[J SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

The box!

[SNARLS]

[GRUNTS]

Good boy.

We gotta stop this guy!

J:

I've been trying!

You haven't been trying?

K:

Hey, slick.

In the future,

we ever do the Texas two-step?

Yes, sir!

[SCREAMING]

Did you get him?

Give me a sec.

Is he dead?

Negative.

He got away.

I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.

[THUNDER CRASHING

AND RUMBLING]

I feel younger already.

[GRUNTING]

[PIGEON COOING]

[SNIFFING]

[ROARING]

You pathetic waste

of Boglodite flesh.

I'd kill you right now,

if I didn't value my own life.

- Who are you?

- Look at you.

Every mistake I've ever made,

just waiting to happen.

What happened to my arm?

You lose it, shot off by a human.

No human could defeat me.

You spend the next 40 years in

prison, chained up like an animal.

No prison can hold me!

They built one especially for us,

on the moon.

No human has been to the moon,

so they cannot have

built it there already.

Stop arguing! You can avoid

all of that if you just listen to me!

You were defeated!

You let it get shot off!

That wasn't me, that was you!

[BOTH ROARING]

What's your plan?

Prevent the Arc Net

from being deployed.

- Kill anyone who tries.

- Good plan.

Didn't work.

With my help,

we'll get the Arc Net,

kill Agent K,

the invasion will be successful

and we'll get to keep both

of our ar...! Argh! Stop

staring at it!

Listen.

- You all right?

- Yeah. Thank you for saving my life.

It's what we do.

You still have the Arc Net?

When you're being hunted

by Boris the Animal,

you get good

at hiding things.

J:

Whoa.

[CHUCKLES]

This will save your world.

Once it's outside the atmosphere,

it gets

a whole lot bigger.

All you have to do is deploy it.

You mean in space? Well, how

do you suppose we do that?

Ah, it's just one small step.

The moon launch.

Cape Canaveral.

July 16th, 1969.

We got six hours to get to Florida.

Better get a move on, slick.

Uh, wait, uh, hold up.

Not us.

Uh, I'm gonna do this one alone.

He has to be the...

Griffin. Shh-shh-shh.

What do you mean, alone?

I'm gonna go to Florida.

You stay here.

I need you to trust me.

Trust you? I don't think so.

Something you're not telling me, slick?

You're not going to Florida.

That ain't gonna happen, partner.

Look, K,

please, I will not allow you

to go to Florida.

Stop me.

You die there!

Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.

Boris kills you there.

That's what I'm here for.

That's what I came back to stop.

Oh, dear. We're in this one.

K,

I saw the file,

I looked at the report.

I said I told you everything...

[GRUNTS]

That's for lying to me.

Look, I'm sorry, man!

Aah!

That's for telling me the truth!

I'm trying to protect you,

man!

Aah!

The bitterest truth is better

than the sweetest lies.

Shh-shh!

He has to go to Cape Canaveral.

He must deploy the Arc Net

as he did before.

There's no other way.

K is the only hope

in saving Earth.

Can I save him?

Is there any future

where I save his life?

Yes.

But where there is death,

there will always be death.

According to you,

I've done this before.

So we know it's possible.

If you're half the agent

you say you are,

you'll make sure

I don't get killed doing it.

So are we partners? You tell me.

Let's go.

O:

Agent K,

...how are you?

- I'm good.

Okay, group hug on the way

to doing what we're doing.

MAN [ON TV]:
This morning, man is about

to launch himself on a trip to the moon

with the expectation

of landing there.

Look, I gotta ask you.

If we pull this off,

fix things the way they were,

O and I, are we?

A wise man once told me,

don't ask questions you don't

want to know the answer to.

- I said that, didn't I?

- Yes, sir.

O:

Here they are.

J:
What are they?

- Jetpacks.

Jetpacks?

[GRIFFIN LAUGHING]

No, no, no.

We're not doing jetpacks.

There's a reason we don't

have these in the future.

K, we gotta drive.

Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan

in five hours, chief.

Yeah, we can. The red button,

standard issue in every MiB car.

Press the red button,

goes into hyperdrive.

No red buttons yet, slick.

Come on, man.

Do you know

how to work this thing?

It's like with anything.

Just have to strap yourself in,

hope for the best.

Isn't that right, Miss O?

Unfortunately, it is.

[SIGHS]

You ready, slick?

Let's get it.

This is gonna be interesting!

MAN [OVER PA]:

It's just minutes to the

historic launch of Apollo 11

with all going well.

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY

OVER PA]

I'm so glad this isn't

one of the times we explode.

One of the times?

Oh, we got company.

The hell?

[BEEPING AND WAVERING]

Is that a battery belt?

[DEVICE CHIMES]

All right, I got it.

[SIGHS]

No, any reality

that gets the shield deployed

is one where you tell the truth.

The truth?

The truth is the only path.

This is a restricted area!

Yes, sir, it is.

Good day, gentlemen.

Great day for America, isn't it?

My name is Agent J.

This is Agent K. That's Griff.

We're from a secret government

organization

that polices and monitors

alien activity on and off planet Earth.

Heh, here's the thing.

We have this special

little metal thingy

that Griff gave us that we have

to get on top of that rocket,

heh, heh,

to prevent an alien invasion.

[ALL GRUNT]

That worked.

- Like a charm.

MP:
Sir, Delta Gate. We have a problem.

Three trespassers. No IDs,

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