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Men in Black Page #12
- PG-13
- Year:
- 1997
- 98 min
- 1,476 Views
VOICE (O.S.)
Just what exactly do you think you're
doing?
The Orkin Man turns around. EDGAR stands in the doorway to
the garage, staring at him disdainfully.
ORKIN MAN:
(shrugs)
Takin' care of your pest problem.
EDGAR:
"Pest" problem? "Pest?"
ORKIN MAN:
Yeah. You got a hell of an
infestation.
Edgar advances on him, slowly.
EDGAR:
You know, I have noticed an
infestation here. Everywhere I look,
in fact. Nothing but undeveloped,
unevolved, barely conscious pond
scum. So convinced of their own
superiority as they scurry about
their short, pointless lives.
ORKIN MAN:
Well -- yeah. Don't you want to get
rid of 'em?
EDGAR:
In the worst way.
Edgar lashes out quickly, jerking the mask off the Orkin
Man's face with one hand --
-- and shoving the gas hose down his throat with the other.
THE ORKIN MAN'S CAR KEYS drop to the garage floor, and Edgar
picks them up.
EXT. GARAGE - DAY
A six-by-ten sheet of plywood THUDS to the driveway outside
the garage.
EDGAR raises one end of it so it's hanging off the back end
of the Orkin man's van -- now it's a ramp.
He walks off and we hear that familiar SCRAPING sound again.
Edgar, GRUNTING with the effort, slowly pushes his spaceship
up the ramp and into the back of the Orkin truck.
CUT TO:
INT. MIB BUILDING - TUNNEL VENT ROOM - DAY
EDWARDS stands in the middle of the tunnel vent room, the
same one he first came into yesterday. The elevator doors
open and KAY, obviously summoned by the OLD SECURITY GUARD,
stands waiting for him.
EDWARDS:
One thing you gotta know right now.
Edwards walks briskly forward and gets in the elevator with
Kay.
INT. MIB BUILDING - ELEVATOR - DAY
Inside the elevator, the doors WHOOSH shut, KAY turns a key
in a certain floor number, and the descent begins. EDWARDS
continues.
EDWARDS:
All right. I'm in because there's
some next-level sh*t going on around
here, and I'm with that. Before you
beam me up, there are a couple of
things we need to get straight. You
chose me 'cause you recognize the
skills. So as of now you can cease
with all of that calling me "son" or
"kid" or "sport." Cool?
KAY:
Cool, slick. Now about those skills
of yours,
INT. MIB BUILDING - HEADQUARTERS - DAY
-- slide open on Men in Black headquarters.
KAY:
As of this moment, they don't mean
much.
It's unlike anything we've ever seen -- huge, multileveled,
of sixties design, polished steel and glass. The workplaces
are sleek and uncluttered, manned by both HUMANS and ALIENS.
Most of the Aliens stay in the background, like the UPSIDE-
DOWN GUY who walks on the ceiling, shuffling papers.
KAY and EDWARDS step off the elevator and onto a platform
that looks out over the whole place.
Kay leads him down into the complex. First, they walk past a
sort of passport control center, where a human BUREAUCRAT at
a desk is checking the documents of a line of ALIENS who've
just arrived. There are a dozen bizarre life forms in that
line, CHATTING in half a dozen different alien tongues.
Edwards slows as they pass, listening to the PASSPORT CONTROL
OFFICER as he addresses an ARQUILLIAN, a large, humanoid
visitor.
PASSPORT OFFICER
Purpose of trip?
ARQUILLIAN:
Diplomatic mission.
PASSPORT OFFICER
Duration of stay?
ARQUILLIAN:
Lunch.
PASSPORT OFFICER
Carrying any fruits or vegetables?
Edwards just stares, fascinated, but Kay grabs him by the
arm and hurries him along.
KAY:
Let's go. He's a little... grouchy.
Kay moves him into the central hall.
KAY:
A couple of hours wait after a 17-
light-year flight would get on
anybody's nerves.
EDWARDS:
What branch of the government do we
report to?
KAY:
None. They started asking too many
questions.
EDWARDS:
So who pays for all this?
KAY:
Oh, we hold a few patents on gadgets
we confiscated from our out-of-state
visitors. Velcro. Microwave Ovens.
Liposuction.
AT A STORAGE CAGE, Kay turns a key in the lock of a caged-in
area and throws the door open. Inside, there are piles of
sophisticated-looking devices stacked on shelves and
tabletops.
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