Men in Black Page #16

Redgick looks at Kay, clearly concealing something, but darts

his eyes away.

KAY:

What new arrivals? This have anything

to do with the crasher from last

night?

JAY:

(Screaming)

Can you guys do this later?!

But in that moment, Jay finally gets a foot up on the door

frame, acquires leverage, and RIPS the baby free. He falls,

flat on his back in the dirt, the multi-tentacled lizardlike

baby resting squarely on his chest.

JAY:

Oh -- oh -- oh -- man.

Kay turns and claps Redgick on the back.

KAY:

Congratulations! It's a lizard.

Jay looks down at the creature COOING and nestling on his

chest.

JAY:

(misty)

Hey, you know, it is sorta --

It vomits on him.

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGHWAY - SIDE OF THE ROAD - MIB LTD - DAY

Back in the car, JAY wipes the last of the puke off his suit

while KAY starts up the car.

KAY:

Anything about that seem unusual to

you?

Jay just looks at him, very Jack Benny.

JAY:

Pick.

KAY:

What kind of "new arrival" would

scare Redgick so bad that he'd risk

a warp jump with a newborn?

(thinks)

Let's check the hot sheets.

EXT. NEWSSTAND - DAY

CLOSE ON on various supermarket tabloids as a hand flips

through them.

There are headlines like "POPE A FATHER!" and "TOP DOCTORS

BAFFLED -- BABY BORN PREGNANT!" and "MAN EATS OWN HOUSE!"

(the subhead on that one is "And That's Just the Appetizer,

Says Neighbor.")

KAY and JAY are at a downtown newsstand. Kay is furiously

searching through the tabs; Jay is standing behind him, a

little embarrassed.

JAY:

These are the hot sheets?

Kay pulls a copy of the Weekly World News from the stand and

gives the guy a buck.

KAY:

Best damn investigative reporting on

the planet. But hey, go ahead, read

the New York Times if you want. They

get lucky sometimes.

JAY:

You're actually looking for tips in

a supermarket tabloid?

KAY:

Not looking for. Found.

He SMACKS the paper down on the hood in front of Jay, the

pages turned open to a headline in typeface so large one

would think it reserved for the Second Coming:

FARM WIFE SAYS:

"ALIEN STOLE MY HUSBAND'S SKIN!"

CUT TO:

EXT. GEM AND JEWELRY STORE - ORKIN VAN - DAY

A flap of skin, now getting gray and crusty with age, hangs

off EDGAR's neck as he sits in the front of his Orkin van.

He sucks as hard as he possibly can on a straw stuck into a

Jolt Cola ("Double the Sugar! Triple the Caffeine!"), one of

a six-pack that sits on the dashboard.

Across the street, Edgar sees a short, older man come out of

one of the jewelry shops on Thirty-Fifth Street. Edgar drops

the soda and stares.

The Older Man (ROSENBERG), is carrying a cat and an ornate

rosewood jewelry box. Carefully, he sets the box down and

lovingly places the cat on top of it while he locks all five

locks on the door to his distinctive shop.

That finished, he picks up the cat, then the box, then waddles

off down the street, one under each arm.

Edgar drops the truck into gear and follows him, slowly,

trolling along behind him.

ON THE STREET, Rosenberg walks happily along, HUMMING to

himself. He gives his cat a little peck. As he rounds a

corner, we recognize the tune he's humming -- "I've Got the

Whole World In My Hands."

The Orkin van rounds the corner behind him. Following.

CUT TO:

EXT. FARMHOUSE - DAY

The LTD pulls to a stop at the end of the driveway that leads

to Beatrice's farmhouse, where the alien ship landed. The

wrecked pickup truck is still there. JAY and KAY get out,

very undercover cop. Jay starts up the driveway.

KAY:

Not so fast. Walk up slow.

JAY:

Why?

KAY:

Part of the routine. Makes it look

like we're sizing up the situation.

Gives her time to get the wrong

impression.

BEATRICE appears in the door to the house, curious.

KAY:

Puts some fear into her. Makes things

go smoother.

Beatrice calls to them.

BEATRICE:

Can I help you gentlemen?

Beatrice looks much better than the last time we saw her --

more nicely dressed, a touch of makeup, a smile on her face.

Kay pulls a black card from his wallet and extends it to her

as she draws close. As she reaches for it, the card reforms

into an FBI badge.

KAY:

How do you do, ma'am, I'm Special

Agent Manheim, this is Agent Black,

FBI. Had a few questions about your

visitor.

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