Men in Black Page #24

From outside, the ROAR of an engine distracts Edgar. He turns

around, in time to see the Orkin van lurch as the tow lifts

its front wheels off the ground.

EXT. GEM AND JEWELRY STORE - DAY

EDGAR rushes outside as the tow truck DRIVER gets the van up

on the hoist.

EDGAR:

That's my truck!

DRIVER:

And make sure you tell them that at

the impound.

Edgar reaches into the front seat of the van and pulls out

his twelve gauge. He points it at the tow truck Driver. The

tow truck driver looks at him with disdain, and pulling back

his shirt reveals a mean-looking gun.

DRIVER:

I got worse.

He keeps hitching up the van. Two pedestrians walk past the

dispute, very fast, ignoring the debate, headed right for

the shop. We go with them, and realize that it's --

-- JAY and KAY. They stop at the smashed door of the jewelry

shop and exchange a glance. Kay pulls a very menacing-looking

weapon, nods, and they step inside.

INT. GEM AND JEWELRY STORE - DAY

They look around and see the recent demolition caused by

Edgar. Jay furrows his brow.

JAY:

Who robs a jewelry store and leaves

the jewels?

KAY:

Someone who's not looking for jewels.

Jay moves behind the counter. On the floor is an ornate,

empty bowl and a bag of cat food, next to a scrumptious

pillow. There are several PHOTOS OF A CAT on the wall.

There is also a pile of BEJEWELED CAT COLLARS. Jay picks up

one of the COLLARS, inspects it closely, shaking his head.

JAY:

This guy had a serious crush on his

cat.

Jay's attention is broken by something through the window.

Outside, lumbering straight for the store, is EDGAR.

Jay thinks for a moment -- where does he know that face?

Suddenly, Edgar raises his arms, pointing both the farmer's

rifle and the driver's shotgun. Before Edgar can shoot, Jay

YELLS...

JAY:

Kay! GET DOWN!

And then Jay FIRES, shattering the storefront window, and

BLOWING UP A CAR on the street. The blast hurls him up and

back a good ten feet, SLAMMING him into the wall with

tremendous force. Edgar turns and rushes away down the street

as Jay picks himself up.

JAY:

The bug in the Edgar suit! The ugly

redneck from the picture! That's

him!

Jay leaps through the broken storefront window and after

Edgar.

KAY:

(picking himself up)

Damn it.

Kay runs out after Jay.

EXT. GEM AND JEWELRY STORE - DAY

Edgar doesn't bother sticking around to continue his fight.

He jumps behind the wheel of the tow truck, starts it up,

and hits the gas. The engine ROARS.

Jay sprints after him, FIRING his noisy cricket. He is thrown

back into some pedestrians, while his SHOT...

Hits the rigging between the Orkin Van and the town truck,

separating the two. Jay pulls himself up and sprints after

the tow truck, but it accelerates too quickly.

Edgar is just about to turn the corner when Jay leaps onto a

parked CAR to try and get some height. As Jay prepares to

shoot, EDGAR DISAPPEARS AROUND THE CORNER, and a HUGH TRUCK

backs into his line of fire.

JAY FIRES, the TRUCK EXPLODES and Jay flies BACKWARDS,

hurtling through the air and CRASHING through the window of

a car, his rear end right in the woman driver's face.

When Jay looks up, Kay is standing before him. He yanks Jay

out of the car.

KAY:

We do not discharge our weapons in

view of the public.

JAY:

Can we drop the cover-up bullshit?!

There's an Alien Battle Cruiser that's

gonna blow-up the world if we don't...

KAY:

There's always an Alien Battle

Cruiser... or a Korlian Death Ray,

or... an intergalactic plague about

to wipe out life on this planet, and

the only thing that lets people get

on with their hopeful little lives

is that they don't know about it.

Kay gestures to a group of ONLOOKERS, drawn by the curious

blasts from the store. There's smoking rubble everywhere.

KAY:

Don't worry about the bug. He's not

leaving town. We've got his ship.

After gesturing to the back of the Orkin van, where Edgar's

spaceship is neatly stowed, Kay pulls out his cell phone.

KAY:

(into phone)

Zed, we're gonna need a containment

crew down here at McDougal, south of

Houston.

INT. MIB BUILDING - HEADQUARTERS - DAY

Back at Men in Black Headquarters, the little lights on the

world map which indicate aliens' locations are going out,

one by one, about one every five or ten seconds. A WARNING

BUZZER is sounding, over and over, and HUMAN STAFFERS are

rushing left and right.

Rate this script:3.8 / 4 votes