Men in Black Page #26

FRANK THE PUG:

The galaxy is here.

KAY:

Here?

JAY:

The galaxy is hundreds of millions

of stars and planets? How's it here?

If a dog can smirk, Frank does.

FRANK THE PUG:

You humans, when're you gonna learn

that size doesn't matter? Just 'cause

something's important, doesn't mean

it's not very, very small.

KAY:

How small?

FRANK THE PUG:

Tiny. Like the size of a marble. Or

a jewel. Now if you'll excuse me, I

need to be walked before the flight.

Kay lets go of Frank, turns to Jay, who is lost in thought.

KAY:

(to Frank the Pug)

Get out of here.

(then to Jay)

The galaxy's here. It's not on Orion's

belt.

Jay suddenly notices Frank the Pug bark at a cat farther

down the sidewalk.

JAY:

Kay...

CUT TO:

INT. MORGUE - DAY

In the morgue, LAUREL is working at a desk when suddenly

ROSENBERG'S CAT leaps up onto it from nowhere, the way cats

do, landing right in the middle of the file she's studying.

Laurel jumps.

LAUREL:

Boy, when you want attention --

She pets the cat. As she does, the cat's collar shines in

the light.

Laurel turns the name tag to face her.

CLOSE ON A PRECIOUS JEWEL, AND THE WORD "ORION."

As it is written across the collar of the cat.

LAUREL (O.S.)

"Orion." That's a pretty name.

From out in the corridor, a bell rings -- DING, DING.

Laurel notices something dangling from the cat's collar -- a

CIRCULAR ICON of a strange and beautiful metal. The center

is some sort of hardened, translucent material, light green

in color.

LAUREL:

What's this?

She peers into the jewel, and her face washes over with

amazement.

INT. ICON - DAY

It's as if Laurel is sucked into another universe. Her face

goes beatifically blank as she sails through a massive

starfield, millions of stars, billions of green, verdant

planets, all racing by her at the speed of light.

INT. MORGUE - DAY

LAUREL:

Wow.

Outside, the bell DINGS again. Orion looks up, as if knowing

who's out there, and not liking it. She SNARLS at the door

and leaps off the desk, scurrying across the lab and

disappearing under some equipment.

INT./EXT. LTD - MANHATTAN - DAY

Jay and Kay barrel through town.

JAY:

So two galaxies have been fighting

for years. And the only people who've

been benefiting are a race of

creatures called bugs. Then the two

galaxies decide to make peace... and

the bugs send this guy down to make

sure the fighting never stops.

KAY:

By killing the emissaries, and

stealing the galaxy they've been

fighting about.

JAY:

And if we don't get it back before

he leaves the planet... we're history.

KAY:

We're not even history. 'Cause history

implies there's someone around to

remember it.

INT. MORGUE - CORRIDOR - DAY

On a counter in the morgue corridor, a gray, peeling hand

BANGS on a bell on a countertop, over and over. The hand

belongs to EDGAR, who is carrying his shotgun, concealing it

behind one leg. The morgue attendant, TONY, emerges from a

small security cage carrying a worn paperback copy of Atlas

Shrugged and a fly swatter.

TONY:

Thank you for making sure the bell

works.

Suddenly, quick as a gunfighter, Tony SNAPS the fly swatter

down on a BUZZING FLY. Edgar winces.

TONY:

(to Edgar)

What's up, Farmer John?

EDGAR:

A man came in here earlier. A dead

man.

TONY:

And this means what to me?

EDGAR:

He was a very dear friend of mine.

And I believe he had an animal with

him. A gift I gave him, a pet cat

that means worlds to me. I would

like it back.

TONY:

I'll need a picture ID, written proof

of ownership of the cat, or notarized

proof of kinship with --

WHACK! Tony flicks the fly swatter again, sending another

bug to meet its maker. Edgar grits his teeth.

TONY:

-- the deceased.

EDGAR:

Don't -- do that.

WHACK! Still another fly goes down.

TONY:

Do what?

Tony looks down, to where Edgar's hands rest on the counter.

Half a dozen cockroaches stream out of his sleeve.

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