Men in Black Page #28

INT. MORGUE - CORRIDOR - DAY

Kay pulls out a box of matches and strikes one on the side.

He raises it to his cigarette, but as it draws close, the

match goes out with a sharp

SIZZLE.

Kay furrows his brow. Odd.

INT. MORGUE - DAY

Laurel is at the end of her rope.

LAUREL:

Look, Stud, I don't know how many

more times I'm going to get to tell

you this. There's something --

She points, sharply, at the examination table directly in

front of her.

LAUREL:

-- that you have to help me with.

Jay's smile vanishes and his jaw drops as he figures it out.

He starts to reach for his gun.

INT. MORGUE - CORRIDOR - DAY

Kay raises another lit match to his cigarette, but as this

one gets close,

a BIG GLOB OF GOO drops from the ceiling and onto the match,

dousing the flame.

Kay looks up, sharply.

Above him, TONY, the counter guy, is stuck to one high corner

of the ceiling by an enormous wad of viscous, dripping fluid.

He's dead, a frozen look of terror on his face and the can

of Raid still clutched in his hand.

From inside the morgue, Laurel SCREAMS.

INT. MORGUE - DAY

Kay races into the morgue just as the examination table

EXPLODES into the air, revealing EDGAR, who was hiding beneath

it.

Now everything happens at once. Jay leaps back and draws the

Noisy Cricket, Kay pulls out his series four de-atomizer,

and Edgar holds his shotgun under Laurel's chin, using her

body to shield his own.

KAY:

Freeze it, Bug!

JAY:

Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

LAUREL:

(to Jay)

CHRIST, are you THICK!

JAY:

How was I supposed to know!?!

LAUREL:

What did I have to do, SING it for

you!?!

JAY:

Maybe if you didn't come on like a

drunken prom date!

LAUREL:

Oh, that's SO typical. Any time a

woman shows the slightest hint of

sexual independence, men just --

EDGAR:

Everybody shut UP!

KAY:

Let her go, Sh*t Eater.

EDGAR:

Listen, Monkey Boy, I may have to

take that kind of talk in my end of

the universe, but compared to you

humans, I'm the top rung on the

evolutionary ladder, so can it, all

right?!

KAY:

You're breakin' my heart. Move six

inches to your left and I'll solve

all your problems.

ORION the cat suddenly attacks, leaping off the top of the

cabinet and landing on Edgar, HISSING and scratching and

clawing for all she's worth.

Edgar snaps an arm up and whips her off. The cat squirms in

his arm, the icon jangling. Edgar grabs the icon, holds onto

it, and flings the cat away, across the morgue. The icon

comes free, remaining in his hand.

He drops it into his mouth and swallows. He shoves the gun

hard against Laurel's cheek.

EDGAR:

That's better. Now put down your

weapons. We're leaving.

Kay freezes, teeth clenched, gun still in front of him.

Standoff.

EDGAR:

Have you ever pulled the wings off a

fly?

Edgar cranks one of Laurel's arms behind her back, hard, and

she CRIES OUT in pain.

EDGAR:

Would you care to see the fly get

even?

KAY:

How far you think you'll get without

your ship? If that's what you call

that hunk of space crap we've got

back at our office.

EDGAR:

Put the weapons down!

KAY:

Never gonna happen, Insect.

Edgar backs away with Laurel, further into the morgue, toward

a glass window that looks out at the base of an air shaft.

Jay and Kay advance, slowly, cornering him.

JAY:

It's okay, Laurel!

LAUREL:

HOW is it okay?!

JAY:

I mean it's going to be okay!

EDGAR:

Don't bet on it, meat sack.

And with that he turns, leaps --

-- and CRASHES right through the window, into the air shaft.

EXT. MORGUE (SIDE STREET) - DUSK

EDGAR, still clutching LAUREL, EXPLODES up over a railing.

Nobody looks twice as Edgar, dragging Laurel (with his arm

over her mouth), races toward the nearby busy Manhattan

Street.

INT. MORGUE - AIR SHAFT - DUSK

Jay and Kay duck into the air shaft and look up -- too far

to climb, and the walls are smooth anyway.

KAY:

Damn it!

They turn and run out of the morgue.

EXT. THE NEARBY BUSY MANHATTAN STREET - DUSK

EDGAR, with LAUREL, RUNS right in front of a CAB, which

screeches to a halt inches from them. The CABBIE sticks his

head out and YELLS something in an unknown language. And

KEEPS yelling as --

Rate this script:3.8 / 4 votes