Men in Black Page #29

Edgar reaches through the passenger side and pulls the Cabbie

out the door (cigarette and wooden seat-beads and all).

The Cab Driver is still yelling as Edgar leaps in, pushing

Laurel in before him, leaving her behind the wheel.

He removes a POSTCARD -- the one he took from the display on

the newsstand.

EDGAR:

Take me here.

LAUREL:

What???

Edgar just cranks the car into gear -- opening his mouth and

swallowing the icon -- and in so doing revealing a TRIPLE

ROW OF SERRATED BUG-TEETH, he SLAMS HIS FOOT on the gas pedal.

Laurel's head snaps back as the car rocks forward. She has

no choice, but to grab the wheel and start steering as --

The car screeches out into traffic, swerving wildly as Laurel

is forced to make a 90-degree turn. The car fishtails wildly,

swiping an oncoming car as it straightens and heads into the

traffic.

The furious Cab Driver runs off after it, still yelling as

he disappears around the corner.

A second later, KAY and JAY rush out into the street. The

cab is nowhere to be seen. Jay runs into the street, noticing

the wooden beads, the ripped pine-scented green deodorizer,

and the still-burning cigarette.

JAY:

They're in a cab.

And Jay starts running down the street, where DOZENS of cabs

are waiting at the intersection. He's running from cab to

cab, pounding on windows, scaring the living sh*t out of

people --

JAY:

Hey! Laurel!? Hey!

-- but Laurel and Edgar are nowhere to be found. Up ahead

the light turns green and the tide of taxis wash away, leaving

Jay on the street. He turns as a car screeches up behind

him, its headlights shining in his eyes. As it gets closer,

Jay sees it's Kay in the LTD.

KAY:

Stop wasting time. He's not getting

off the planet in a cab.

CUT TO:

INT. MIB BUILDING - HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

Jay and Kay rush in from the door under the World's Fair

mural, and head toward the main display screen; all around

them, the MIB staffers are in frenetic activity in response

to the threat from above.

KAY:

(to tech at a desk)

Come with me. Put up a bio-net all

the way around Manhattan; if it's

not human, it's not leaving the

island.

KAY:

What've we got from our friends

upstairs?

ZED:

Same thing:
"Deliver the galaxy."

KAY:

Yeah, well the bug's got the galaxy,

but we've got his ship. He's got to

be looking for a way out.

Just then, a loud ALARM wails.

AT THE MAIN VIEWING SCREEN, A GREEN LINE shoots out from the

Arquillian ship, striking a region of planet earth.

INT. MIB BUILDING - HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT

-- headquarters, where every bell, whistle and light

imaginable is going off.

JAY:

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY SHOOTING AT

US FOR?!

ZED:

Arquillian battle rules, kid. First

we get an ultimatum, then a warning

shot, then we have a galactic standard

week to respond.

JAY:

A galactic standard week? How the

hell long is that?

KAY:

One hour.

JAY:

One hour?

Viewing the screen, it now reads:

MIB:

DELIVER THE GALAXY OR THE EARTH WILL BE DESTROYED...

SORRY:

ZED:

To keep the bugs from getting it,

the Arquillians will destroy the

galaxy and whatever planet it's on.

JAY:

You're talking about US!

ZED:

Sucks, doesn't it?

KAY:

Pull up the locations of all land-

based interstellar vehicles.

ZED:

They're all gone. Frank the Pug took

the last ship on the planet.

As Kay and Zed watch as the machine scrolls through the data,

Jay walks back towards the center of the room, deep in

thought. Over him we hear:

KAY:

Atlantic City?

ZED:

Gone.

KAY:

That landfill on the Jersey Shore?

ZED:

Gone.

JAY:

Uh, gentlemen.

KAY:

Epcot?

ZED:

Gone.

KAY:

Miami Beach?

ZED:

Gone.

JAY:

Fellas.

KAY:

Hartford?

ZED:

Gone, thank God.

JAY:

Hey. Old guys.

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