Men in Black Page #8

VOICE (O.S.)

Place projectile weapon on ground.

Edgar staggers back a step, terrified. But then he regains

himself, raises the weapon, and steps forward, pointing it

menacingly down into the hole.

EDGAR:

You can have my gun when you pry it

from my cold, dead fingers!

There is a pause while the voice thinks about this offer.

Finally, it responds, in a voice and cadence remarkably

similar to Edgar's.

VOICE (O.S.)

Your proposal is acceptable.

A long, hairy pincer flashes out of the hole, grabs Edgar by

the head, and pulls him down into the hole.

From deep in the hole, we hear a terrible RIPPING sound,

like a bedsheet being torn in half. There are some disgusting

GUSHY sounds, then a moment later, something flies out of

the hole and FLOPS onto the ground next to the truck.

It's Edgar. Well, sort of. His body parts still hang together --

face, arms, legs, even clothes -- but everything inside has

been removed and now he just lies there, flat and empty,

like a tuxedo on the floor after the prom.

The shotgun flies out and lands beside him.

CUT TO:

INT. FARMHOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

BEATRICE sits at the kitchen table, terrified, still wiping

away tears from Edgar's diatribe. The door opens and EDGAR

comes back into the kitchen, seemingly fleshed out again,

leaving the door hanging open behind him. He carries the

shotgun.

She looks up at him, anxious. But his face is a blank.

BEATRICE:

What on earth was it?!

He looks at her strangely. When he speaks, his voice is

different than before. More refined.

EDGAR:

Sugar.

Pause. She looks out the window, at the smoking truck.

BEATRICE:

I've never seen sugar do that.

EDGAR:

Give me sugar.

Puzzled, Beatrice gets up, goes to the cabinet, and grabs a

bag of sugar.

She holds it out to him.

EDGAR:

In water.

Frightened, she takes a glass of water from the table. She

dumps some of the sugar into it.

EDGAR:

More.

She puts more, till the glass is brimming. She stirs it

quickly with a knife and hands it to him, her hand trembling.

Edgar takes it and downs it in a single gulp. Beatrice stares

at Edgar, no idea what to think. She notices something odd

about the skin on his neck.

BEATRICE:

Edgar, your skin! It's -- it's --

just hanging off your bones!

Edgar drops the glass and looks in a window, to catch his

reflection. He reaches up --

-- and twists his whole face, as if adjusting a ski mask,

then tucks the skin of his neck back into his shirt collar.

He looks at her.

EDGAR:

That better?

Beatrice faints.

EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT

Stillness. Silence. A loud SCRAPING sound comes from the pit

left by the spaceship.

The nose of the ship itself rises up out of the pit, wavers,

keeps moving, and finally CRUNCHES to the ground outside the

pit.

EDGAR climbs out of the pit, breathing heavily. He dusts

himself off and continues pushing the ship, along the ground,

off into the darkness.

CUT TO:

EXT. MIB BUILDING - DAY

The next morning. EDWARDS, holding the small MIB business

card in his hand, compares the address written down by Kay

to the address on the utterly nondescript building in front

of him. It's seven stories high, gray, windowless, perfectly

square, squatting on a bridge over a road like a fat guy on

the john.

"504 Battery Drive."

INT. MIB BUILDING - TUNNEL VENT ROOM - DAY

EDWARDS steps through a heavily barred metal door and into

long, bizarre room. One wall is entirely dominated by the

enormous blades of a tunnel vent air intake. There is an

elevator at the far end of the room and an OLD SECURITY GUARD,

the rent-a-cop kind, reading a comic book on a folding metal

chair halfway across.

Edwards walks across the room, his footsteps ECHOING. The

Guard looks up.

GUARD:

Help you?

EDWARDS:

Maybe, I'm not sure, see, I got this

card --

GUARD:

Elevator. Push the "call" button.

And he goes back to his comic book. Edwards, maybe out of

nothing more than curiosity at this point, walks across the

room, toward the elevator.

As he draws close, the elevator doors WHOOSH open, expecting

him.

INT. MIB BUILDING - ENTRANCE ELEVATOR - DAY

Edwards steps inside and turns around. The doors close. He

pushes the "call" button and waits, but the elevator doesn't

move. Instead, doors on the other side of the elevator slide

open silently behind him. Edwards waits, unaware.

From behind him, somebody clears their throat. Edwards turns

around, and finds himself standing in --

INT. MIB BUILDING - INTERVIEW ROOM - DAY

This back room is every bit as mysterious and unfamiliar as

the entryway.

Standing at the front of the room is ZED, a wire-haired career

G-man, an old school bureaucrat, wearing the exact same kind

of suit Kay had on last night. SIX OTHER HOT RECRUITS sit in

egg-shaped chairs, staring at Edwards.

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