Men in Black Page #7

Kay pulls the neuralyzer from his pocket. He hesitates for

the briefest of moments -- as if this particular neuralyzation

is different than all the others.

Then he puts on his sunglasses.

KAY:

Ever see one of these?

CUT TO:

INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - NIGHT

-- the flash dims on EDWARDS and KAY, sitting at a table in

a Chinese restaurant.

KAY:

(finishing a joke)

-- and the wife says yeah, Harry, I

know, but this one's eating my

popcorn!

He busts out laughing. Edwards, across from him, is completely

disoriented. He looks down. There's a half-eaten order of

broccoli beef and several empty bottles of beer on the table

in front of him.

EDWARDS:

Huh?

Kay checks his watch.

KAY:

Whoops. Gotta run. Thanks for the

egg rolls.

EDWARDS:

Where am I?

KAY:

See what I mean about tequila? You're

a bright young man, James. Just lay

off the sauce. I'll see you tomorrow,

nine a.m. sharp.

He turns and walks out. Edwards checks his watch. A WAITRESS

appears.

WAITRESS:

Another beer?

EDWARDS:

Coffee. Please.

She walks off. Edwards looks at the table. There is a business

card lying next to his plate, on which Kay has handwritten

"James D. Edwards, Saturday, 9 a.m., 504 Battery Drive."

Edwards looks at it, puzzled. He turns the card over and

looks at the other side. There's not much there, no name, no

phone or fax number, no e-mail address. Just three little

letters, dead in the middle of the card:

MIB:

CUT TO:

EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT

A lonely farmhouse stands amid the fields of upstate New

York farm country. Several lights are on and through a window

we can see the silhouette of a MAN sitting at the kitchen

table, the silhouette of a WOMAN hovering over him, bringing

things to him.

The Man (EDGAR) waves his arms, ranting.

EDGAR (O.S.)

I go out, I work my butt off to make

a living, all I want is to come home

to a nice clean house with a nice

fat steak on the table, but instead

I get this -- this -- I don't even

know what you call this!

In the sky above, it's one of those brilliant star fields.

But something strange is happening with one of those stars --

it's getting bigger.

EDGAR (O.S.)

I'll tell you what it looks like, it

looks like poison. Don't you take

that away, I'm eating that, damn it!

It is poison, isn't it?!

No, that star isn't getting bigger, it's moving. Toward us.

Fast. It goes from a pinpoint to a dime, to a nickel, to a

quarter, and works its way into fruit metaphors.

EDGAR (O.S.)

I swear to God, I would not be

surprised if it was, the way you

skulk around here like a dog been

hit too much -- or ain't been hit

enough, I can't make up my mind.

Okay, we're way past watermelon now, that thing is huge, and

it's starting to glow hot red as it enters the earth's

atmosphere, headed straight toward us, coming here, to

Beatrice and Edgar's place.

The blazing fireball barrels through the sky, SNAPS off a

couple trees --

EDGAR (O.S.)

You're useless, Beatrice! The only

thing that pulls its weight around

here is my goddamn truck!

-- and SLAMS right through a pickup truck parked in the

driveway. A concussive BLAST follows, then a geyser of smoke

and flame erupts.

EDGAR (O.S.)

Stay here!

The silhouette of Edgar leaps to its feet, races to the door,

and throws it open. Edgar is everything his voice led us to

expect -- a nasty, bug-eyed redneck carrying a twelve-gauge

shotgun. His mouth agape, he walks across the yard and stares

at the hulking shell that was his truck.

The skeleton of the truck is still there, but there's a huge,

smoldering hole in it, a hole that goes at least ten feet

down into the ground.

EDGAR:

Figures.

He walks to the truck and touches the door handle. Hot. Using

his shirt tail, he opens the door and peers down into the

hole.

IN THE HOLE, he sees a smooth curve of metal and a few

blinking lights.

Embedded into the ground is, indeed, a spaceship, maybe eight

feet across.

BEATRICE calls from behind him, standing in the doorway

fearfully.

BEATRICE:

What is it, Edgar?!

EDGAR:

(turns to her)

Get your big butt back in that house!

Beatrice does as she's told, closing the door behind her.

Edgar turns back to the smoldering rock, raising his shotgun

in defense. AN OTHERWORLDLY VOICE comes from deep in the

hole.

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