Mere Dad Ki Maruti

Excuse me, mister,

please take me to sector 9.

It's so hot.

It's Raj.

Baby, why are you

travelling in a rickshaw?

It's thanks to Sameer!

He's such an ass.

He was supposed to pick me up

from the salon two hours ago...

and as usual he's ditched me.

Why am I not surprised?

He's got no control

Anyway, I was wondering...

for the wedding,

should I keep an Iron Man

frenchie or a Dabaang moustache?

What do you think?

- Baby!

On our wedding night I'm not

interested in getting acupressure done.

Ok... tell me, how are the

wedding preparations going?

Mom has turned into Lady Gaga..

...and is driving everyone

crazy with her policing.

And you know how dad is...

I think he's negotiating

discounts even in his sleep!

In short our Khullar house has

turned into a complete madhouse!

Excuse me, are these decorations

worthy of a bungalow in Sector 9?

Is my only daughter getting married..

...using plastic

chairs at her reception?

Obviously not, right?

Make sure I don't see them

in Shivalik Farms or else!

Come on, get on with it!

Dear God! Stop will you! How many

times do I have to repeat myself?

You have to start playing the

dhols just when the car arrives!

Not before... enough already.

Tanvi, my baby. I sent

Sameer to pick you up hours ago.

Morning, aunty.

I really think you should

be very strict with Sameer.

See how he's left

Tanvi stranded yet again.

By the way, Tanvi darling, did

Sameer tell you where he is?

Go!!!! Step on it, dude!

I wish I could drive all day

I wish I could make you

sit next to me all day

Change the track, turn up the sound

Change my gear, let's go round

Don't say that, thought you was down

Everyone's fond of her Oh

Everyone loves her. Oh

Everyone worships her Oh

Everyone takes care of her Oh

She is so beautiful Oh

She fills my heart Oh

She is one of a kind She is so smart

Oh

Oh

She's sexy right

Am feeling that

She's sexy tight

I'm feeling that Oh

You're feeling that Oh

I'm feeling that Oh

Everyone's fond of her Oh

Everyone loves her.

Take a drive in the sunshine

Look at this city, it's all mine

I got the big doh on it

And the ladies want it

It's the capital city

So beautiful, not nitty gritty

I put my foot down on it

Mohali chronic

Pound for pound

Now we're racing with some clowns

Put your arms up for the clouds

Girl, have no doubt Oh

She's sexy right Oh

Am feeling that Oh

She's sexy tight Oh

I'm feeling that Oh

You're feeling that Oh

I'm feeling that

She's sitting tight, next to me

She's flying high, next to me

Ohh...

This bike is heavy duty Ohh...

Everyone's fond of her. Ohh...

She's a beauty. Ohh...

She's a beauty. Ohh...

Ohh...

Pick up the speed.

Pick up the speed.

Ride the breeze

Pick up the speed.

Pick up the speed.

Pick up the speed.

Ride the breeze

Pick up the speed.

Everyone's fond of her Oh

Everyone loves her Oh

Everyone worships her Oh

Everyone takes care of her Oh

She is so beautiful Oh

She fills my heart Oh

She is one of a kind Oh

She is so smart Oh

Jackass, you have five hundred

thousand missed calls from your dad.

And by now he must

have called my house!

And you know how crazy my dad gets

when he switches into his army mode

He's going to kick

my ass thanks to you.

Gattu my bro, have you ever

wondered why your name rhymes with Fattu

Sameer my bro, have you ever wondered

why your Tej is

always hunting for you?

You know Tej, don't you?

Come here. Should I slap you?

Dog.

- Right or left?

Come lick my shoe.

- Stupid buffoon.

Why you keeping quiet?

- Bloody Idiot.

Why the hell are you quiet?

- You want a slap?

You shut up and answer me. Eat sh*t.

You want to eat sh*t?

- Shalu, give him a plate of sh*t.

Wow, you really made me proud today!

Beating.

- Sameer...

Idiot

- Sameer...

Get out Sameeeeeeeeer!

Sameer! You stupid buffoon.

Are you dead? Where the hell

are you? You come here right now!

Where have you been

loafing around this time?

Moron.

Come here, I said!

Dad, I'm not coming.

You're only interested

in squeezing my ears

and making a lemonade for yourself.

Come on Teju, we are all

getting ready for a wedding!

Please let it go.

Is he doing his board

exams that I should let it go?

Useless burger

Dad, it's bugger, not burger.

Shut up. So now you're going

to teach me English are you?

I told you ten times to go and

pick up my trousers from the tailor.

Did you do it? Now

am I to wear boxers..

...under my jacket and prance around?

Give me the receipt.

What receipt?

You good-for-nothing!

Sameer, you go and

pour oil in the lamps.

From one side to the other.

Go, son! Quickly!

Shalu, where the hell

did you produce him from?

I'm sure he got

switched in the hospital.

He loses everything! Why

don't you get lost sometimes?

Please will you do that for me?

Now I know why some

animals eat their own children!

Gross. - Bloody dog. I waited for

two hours in the parlour for you.

Are you getting

married today? Are you?

Why are you getting so excited?

- Thank god.

At least I won't have to see your

ugly face every day in the morning.

Oh shut up! Have you

ever taken a good..

...look at your ugly

face in the mirror?

Bloody dog!

- Moron!

Go to hell!

- You go to hell!

Kuljit, did you go all the way to

South India to get me one coconut?

Can you hurry please! Give it to me.

Why does everyone want to

break coconuts? What's going on?

Son, in reality I would

much rather break your head..

...but I'll make do

using a coconut instead.

Do us a favor, go get lost somewhere.

Dad, for crying out loud,

please put your jokes on shuffle.

Check on your weight first, your

tummy is increasing day by day.

Bloody idiot!

Thank you, thank you!

Wow Dad! New Maruti Ertiga.

And that too, top end! Is this ours?

No, no, I bought it

for our neighbours!

Aww, Dad! I always misjudged you.

Silly. Don't touch the car.

Step away from it.

Come on, dad, if I step away

from the car how will I drive?

It's obviously not that automatic.

Don't play dumb you

planet of the apes!

I haven't bought this car

for your loafing around!

This is a wedding present for my

daughter and my future son-in-law.

What! This car is

for Raj? Is he serious?

Mom he is so un-cool, he doesn't

even know where the Gehri route is!

Hey, did you know, our very first

car was a small little Maruti 800.

So? - We brought Tanvi and you

home from the hospital in it...

Then on our 10th anniversary I

gave my wife Shalu a Maruti Swift.

Remember, Shalu?

- Of course I remember!

And now for Tanvi's wedding

I am giving Raj and Tanvi..

...this beautiful Maruti Ertiga.

Isn't it great!

I can't believe you guys!

I'm obviously not your son. Have

you ever given me a cycle even?

First, grow up! Become a man.

Then let's see if

you deserve anything.

Okay, Dad fine. I will never

forget this day. Just wait and watch.

One day I'll line up cars in front

of you. You just wait and watch.

Are you planning on

working in the Maruti showroom?

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