Metro Page #7

l could have said you could-- ""Why

don't you put your ass in this bowl.""

lt-- That's a joke.

'Cause they're all sweetness.

l don't see how you're offended because

that's very-- That's a compliment.

lf somebody told me to put my ass

in a bowl of salad dressing...

l would be complimented.

What would you say

if l gave up gambling?

l'd say you'd be miserable.

lt's not so much the gambling. lt's more

what the gambling got in the way of.

The track is where you

would take your troubles...

instead of sharing them

with me.

Scott, do you remember when you lost

that hostage on Union Square?

Yes, l do.

You came here that night

and you made love to me...

and it was so intense and so passionate,

but you hadn't even talked to me.

l didn't even know what happened until

l saw it on the news the next morning.

Now, that's because l don't want you

to be part of that world, Ronnie.

Yeah, that's the point.

lt's not that world.

lt's your world.

lt's part of who you are.

Look, Ronnie,

it's not easy for me.

Okay? And l know

l can't change overnight.

But listen to me.

l know that l miss you...

and l don't ever want

to be without you again.

l'd really like

to believe you.

Well, then believe me.

Nobody asked you anything.

l missed you.

l'm Officer McCall.

What's goin' on?

What the f*** do you mean, what's goin'

on? l'll tell ya what's goin' on.

l'm about to f***in' waste

everybody in here, pal!

Okay, l'm a hostage negotiator.

l'm here to help you.

How the hell are you

gonna help me, pig?

Screw you, man!

F*** you, dude!

- Well, l want you to tell me

what you need.

- What do l need?

l'll tell you

what l f***in' need, man.

l need you to f***in' find

that dirtbag that f***in'

ran off with my wife, dude...

so l can cut his

f***in' balls off, man.

- Okay, l-l can't do that.

- You can't f***in' do it?

Why am l wasting my

f***in' time with you, man?

You piece of f***in' frog sh*t,

piece of sh*t a**hole!

Hey, hey, is all

the name-calling necessary?

l don't like the verbal abuse.

No, not really, but l like

to throw all that in there...

you know, to kind of give it

the natural ambience, you know?

l'm Officer McCall.

l'm unarmed.

l just want to make sure everybody

gets out of here safely.

Okay, stop right there.

Close your eyes.

- Okay.

- Tell me what you see.

l see a scumbag behind

the counter with a sawed-off.

Nine-millimetre tucked away

in his waistband.

There's a female hostage down

in front of the cereal rack...

with a red polka-dot dress.

Another hostage three feet to her right,

with blue jeans and a checkered shirt.

A male hostage down, green shirt,

white pants, in front of the candy rack.

There's a female scumbag behind me

with a gun tucked away in her shirt...

trying to pass herself off

as a hostage.

And there's a special

on toilet paper, four for $1.29.

That's a lot of toilet paper.

- Am l right?

- That's pretty good. You got good eyes.

- You like that?

- Very impressive.

How you doin', Mike?

Doin' all right?

How the f***

do you think l'm doin'?

l got something

l want you to do for me.

This f***er Roper,

he's got a girlfriend.

She works at the newspaper.

So-- What do you wa--

What do you--

No, Mike. No, Mike, come on. You

know that's not my thing, right?

Hey, don't gimme any sh*t, Clarence.

l'm in here because of you!

Mikey, come on, man.

You know you--

You were just robbin' a store,

and he was doin' his job.

F*** you!

- Oh, Mike.

- l carried you your whole life, okay?

You needed money.

You needed a place to stay.

You were strung out. Bail.

This time you are there for me.

Mikey, don't do this to me,

please.

- You do it!

- l ain't gonna get away with it, Mike.

You just f***in' do it!

Guard!

Oh, f***. God!

- Hello?

- Hey, how you doin'?

Look, l'm gonna stop at the corner and

get some wine. l got the bread already.

- Dinner will be ready soon.

- Okay, good. l'm starving.

All right.

l'll see you later.

- Find it, sir?

- Yeah, l found it.

- Thanks.

- That all for you?

Here you go.

Thanks a lot.

No!

Ow!

Help me!

Help me!

Ronnie!

Ronnie!

You okay?

Yeah.

Watch it!

Oh!

lf you try to hurt me

or anybody else l know...

l swear to God l'm gonna find

a way to get in here, and l'm

gonna bust your f***in' ass!

Then l'm gonna put my gun in your mouth

and blow your f***in' brains out.

- You understand?

- l don't even know what

you're talking about.

- You know what the f***

l'm talking about.

- No, l'm afraid l do not.

- Don't f***in' play games with me.

You know what the f*** l'm talk--

- No, l don't.

You don't know what the f***

l'm talking about?

You see this guy here?

That's your cousin, right?

Well, the guy with the white

gloves on is the coroner.

That's what the f***

l'm talking about.

l'm talking about not playing

with me, motherf***er.

Don't f*** with me, man.

l'm not playing with you.

You know, in Naples,

there's an expression.

""When you think you're f***in'

them, they're f***in' you.""

Well, you know what? You ain't in

motherfuckin' Naples right now.

F*** that Naples sh*t. Did you hear

what the f*** l just told you?

l don't give a f***...

about anything or anybody.

Not now.

Least of all a n*gger cop

interferes with what's mine.

And what is mine is

ten million dollars' worth.

You come in here.

You threaten me.

Show me a photo

of my dead cousin, my family.

l got at least ten years

in here to figure out...

exactly how to f*** with you

and everything you care about.

Hey, f*** you!

You don't give a f***?

l don't give a f*** neither, man.

l don't give a f*** about you.

F***er! Try me!

F***in' try me and see what

the f***-- Get the f*** off me!

You try me!

- Where's my pasta?

- lt's coming.

- You enjoying San Francisco?

- Oh, l love it.

Have you been

to the deYoung Museum?

Sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

lt has an excellent nose. lt's quite

vintage, and you may serve it up.

- Thank you.

- This evening's specials:

we have grilled squab

with a sweet potato foie gras...

spring roll with a wild

huckleberry sauce.

We also are offering

braised sweetbreads...

with a white truffle sauce

on cracked bulgur.

- Cracked bulgur?

- Mm-hmm.

You know, my mouth has been screaming

for some cracked bulgur all week.

Can we have a couple of minutes

to look at the menu?

-Oh, sure. Take your time.

-Man can't live on cracked bulgur alone.

-Nice place, huh?

-Yeah, l think it's really nice.

- Bit expensive, though.

- Very, very, very expensive.

ln fact, it's costing me

quite a pretty penny...

to wine and dine you in such fashion,

so l hope you're appreciative of it.

Mmm, but l think

l'm worth it.

l think you're worth it too.

ln fact, this is the perfect

setting for my little plan.

You see, l know you know that

there's a very important reason...

why l wanted to have dinner

with you tonight.

l didn't realize that

at all, no.

Veronica, this last week

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