Mexican Hayride

---

American police.

Right.

We're working with

the local authorities...

to keep undesirable

characters out of Mexico.

We're after a confidence man

named Joe Bascom.

I should be glad to assist you. Thanks.

Keep your eyes open

for a pudgy guy...

who looks as if he were

apologizing for something.

Dark complexion,

5'5" and fat.

That description

fits many men.

How would I know him? That's our

trouble. We don't know him either.

How do you know he's here?

We traced him from El Paso.

He won a dance

marathon contest.

Used the prize money

to get here.

He danced the samba for 68 hours

straight... still goofy from it too.

Please,

don't whistle the samba.

Thank you.

Please! I asked you not to whistle

that tune. Don't do it anymore!

Bullfight. Come on.

Hey, look!

That must be Bascom!

So that's Montana! She's

beautiful. Clever too.

I took that kid from

a small-time rodeo...

and built her up

to this.

No.

Oh, no. No!

It couldn't be.

What couldn't be, senor? Nothing. Nothing.

I thought I saw something

I hope I didn't see.

Excuse me

just a minute.

I can't find him,

boss.

He's got to be around here.

Come on. Let's go here.

Dale a tu hermano. Dame

el tajo grande a m. Huh?

Estoy hablando

a mi hijo.

No ms.

Dame el ajo.

Garlic.

Mmm. Muy bueno esto.

Esto est bueno.

Est bueno, verdad? No le

gusta a usted? Ah... ooo!

No sabe usted

lo que es bueno, hombre.

No sabe usted lo que es

bueno. Oh, no. Bueno, bueno.

Es lo mejor que hay

para el estmago.

Um... um...

iVa.! Qu tiene?

Est bueno esto, hombre.

Hablo... Hablo es...

I blow outta here.

I'll see you later.

I'm... gonna go now. Est bien. Adis.

Thank you.

Mama. Mama!

I'm sick, Mama.

You looked up there? I

looked all over that section.

Excuse me.

All right.

Bascom!

Excuse me.

What are you doing here in

Mexico? I'm lookin' for you!

And I'm gonna

stick around until...

you give back the money you stole

from my friends in Iowa. I stole?

You're the one the cops are

after. But you've got the money.

Shh. Do the cops know you're

here? The two guys chasing me.

I'm gonna tell 'em the truth

and then they're gonna get you.

Look, Joe, we'll talk

about the money later.

The most important thing,

don't get yourself arrested.

Go find an empty seat

and hide under it.

I'll see you after a

while. I guess I told him.

Adamson,

something's come up.

I've gotta have the dough right

away. Lambert, let's not be hasty.

Our agreement is, when Montana

chooses me to be the Amigo Americano,

I return the money for the silver

mine. If Gus is the Amigo Americano,

he can stick somebody

else with the mine.

It will sell like hotcakes!

Maybe five or six times!

Beat it before people think we're

framing it for me to be the Amigo.

iEl toro.! iEl toro.!

iEl toro.!

What are you doing here? You

told me to find an empty seat.

Sit down, sit down,

sit down.

What are you trying to do?

Ruin me? Me... ruin you? Hmph!

Who was it that told me

I had oil in my backyard?

Who was it that made me sell

that phony stock to my friends?

That ran away with the money?

That made Mary mad at me?

If you're getting tired of the "whos"

I got a "what" for you... on second base.

There's a guy gonna give me

the dough after the bullfight.

Sit still.

Quiet.

: Ol.!

: Ol.!

: Ol.!

Sit down! Who's the

Swede they're yellin' for?

What Swede?

Ole.

Play dead, will ya? "Play dead, will ya?"

: Ol.!

: Ol.!

: Ol.!

: Ol.!: Ol.!

Didn't I tell you to sit down?

I wanna see what Ole's doin'.

They're cheering Montana. That's

the way the Mexicans say "hurrah. "

Why don't they say "hooray"?

When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

How do the Romans say

"hooray"? Oh, skip it.

"Oh, skip it"?

That's sillier than "Ole. "

Oh, skip it. Ole.

Ole oh, skip it Shh.

I still like

"hooray. "

Will you keep quiet?

Hooray, hooray, hooray!

: Ol.!

: Ol.!

: Ol.!

Hooray!

What happened? Montana

just finished the bull.

I'm finished with your bull. Where's

the money? I'll have the money.

Friends, amigos.

As you've read in the newspapers

and heard over the radio,

today starts

Amigo Americano Week.

A citizen of the United States will be

selected as a representative American.

Hey, that voice

is very familiar.

For seven glorious days, he will

tour Mexico as an honored guest.

My hat will be

the key to Mexico.

The lucky American

who catches it...

will be the

Amigo Americano.

Hey, it's Ma...

No wonder you didn't want me

to see what was going on.

Why, you dirty crook!

Mary!

One...

two...

Mary?

- Mary!

- Joe Bascom. You...

iViva el Amigo Americano.!

Boys, put him down. There's

been a mistake. I'll say.

I figured it was a double cross

when you wanted the dough fast.

Gus... You've got as much

honor as that mine has silver.

Sell it to the fat chump.

He hasn't got a quarter.

Neither have you.

Things are not cooking so

good, are they, Harry? Awful.

If Gus was made

the Amigo Americano,

you could use the position

to sell the silver mine.

Why don't we get the cute amigo

to sell the mine? It won't work.

Bascom's too stupid

and too honest.

But we're not too stupid

and we're not too honest.

Put me down!

I demand a fair trial.

I'm innocent, I tell you.

Senor, you just have

been made Amigo Americano.

That's one rap

you'll never pin on me.

I'll wire my American consul,

my congressman!

Put me down!

Get me down.

The very idea!

Huh!

Oh!

Will you come quietly, Bascom? Bascom?

My name is Fish, Humphrey

Fish. Why did you run away?

Why were you chasing me? Because

you ran away. Why'd you run?

Because you were chasing me. Just a minute.

You made a mistake.

I happen to know Mr., um... Fish.

I'd rather call myself a crook. So would I.

Who are you? That's Mr. Harry Lambert.

He goes wherever I go,

don't you, Mr. Lambert?

We think he's Joe Bascom. You swear he's

Humphrey Fish? Got a picture of Bascom?

No. He took it on the lam

before he could be mugged.

That's Humphrey Fish.

Release him immediately.

Something wrong, Mr.

Lambert? Yes, Mr. Winthrop.

These men think my pal, Humphrey

Fish, is Joe Bascom, a fugitive.

A case of mistaken identity.

That's a lot of malarkey.

This guy adds up toJoe Bascom.

Bascom is short and dumpy.

Like you? Like me. And

he's got a roly-poly face.

Like you? Like me! And he's

got short, fat, stumpy legs.

Like you?

Yeah, like me!

Arrest that man!

Let's go, boys.

iViva el Amigo Americano.!

Hold it.

That's wonderful.

Girls, how about

a little kiss, a smile?

Hold it, hold it.

Thank you, senoritas, senor.

And I want

to thank you, senor.

Girls, thank you for having

your picture taken with me.

Do not thank us. We are with the

compliments of the chamber of commerce.

We are your

ladies-in-waiting.

Senor, es un placer

estar con usted.

This kid I can

never understand.

It would be bad publicity

if you were to get lonesome.

Senor, queremos que

su visita aqu sea muy feliz.

Muy feliz. iMuy feliz.!

I'm lost again.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes