Mexican Hayride Page #2

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Mr. Fish, I'm waiting

for my interview!

I forgot all about you.

Excuse me, girls.

On behalf of the Amalgamated Press,

I'd like to ask a few questions.

How do you feel about

this responsibility...

in making you the Amigo

Americano? Well, it's...

You are all alike.

Would you say the

relationship exemplified...

by your lackadaisical

efforts to promote goodwill...

could possibly accomplish anything? Well...

You sound

like an egotist.

Why do you attempt to use

polysyllabic conversation...

when your intelligence

quotient is minus nil?

Stick to words of one syllable.

Do you know what a syllable is?

What's a syllable? Are you

sure you know? A syllable...

Give me your definition. Go

ahead. Take it easy. A s...

One word at a time.

You're sure you know?

Don't get excited.

Will you get out!

Tell the girls

so the girls will know.

What's a syllable?

Don't rush yourself.

I want the girls to know

you're a smart man.

What's a syllable exactly? A syllable is...

You're sure you know

what a syllable is?

Give a simple explanation. If you

give it to me it's bound to be simple.

What is a syllable?

You don't mind if I get a word in here,

do you? Go ahead. I'm getting hoarse.

A syllable is a sound.

How is the sound formed?

It's formed by letters placed in

juxtaposition one to the other.

See what I mean?

No, I'm telling you.

How many letters in the alphabet? About...

Not about. There's a definite

number. New rules, huh?

No, there's always been

a definite number.

Are they all alike? Nooo. Nooo.

I got that one in.

Of course!

There are consonants and vowels.

Can you name the consonants?

North America, South America,

Paterson, New Jersey.

No, the consonants are 21

in number and five vowels.

Twenty-eight? I was

close. No. Twenty-six.

What do you form?

Syllables.

Syllables form words,

words form sentences.

Then people talk or do what you've

been doing. What have I been doing?

Making a fool of yourself.

Trying to attack me, hey? Look!

After I treat you like a

gentleman, you get antagonistic.

I dare you to hit me

once more!

Oh, using both hands.

You ought to be ashamed.

Oh, trying to pull a knife.

Let me give you advice.

When a reporter asks you for an

interview, don't talk so much!

Me and

my big mouth.

We'd rather have a cute one

than a smart one.

Sit down, amigo.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

Come right in.

Senor, we are going to

show you the sights. Wow!

We will try to make your

stay a pleasant one. Wow!

Mary! I'm sorry. I

didn't know you were busy.

Don't go, Mary. Girls, do

your waitin' on the outside.

Go ahead. Vamos.

Andale, andale.

I'll see ya.

Mary, please don't believe

what you just saw.

When I was with them,

I was thinking of you.

Gosh, I'm glad you've

come to see me. Really?

I didn't think you'd be

anxious to see me again,

Mr. Joe Bascom,

alias Humphrey Fish!

Mary? Stop calling me Mary!

Here I'm known as Montana.

But Mary's such a grand

old name. Then you use it!

Me use it.

Mary Fish.

That don't sound good.

The guys... Oh, that's silly.

Oh, stop it!

I'm sorry.

Mary?

Mary, if you

didn't like me,

why did you make me the Amigo

Americano? That was an accident.

When I saw you, I got so mad

I had to throw something!

And I thought you liked me. I like you.

Then will you please do me

a favor and get out of Mexico?

Joe, if you're arrested and they find

out I knew you, I'm in an awful mess.

Excuse me, please.

I'm sorry. I got

better manners than that.

Mr. Fish? I'm David

Winthrop from the embassy.

Come right in. Thank

you. I just dropped by...

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to intrude.

I didn't know you knew each

other. This is Mar... Miss Montana.

Yes, I know.

How do you do?

I just came up to congratulate

the Amigo. I was just leaving.

Please don't go. I'd like to talk

to you. I'll only be a moment.

I dropped by to point out

that during your tour...

you will be an ambassador

of the United States.

Me an ambassador?

Uh-huh.

I'm only a little boy!

An ambassador of goodwill.

Your every move

will be watched.

The embassy didn't want

the tour to be a strain...

so we've taken the liberty of preparing

your speeches. Here's the one for Taxco.

Mr. Fish, do you think you can

deliver a speech? And why not?

I used to deliver newspapers

and they're heavier than this.

Shall we go,

Mr. Winthrop?

Allow me!

If there's anything else you want

to know, check with Mr. Lambert.

Unfortunately,

I can't locate him.

He's probably all tied up.

Good-bye.

Wait a minute.!

Ambassador.

Oh!

Harry, do you think there's any

future in me being an ambassador?

Oh.!

I forgot.

Why didn't you tell me

you were goin' on a tour?

How could I say anything?

You had me hogtied!

What's the idea? I just wanted

to make sure that you hang around.

If I get pinched, I want to

make sure the cops get you too.

Wait a minute,

you birdbrain!

Thanks to me, they think

you're Humphrey Fish.

Before they can arrest you, they've

got to prove that you'reJoe Bascom.

I'm not gonna tell 'em.

Furthermore, just who

is this guyJoe Bascom?

You'll find out soon enough.

How am I gonna find out?

Look at here.

"J.B."

Did you ever see "Fish"

spelled with a "B"? Barracuda.

Don't give me that

barracuda!

That's expensive. Wait a minute. "J.B."

You can't show

those initials.

Why can't I?

You can't afford to.

You're Fish now, notJ.B. I'm Fish?

Let me see the inside

of your coat.

"J.B."

Take that coat off.

You want to get us in

trouble? Don't get so rough.

Look at this...

on the pocket, "J.B."

Wait. Have you got your

initials on your watch? No, sir.

That's fine. I got my full name on it.

Your full name? Can you

imagine that? Joe Bascom.

Don't break the watch. You

want to get us in trouble?

Harry, don't!

Get this.

"J.B." On your belt.

Take it off.

You can't haveJ.B. anywhere.

You want to expose us?

Take it off! Don't take...

Take the pants...

Now I got everything

with the initials J.B. on it.

Harry, I'm not sure, but it's

worth a look. What's the matter?

"J.B."J.B.!

Take it off!

Come on. Get it off.

We can't take any chances.

Leave the arms on, Harry.

Never mind the arms.

Get out of my way. Hurry

up before anyone comes in.

I don't know what

you're excited about.

Ah viene

el senor americano.

A gift for the

senor americano.

Gracias.

That means thank you.

La canasta ms bonita

en todo Mxico. S, senor.

Look, a gift for

the senor americano.

Ah, gracias, gracias.

Harry, hold this.

Now what?

Ah, senor,

a gift for mi Amigo Americano.

Gracias, gracias.

De nada.

Everybody's giving

me gifts.

I too have a present

for the Amigo.

No, lady.

I only wanted to give him

this gift from my people.

Come on.

That's wonderful. Es usted pintor?

Gusta usted pintar a la senorita?

You'd like to paint?

Oh, I'd love to.

Andele, pues.

Thank you.

Pase usted.

Thank you, sir.

Here.

iNo, no, no, no.!

iA la senorita.!

Lo que ha pintado.

Humphrey.!

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