Mexican Hayride Page #3

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Stay with us.

You're all with the Amigo? Certainly!

For the senorita,

it is the best Taxco silver.

Thank you!

For you, a beautiful bracelet. Thank you.

That's wonderful!

That is pretty.

What wonderful craftsmen

they have in this country.

A short time ago, that was

just a hunk of silver ore.

Silver or what?

Silver ore!

It's gotta be

silver or something.

That's been lying in the ground

for thousands of years.

They dig it up and smelt it. In

the ground? No wonder it smells.

I wouldn't dig it up. I'd

dig it deeper. Down, down!

Put a pole and

stick it down in the dirt.

He's trying to tell you

that the ore is smelted.

What kind of

English is that?

Smelted means

smelted by a smelter.

When a smelter melts...

it smelts.

Does that penetrate? I'm

getting a whiff of it.

After it's smelted down,

it's made into beautiful

ornaments by a smith. By a Smith?

Couldn'tJones make it? Sure,

but he'd still be a smith.

How could Jones be a Smith? He's

gotta be a smith to make these.

Jones don't have to be a Smith. Definitely!

Why should Jones change his

name just to make these?

Didn't you ever go to school,

stupid? Yes. I come out the same way.

That's what I thought.

I used to go to school.

Look. You take a shovel

and go into the mine.

You locate the mother lode.

Then you strike the vein.

Just a minute. Don't go no further. Why?

Listen. I didn't mind it

when you told me...

a guy had to change his name from

Jones to Smith to make this stuff,

and when you said it was silver "or"...

and you refused to finish the sentence.

That goes

for you too!

I didn't mind any of that! Take it easy.

But when you said that I have to

go into a mine with a shovel...

and hit my mother in the vein

while she's carrying a load,

that is going too far!

iSenor.!

Oh, it's you.

Senor,

you did not comprend.

I have a gift.

This is an old secret

of my people.

We call it the

elixir of contentment.

Its fragrance

brings kindness.

Kindness brings

understanding.

Understanding

brings love.

With my people,

if a husband and wife...

or two sweethearts,

or friends quarrel,

they inhale the fragrance

and in one moment...

all is forgiven.

Ahhh.

Lady?

Does it

always work?

Always.

Vengan, children.

Humphrey, how many times have I

told you not to leave the party?

You know that's not fair!

I won't warn you again.

No matter, no matter...

Humphrey, did I raise my

voice to you? Yes, you did.

Please forgive me.

Hmm... I might!

I'm terribly sorry.

Come on, folks.

Come on, Humphrey.

Out to the car.

Amigo, Amigo.! This is

the car I told you about.

This is the automobile? S. Cmo no, entre.

For the Amigo Americano.

Come on in, Harry.

This is

my automobile.

Mr. Martinez tells me

this is a very expensive car.

500,000 pesos. That's

ridiculous. That's $100,000.

You know why? Because Mr. Gonzales,

the salesman, comes with the car.

Get the keys and let's get

going. "Get the keys... "

Come on! So I'll get the keys!

Mr. Gonzales, may I

have the keys please?

Thank you.

That's Mr. Gonzales.

Senores...

Oh, Harry,

I'll never get that speech.

Let me have my money

and go home.

I told you I'd have

your money in a day or so.

He can't get the money

if you don't make a speech.

All right.

Senor...

Excuse me.

Hello? It's for you. Thanks.

Hello?

It's for you.

Hello?

It's for you!

Hello?

Ah.

Who was it?

Wrong number.

Senor, cabal...

Please let Mr. Winthrop

make the speech.

Why worry? I've hired the

greatest elocution teacher.

He'll be here

to give you a lesson.

What do you worry for?

Did Abraham Lincoln worry when he

says his Gettysburg Address? Nah!

He says, "one score and...

" two score? No, no. Four.

This kid don't know the score

and she's trying to make a speech.

That must be him now.

Come right in. Good evening,

senor. I'm Professor Ganzmeyer.

My hat, my cane.

Your first elocution lesson

will be $10. Not me. Him.

For him it will be $20. What are

you doing with my cane and hat?

We'll have to hurry.

He's got to make a speech.

You cannot expect me to

teach him in one lesson.

He will know as much

in one lesson as 50.

Inmediatamente, senorita.

Prontsimo. Muy encantado de verla.

Not her! Him! Oh, too bad. Hold my gloves.

Let's see if you are equipped

for public speaking. Watch.

What are you doing

with my gloves?

Nose, uh-huh.

Mouth, uh-huh.

Larynx, uh-huh.

Diaphragm.

Oh, bueno.!

Very good tone

in the lower register.

Take a deep breath and

hold it for five minutes.

Five minutes? It's easy. Five minutes.

Call me in

five minutes.

You cheated, you blew out. I

had to blow out or I'd blow up!

Good speaking is a

matter of good breathing.

Inhale and then exhale.

Watch me. Like this.

Harry! Come back here, come back here.

I show it

to you again.

All beginning is difficult,

but you learn.

Inhale then exhale...

like this.

What happened? Oh, how do you

do? Never mind. The lesson.

How can I teach you to make a

speech when you do not listen to me?

Open your mouth. Stick

out your tongue, further!

It's all right on this side.

Now turn it over.

Now open your mouth wide

and say "aaaaaaaa. "

Say it.

Open your mouth wide

and say "aaaaaaaa. "

Say it!

Spit it out!

iAy, caramba.!

You don't breathe right!

Say it! How can I say it

with your hand over my mouth?

I would like

to see you inhale.

Look, hombre, I'll

teach you how to breathe.

Suck in the air like this.

And it goes through nose,

mouth, larynx, diaphragm.

Nose, mouth, larynx,

diaphragm.

Nose, mouth, larynx,

diaphragm. Please, please.

No, no, no!

Listen to the professor.

Never mind.

Your diaphragm, your chest.

Diaphragm, chest,

diaphragm, chest.

Are you ticklish? Only

around the fryin' pan.

Where is the speech?

The speech?

The speech.

I never did get to read the speech.

It's in my other coat. Well, get it.

I'll get it. Just a

minute. Stay right here.

How can I teach you to make a

speech when you do not listen?

You must breathe properly.

All breathing is difficult.

All I want you to do

is inhale, then exhale.

First, inhale.

No, no, no.

Listen to the professor.

Would you care for a drink? Gracias, senor.

Really?

Is that it?

"Embassy of the United States. "

That's it.

Go on. Read.

Yes, sir.

"Mexico is the land

of golden opportunity.

Its ferteel valleys... "

Not ferteel.

Emphasize the "F."

Fertile!

"Mexico is the land

of golden opportunity.

Its fertile valleys and touring

mountains... " No, no, no.

Whoever heard of

touring mountains?

Its towering

mountains!

"Towering mountains...

and its abu...

abububub... "

Not abububub.!

Abundant.

What's the

next word?

Plains.!

How dare you!

I'm your elocution teacher.

I'm trying to make a living, and

you say plains... plains. I'm sorry.

I accept your apology. Let's

have some wine. Yes, sir.

Remember. In vino veritas:

"In wine is truth. "

Ah, ha-ha-ha.

Oh, ho-ho-ho.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this is a remarkable country.

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