Midnight Cowboy Page #13

INT. X FLAT - NIGHT

Joe and Ratso frozen, wrapped in blankets as...

... the canned heat dies with a faint puff...

... water dripping in the tub-sink freezes into an icicle...

... the candle burns down and out, leaving the screen dark.

EXT. CONDEMNED TENEMENTS - DAY

Joe and Ratso warm themselves on the smoke and steam rising

from a subway grating -- watching two officials in fur

collared coats inspect the front of their X flat building.

Reading their doom, Joe and Ratso, continue on, disappearing

into the subway.

EXT. FORTY-SECOND STREET - NIGHT

Joe stands alone, watching the midnight cowboys ply their

trade. Camera pulls back as Joe turns away and enters a store

front blood bank, offering ten dollars to blood donors.

INSERT:

A huge hypodermic fills the frame, sucking Joe's blood. O.S.

Ratso coughs uncontrollably.

INT. X FLAT - NIGHT

Ratso leans over the tub-sink, dry-heaving while he coughs,

wearing a sheepskin coat much too large for him. He controls

the cough with effort -- hearing the door open and close O.S.

-- wipes his mouth and turns to grin at...

... Joe, trying to light the empty Sterno can, deliberately

ignoring Ratso. Ratso shrugs, washes his mouth at the faucet,

finds a cigarette butt and lights it, careful to avoid

inhaling the first puff.

JOE:

Shee-it. Cough yourself inside out,

then light a fag, a goddam fag. You

make me puke. Where'd you steal it?

In the movies?

RATSO:

The coat? A guy I did a favor once

gave it to me. Christ.

JOE:

Who'd you ever do a favor for? You

just let some poor bastard freeze

to death, wouldn't you?

Joe slams ten dollars on the table. Ratso glances at Joe with

curious concern.

RATSO:

Where'd that come from?

JOE:

Forty-second Street. Where'n hell

you think it come from?

RATSO:

You wanna know the truth? You dumb

bastard, I got it for you. Look at

it. Goddam thing's ten sizes too

big for me.

Ratso pulls off the coat and throws it at Joe.

JOE:

Wear it yourself. I wouldn't put it

on my back.

Joe throws it back at Ratso.

RATSO:

Goddamned if I'll wear it!

Ratso hurls it in a corner. Joe shoves the ten at Ratso.

JOE:

Go get your medicine. Before you

die on my goddam, hands...

EXT. EAST RIVER BRIDGE - DAY

High angle -- Joe and Ratso cross an foot, chilled by wind,

neither wearing the sheepskin coat. The Queens riverfront and

factories appear cold and bleak, deserted on Sunday.

EXT. LONG ISLAND CEMETERIES - DAY

Camera moves into acres of tombstones, piled like low-rent

housing projects for the dead, the various faiths segregated

by crumbling boundaries.

JOE'S VOICE

Shee-it. I hate boneyards.

RATSO'S VOICE

So split. He ain't your goddam,

father.

EXT. PROTESTANT CEMETERY - DAY

Ratso leads Joe past a Negro family at a grave -- glances

around -- snatches an elaborate floral piece from a headstone

and hides it under his black raincoat as he darts toward a

low dividing wail and swings himself over into...

EXT. CATHOLIC CEMETERY - DAY

... an endless section of plain stone markers. Joe touches

his hat to two nuns, guiltily hurrying to overtake Ratso at

ibis father's grave, indistinguishable from the other graves

except for the name on the headstone. Ratso places the floral

piece on the grave with almost absurd solemnity. Joe laughs.

JOE:

Kee-rist, you sure are one twisty

little bastard, Ratso.

RATSO:

The name's Rico, at my own father's

grave, a man deserves some respect.

JOE:

Respect shee-it! You even steal

flowers for his grave.

RATSO:

Can he smell the difference, eh?

Joe reads from the ribbon on the floral display.

JOE:

Well, uh, he dam well know he ain't

'be-loved Aunt Winifred'.

RATSO:

He can't read. Even dumber than

you. Couldn't write his own name. X

-- that's what it ought to say

there on that goddam headstone. One

big lousy X like our flat.

Condemned. By order of City Hall.

Joe is frowning, standing at the,headstone, momentarily

depressed with an undefined sorrow.

JOE:

My Grammaw Sally Buck, she died

without letting me know.

EXT. SALLY BUCK'S BEAUTY SALON - DAY

Through the window, past the FOR RENT sign, the tarnishing

driers are lined up like tombstones.

EXT. JEWISH CEMETERY - DAY

Joe frowns, puzzled, as Ratso pulls out a black skullcap,

leading Joe toward a group of professional mourners,

whispering:

RATSO:

Just keep your hat on and cry a

little. They tip you when it's

over.

Joe and Ratso join the mourners as the funeral moves to the

grave, Ratso mouthing an authentic double-talk...

... Joe standing self-consciously, aware of the covert

glances of the other mourners, automatically reaching up to

remove his hat, remembering when Ratso elbows him in the

ribs...

... Joe scowling, tight-lipped, embarrassed by the tip that

is thrust in his hand.

INT. LUNCH COUNTER - EVENING

A weary Santa Claus, in a rented beard and over-large

costume, warms his hands over the steam of his coffee cup.

Joe and Ratso are arguing farther down the counter.

JOE:

Just ain't right, cheating someone

dead and can't cheat back.

In the background, as Ratso speaks, HANSEL and GRETEL

MACALBERTSON enter the lunch counter, inspecting the

customers one by one. Both wear black turtlenecks and jeans,

dressed as twins, both blond and pretty.

RATSO:

You and my old man. Same kinda

mind. Putting me down till the day

he died...

(mimics)

... why can't you be like your

brothers? Sons a father could be

proud of. Yeah, sure. My brothers.

Too goddam busy making something of

themselves to show up when the old

man's dying!

Conditioned reflex, Ratso starts to cough. Joe sees the

MacAlbertsons in the mirror, standing behind him, studying

him. Gretel nods, Hansel hands Joe a large black card,

smiling vaguely, then moves on.

RATSO (CONT'D)

What was that all about?

Joe studies the black card, frowning at first, suddenly

smiling, turning as if to call after the MacAlbertsons, but

they are disappearing around the corner. Joe hands the card

to Ratso.

JOE:

You wanna read something, read

this. I been invited somewhere.

Shocking pink letters on the black card read YOU ARE INVITED

TO HELP US BURY LOVE -- TONIGHT AT BROADWAY AND HARMONY LANE

- HANSEL AND GRETEL MACALBERTSON.

JOE (CONT'D)

They picked me. The only one in the

whole goddam place. You see how

they looked me over, up and down

before they give me that?

RATSO:

So?

Joe sees a young man washing cups behind the counter. Joe

shakes his head, wonderingly, turning to study himself in the

mirror.

JOE:

Well, this thought just struck me.

It wasn't too long ago I was

washing dishes way the hell

somewhere in Texas.

RATSO:

Yeah, well, so?

JOE:

Now I'm here. I'm in New York City.

Getting picked for things. Don't

you see what I'm driving at?

RATSO:

What you're driving at, you want me

to get lost so you can go to your

fancy-ass party.

JOE:

Did I say that? Did I?

(studies card)

It don't say nothing about you...

RATSO:

Don't say nothing about you either.

JOE:

But they picked me, right? So what

I'll do, I'll just say, now look,

you want me? Well, I don't go

nowhere without my buddy here.

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