Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil Page #2

Water the plants.

Squatting?

That's a vicious word.

You're not a lawyer, are you?

No. No.

Good. They're the scum of the earth.

And I should know...

...being an ex-barrister myself.

JOHN:

Ex?

Ceremoniously disbarred

not two years ago.

Had a little accounting snafu.

What do you do now?

Me and Mandy,

we're going to open a piano bar.

You already have one.

Looks that way, doesn't it?

Wait a minute.

Hold the music.

JOE:

Look.

Look at this.

Jerry Spence.

You have outdone yourself again.

That is a coif definitely befitting

your stature as the future ex...

...Mrs. Joe Odom.

Keep dreaming, darling.

JERRY:

You're in love.

She is one beautiful woman.

You two engaged?

Not yet.

It's getting late. I'm going to

hit the road. Nice meeting you.

No, wait a minute.

Joe's rule #2:

If you have to leave a party,

you always take a traveler.

I can live with that one.

Nice to meet you.

Hey, there.

Better to be on the edge of a party,

don't you think?

Thanks for inviting me.

Anytime.

Every time.

Earlier...

...how'd you know my name?

Welcome to Savannah.

Mr. John Kelso?

This is for you.

(JOHN OVER MACHINE) I'm not in. Leave

a message and I'll get back to you.

- Mr. Kelso?

- Yes.

I'm Lucille Wright.

I cater Mr. Williams' parties.

- Nice to meet you.

- He'll be down shortly.

Would you like to see what we'll serve?

Of course.

Come in.

Lots of fresh vegetables...

...hot bread...

...jumbo shrimp.

Let's see.

This is smoked ham and turkey.

JOHN:

Both.

LUCILLE:
A big fruit platter.

And this is a wonderful crab dish.

JOHN:

A bisque?

- Jeff Braswell.

- John Kelso.

- I shoot Jim's parties.

- Let's get a shot of the whole spread.

Town & Country

loves its pretty pictures.

LUCILLE:

And pumpkin cornbread.

Mr. Williams insists on

low-country cooking for his parties.

Oh, you're going to have fun tonight.

JIM:

Indeed he is, Lucille.

Good fit.

I have an eye for framing things.

Welcome to Mercer House, Mr. Kelso.

You have outdone yourself again

this year.

LUCILLE:

Well, thank you.

JIM:
I'm glad to see you.

Merry Christmas.

JIM:

Merry Christmas.

There you are. The man with the cigar.

So happy you're back.

Emma.

Did you watch my drink for me?

Merry Christmas.

JIM:
I thought you'd tried

to steal it from me.

- Senator, how are you?

- Great.

Merry Christmas to you.

So happy to have you here.

Look at you.

Welcome to Mercer House.

I think we have

quite a party going tonight.

Look at that niece of mine.

Come over here.

- How are you?

- John Kelso.

Oh, darling!

You look so pretty tonight.

I have one just like that at home.

I see our emerald bird has arrived.

Good to see you.

Handsome as ever.

- How are you, dear?

- I'm just fine.

Now who is that magnificent creature?

That is Serena Dawes.

Serena, you are

as gorgeous as ever.

I try.

Celebrated beauty in her day.

When her tycoon husband died, she

moved back to Savannah and created...

...sort of a museum to herself

in her boudoir.

I'll introduce you.

HARRY:
You look very nice.

SERENA:
Who are these people?

How lovely to see you out of bed.

Why, Jim,

I'd get out of bed for you anytime.

Harry was just about to show us

the latest addition to his arsenal.

You know what that is?

That is a.25.

My late husband blew his brains out

with one of those.

- So did mine.

- What?

I was fixing myself a drink and Gunsmoke

was on TV and I heard a shot.

I thought it was part of the show till

I walked in and Lyman was bleeding...

...sprawled in his favorite chair.

Everyone knew

our marriage was a disaster.

If I'd so much as touched that gun,

they'd have charged me with murder.

Yes, well, one day...

...I will shoot a man.

I may start with you. Or you.

- Is that loaded?

- Oh, yeah.

Which conversation shall we join?

The one least likely to involve gunfire.

Excuse me for a moment.

That's from Napoleon's

coronation carriage.

You have an impressive collection.

No, Mr. Kelso. Look around.

It's not a collection, it's my home.

- Faberg?

- I'm a minor enthusiast.

Minor?

Three eggs...

...a jewelry box and, I believe,

a gold-leaf album.

Nicholas himself would be lucky

to have so much Faberg.

Wouldn't he?

I admit to that.

Would you care

to see something a little more...

...unusual?

That'd be very nice.

Hello, Mother, darling.

- Are you enjoying yourself?

- I'm having a wonderful time.

John Kelso.

He's a writer, Mother.

This is what we call the ballroom.

JOHN:

Is this the prized relic?

JIM:

It's a very rare relic.

This is the dagger

that Prince Yussopov used...

...to murder Rasputin.

He sliced off

his cock and balls with it.

True story...

...and deliciously evil,

don't you think?

Delicious.

German Luger?

Be careful, it's loaded.

We've had burglaries.

Everybody's got loaded guns around here.

So tell me.

Has your family always collected?

That's a very genteel way of asking

if I come from old money.

- Do you?

- No.

I was born in Gordon, Georgia,

a little town outside of Macon.

My father was a barber,

sometime house builder.

My mother was a secretary.

What money I have is about 11 years old.

So, yes, I am...

...nouveau riche.

But then it's the riche that counts.

There's only 2 things

that interest me...

...work...

...and those trappings of aristocracy

that I find worthwhile.

The very things they're forced to sell

when the money runs out.

And it always runs out.

And then all they're left with...

...is their lovely manners.

F*** you, goddamn b*tch!

BILLY:

Wouldn't even let me in the house.

Had to come in the servants' entrance.

Excuse me for a minute?

We agreed you'd stay away tonight.

Don't give me that drag-ass sh*t.

I got stood up tonight, I'm pissed off.

Give me $20.

You get paid on Friday

like everyone else.

Give me $20.

- I need it to get f***ed up, is what.

- You've accomplished that, sport.

BILLY:

Give me the money.

I ain't even close to getting f***ed up

the way I want to get.

I'm not going to give you money

for liquor or marijuana...

...or whatever else you've invited...

F*** you, Jim!

You don't give me warnings!

I give them to you! I can back mine up.

And you, you piece of sh*t!

You better watch yourself.

F*** you.

That's Billy Hanson.

He works part-time in the shop...

...and can, on occasion,

be a very colorful character.

(DOGS BARK)

I don't know who hates me more,

the Atwells or their dogs.

Lon Atwell's been upset with me since I

had him removed from the museum board.

There's only one way to remedy this.

(ORGAN MUSIC)

JIM:

Thank you, Senator.

SENATOR:

It was a hell of a bash, Jim.

SENATOR:
You've outdone yourself.

WIFE:
Delightful.

WIFE:
We thoroughly enjoyed it.

Thanks for having us.

This...

You have my book.

You seem surprised.

JOHN:
It didn't exactly

fly off the bookshelves.

What a coincidence,

that I'd be assigned...

...to this story

and you'd have read my only book.

There are no coincidences.

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