Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil Page #5

Gee, thanks.

JOHN:

These are nice.

MAND Y:

You want to send some flowers?

I think so.

I don't know, though.

It's kind of complicated.

For whom?

What's she like?

I don't know her that well.

Roses are a favorite.

A bit presumptuous.

How about...

...poinsettias?

Perennials might

give the wrong impression.

- Too long-term?

- Yeah, it's hard to say.

This is complicated.

How about petunias?

They're pretty without

being presumptuous, smell nice...

...and in 3 days you throw them out.

Sound like what you're looking for?

Sorry, we're all out of petunias.

(ENGINE NOISE)

JOE:
Come on, get up, Lewis.

Get up.

JOE:

Get on up.

Good afternoon, Yankee John.

Joe!

That sounds like a dead battery.

Woman that owns the tour company

rear-ended me...

...so to speak.

Where we headed?

How about live entertainment?

JOE:

Get on up, Lewis.

JOE:

That's a good horse.

CHABLIS:

Hey, b*tch!

(ALL)

Hey, b*tch!

Let the house say it like you mean it.

Let the house say, "Hey, b*tch!"

(ALL)

Hey, b*tch!

Yes, I am a b*tch,

and proud of it, honey.

Your mama is just sweating. I'm putting

a sweating in front of you white folks.

But then again, I want you all to know

how hard a girl is working for you.

Excuse me, darling.

Excuse me.

Oh, my God!

"Oh, my God," nothing, honey.

"Oh, my empress" is what you should say.

Y'all been necking

since I walked out on stage.

Look, our Ivory Soap-using girl.

Love them kind of b*tches, baby.

Either he got some good old stuff,

girl, or you horny as hell.

Is this your boyfriend?

Your husband?

My husband.

What does Mr. Man do for a living?

He's a doctor.

A doctor?

You better grow you some nails, because

if he's a gynecologist, he's mine.

I am serious, honey.

He is mine. A doctor. Grow your nails,

I'm going to take him away from you.

Look at him just blushing.

You're so cute.

You want to give me a physical?

I have nothing to hide.

You better have American Express, baby.

But you know what?

That's okay about him.

Because the Doll has already got

some white boy...

...running after her good old stuff.

Spotlight, shine a spotlight over there.

Right over there.

You see that fine white man right there?

That one, there.

He has been running the Doll all

around Savannah trying to get some.

First day I met him,

he brought the girl roses.

Then again, as you well know...

...ain't nothing too good for the Doll.

Ain't nothing too good for the Lady.

I am serious about that.

If I catch any of you b*tches near him,

honey...

...I want you to know you'll have

to deal with the Lady Chablis...

...the Doll, the Grand Empress,

and my motherfucking ice pick.

So keep your hands off of that one.

CHABLIS:

Hey, honey love.

JOHN:

How are you, Doll?

CHABLIS:
I'm fine.

Who is that handsome man?

JOE:

Joe Odom.

CHABLIS:

Pleased to meet you.

My pleasure. We met before.

We slept together one night.

Narrow it down for the Doll. There

are certain nights I cannot remember.

That's another tale for another time.

My ice cubes are getting a bit dry.

I'll leave you two alone. Ma'am.

Thank you. I'll talk to you later,

you sentimental gentleman.

JOHN:

Hurry back.

Don't let him hurry back.

I need to spend time with you.

How are you?

I'm fine, honey. Still hiding my candy.

Want me to unwrap it for you?

- You don't have to.

- You sure?

Not yet.

I mean, not ever.

- It's a small little wrapper.

- Please.

Like a Tootsie Roll.

Some people don't need to see candy.

Okay, that's fine.

But I got something to tell you.

I got something to tell you.

I have boyfriend number four.

Really?

A tall, blond hunk of a hunk of man.

He's a mechanic on Abercorn Street.

Know where that is?

- I know where that is.

- Treats me like a queen.

No pun intended.

None whatsoever.

You must promise if you

ever meet him, which I doubt you will...

...if you should meet him,

you must never tell him my "T."

- He has no idea.

- Your "T"?

You know, my "T," my truth.

The hide-my-candy thing.

He doesn't know,

so you mustn't say anything.

- Promise me you won't.

- Don't you think he'll find out?

When I'm ready for him to find out,

he'll find out.

Like when I was ready for you

to find out.

But I wasn't looking for your candy.

But you was smelling for it.

- I did not smell your candy.

- Why are you here?

I want to interview you.

Your show was terrific.

Thank you.

You want to interview me?

Yes, very much so.

JOHN:

Sonny!

What happened?

They're trying to

put our friend away for life.

Your Honor...

...the community that put us both

in the positions we now hold...

...would be less than pleased with

an order allowing a wealthy defendant...

...in a first-degree murder case bail.

And they'd be right.

All right, gentlemen.

I have listened carefully

to these arguments.

Mr. Williams is charged

with a very violent crime...

...and Mr. Seiler, I can't grant bail

under these circumstances.

But I will put this case

on a fast track...

...for a speedy trial.

That's all.

Well, sport, looks like there might be

a book in this after all.

Does he have any idea

how serious this is?

You know it and I know it...

...and after tonight,

damn hell, so will he.

JIM:

What is it?

You told Sonny I heard Billy

threaten you the night you shot him.

I heard you threaten him too.

If I testify...

I didn't threaten him.

I warned him.

He had a history of violence.

He was drunk and high.

While trespassing,

he profanely demanded money...

...and brandished

a broken bottle in my face.

Is that not your recollection as well?

- More or less.

- Then your testimony can only help me.

What was it between the two of you?

We'll turn this off.

I don't mind that.

Was it just sex?

Tell me about the relationship.

Billy and I had a bond.

That's not something

they're going to understand.

They'll just see the sex...

...and the age difference.

But Billy was going to

make something of himself.

Great things, great people...

...can come from humble beginnings.

He needed what I gave him...

...and I needed what he gave me.

Now, do you wish

to pass judgement on that?

No.

I'm innocent, John.

It's important that you believe that.

Do you believe that?

Yes, I do.

I'm having trouble

getting anyone to talk to me.

I'll make some arrangements.

Tomorrow, can you bring

the Sotheby's and Christie's catalogues?

They serve dinner here at 7,

so that's when we'll make our calls.

Our calls?

(PHONE RINGS)

Yes, accept the charges, operator.

Jim.

How are you?

All right, sport,

let's give this a try, shall we?

Let's see if we can work this.

All right, it's ringing.

Hello, Jim Williams calling

for Geza von Habsburg.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Geza.

James!

How nice of you to call.

Would you be interested

in my Maximilian desk?

(PRISONER HOWLS ALOUD)

JIM:

Someone, ask him to be quiet.

It sounds like your dog

doesn't want to sell. What's his breed?

That's a Russian wolfhound.

Sounds more like a Shar-Pei.

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