Midnight Madness Page #4

And I'll be your tour guide | for this evening.

We're very pleased to have | you here at the Pabst brewery.

As soon as we're all here, | we can begin.

Now, is everyone ready to go?

[Carnival music playing]

Berle, look!

They must have gone that way!

Now, down below us | are the refrigeration tanks...

and each vat contains | 60.000 refreshing gallons...

of cold, foamy, delicious...

thirst-quenching | Pabst Blue Ribbon beer.

[Whimpering]

In these mighty vats...

its most delicious state.

This way, please.

Ha ha! Waa-hah!

Blaylak!

[Chuckles]

Hey, sir. | I said it's not for me...

it's for my brother | and his friends.

Hey, mellow out.

[Whistle blowing]

It's Scott!

What? Let me go! | [Grunting]

-I'll handle this. | -Let me go!

ADAM:
Hey, what's going on ?

Hold it a second! | Hey, wait a minute!

Excuse me, Officer...Palmer.

I'm sure | we can work this out.

You see, | that's my little brother.

-Oof! | -Ow!

Well, Scott. | I hope you're satisfied.

Now we'll never find the clue.

[Whirring]

Hey...look!

It's Leon.

It's the clue!

FLYNCH:
"Mr. Carson's | obese male child"?

What kind of clue is that?

Mr. Carson?

Mr. Cars--Who's Mr. Carson?

Johnny Carson?

Johnny's obese male child?

Hold it a second.

Johnny's obese male child!

-Johnie's... | -Fat boy!

Johnie's Fat Boy Burgers!

-Oh, yeah! | -It's on Wilshire Boulevard!

gonna fix that computer.

The other teams | are way ahead of us!

[Whistling]

We're never gonna win!

[Whistling]

Oops! [Crash]

Hey, Harold...

can I have the van | after your dad kills you?

[Music playing]

There they are.

[Giggling]

All right, that's enough | fooling around, you guys.

Let's go!

want to have any fun!

PEGGY:
Yeah!

-Hey. Blaylak! | -Hey!

Oh. Jeez.

-Blaylak? | -Blaylak!

-I don't see him. | -Come on!

[Clank]

Oof!

Pfft! Ha ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha! Ohh!

Gee, thanks, Candy. | Ha ha ha!

Wally, this is much more fun | than watching television.

It sure is, honey.

Isn't this better | than watching TV, Mother?

It's so exciting!

in our own apartment building!

[Banging on door]

Leon!

Leon, this has got to stop!

The walls here | are very, very thin!

You can't--Hi. Wally. | You cannot--Wally?

Hey, Jerry, | come on in and sit down.

You won't believe | what's going on in here.

[Wally laughing]

Ha ha ha!

Get yourself a stool.

and come on over here.

They're playing | this terrific game...

with all these teams...

and the teams keep going | from place to place.

-How many teams are there? | -Five!

I did it.

HAROLD:
Melio.

Melio, wake up.

Are there any cookies left?

No, Harold, | there aren't any cookies left!

Harold, you big, fat sneak!

I can't trust you | for five minutes!

It's a good thing you have | a good friend like Melio...

to help you stay on your diet!

BARF:
Hey, look!

[Tires squeal]

[Engine revs]

[Tires squeal]

[Giggling]

Oh, no!

[Whirring]

Hey, what's going on here?

[Clank]

Why. I'm a little elf...

and Santa says your truck | needs some work...

so I'm taking it back | to the North Pole.

[Laughing]

I know it!

That little snot!

and his team--so happy!

Come on, you guys. | I've got an idea.

[Splat]

[Laughing]

[Air hissing]

Think I'll just keep this | for a little souvenir.

Let's see how far | he gets on four flat tires...

and one gallon of gas. | [Snorts]

Just follow me! | I know exactly where we're--

Spread out!

[All talking]

WESLEY:
| It's gotta be in here some--

[Laughing]

Come on, you guys! | What are you waiting for?

[Laughing]

Ha ha ha!

[Clank]

[All overlapping]

HAROLD:
Let me see it!

-Hey! | -Whoa!

[Muzak playing]

"Look between | the two giant melons."

Damn you, Leon!

What I want to know...

is what does Leon mean | by "two giant melons"?

[Sighs] Now, let's go | over this one more time.

He said. "Look between | the two giant--"

I got a feeling | we're overlooking something.

What could | the two giant melons be?

[Dishes clatter]

Oh, miss? | Can we have some more coffee?

Miss! There's a cockroach | in my water!

[Crash]

Miss? | We had a little accident.

Oh, miss?

-Miss? | -Miss?

Miss!

Aah!

-Oh! | -Oh!

Whoo-hoo!

[Splash]

-The necklace! | -Yeah!

[Shouting]

Hurry! Come on, get it!

[Yelling]

Get off of me! Wait!

"Hug me"?

[Gasps] Harold!

What?

WESLEY:
Thanks! | Keep the change!

LUCILLE:
Buy me a doll!

What?

He reminds me of you, | honeybuns.

I'll call him Little Harold.

Lucille!

You big cheapskate!

Yeah!

[Sighs] One doll?

OK. "Hug me." "Hug me."

It might be scrambled. | What can we make of it?

-He mug! | -Gum he!

Mehug! Muheg! | Mehgu! Mughe!

Meguh, mhuge, meghu, mughe...

gumhe, gehmu, guhem, gehum...

hegmu, humeg, hugme, | hugem, hegum--

Wait a minute!

Say that last word again.

Hugem?

Hugem...

Huge M!

Huge M?

What's the one place | in this city...

that has a giant huge "M"?

Wait a minute!

There's a huge letter | "M" on the top...

of the sign at | Miniature Golf World!

-That's it! | -Ha ha ha!

I can't believe it! We got | all of that from "Hug me."

We'd better get going.

No...no!

Not my poor tires!

[Sobbing]

Who would do | such a rotten thing?

[Van rumbling]

[Screech]

Oh, my! What have we here?

Four flat tires?

Ohh, how unfortunate.

Hope this doesn't put you | out of the game.

Harold, you beached whale...

[Gasps] Oh, my goodness!

Are we losing our temper?

Ha ha ha!

[Tires squeal]

[Horn honks]

Adam, you all right?

Who, me?

I never felt better.

OK, now we can't let them | get away with this.

What we need is a plan.

We'll split up.

Marvin, go find a phone. | You call the Auto Club.

Flynch, you and I | will try to hitch a ride...

-to Miniature Golf World. | -Right!

Laura, will you watch the Jeep | until Marvin gets back?

Sure.

And please | keep an eye on Scott...

make sure he doesn't | get in any trouble?

LAURA:
OK!

Scott. did you hear that--

Scott?

There he is!

a taste for livin'

cold Blue Ribbon

Blaylak! Blaylak! | Are you all right?

Wait a sec!

I got a taste for livin'

This is the happiest day | of my life!

I've got Pabst Blue Ribbon

On my mind

[Snoring]

Well, ladies. I've certainly | enjoyed your company...

but I'm afraid it's time | for me to bid you...

good-bye!

Oh, have a nice walk!

Ha ha ha--Unh!

Come on!

[Gasps]

Let's go!

[Twins giggling]

[Yelling]

Scott!

Scott!

[Barking]

How you doing? Come on.

[Sighs]

Hey.

Some people are so mean.

How could they | lock him up like this?

It's the pits.

You shouldn't have | disappeared like that.

You really had me worried.

Your brother, too.

My brother? | Huh. Tell me about it.

Scott, Adam cares about you.

Yeah, sure he does.

He doesn't even know I exist.

Forgot all about my birthday.

When's your birthday?

Today.

[Crickets chirping]

[Sighs]

[Engine sputtering]

[Horns honking]

Look, there it is!

[Loud chatter]

Aah!

WALLY:
Look who's here!

Hi! How are you, everybody!

OK, everybody!

The odds on the green team | now are eight to one...

that they won't even finish.

Who wants to bet an exacta | on the first two teams...

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