Midnight Madness Page #5

to reach Miniature Golf World?

OK, thank you, Donna. | Good-bye.

Good-bye...is right.

Say good-bye to your | apartment, Mr. Wise Guy.

I told you if I had | one more complaint...

I'd use these eviction papers.

Well, there's the complaints...

and there's the door.

[Radios blaring]

Excuse me. | Mrs. Grimhouse, but...

Does anyone have | any complaints?

No. | [Murmuring]

[Sighs]

[Slam]

[Horns honking]

And I'm tired of making | poached eggs every morning.

their eggs scrambled...

but no...not you!

Let's stop | kidding ourselves, Flynch.

We might as well give up.

What?

I can't believe | what I just heard, Adam.

You give up?

You've been my inspiration.

What--what about having | a positive attitude?

What about never walking away | from a challenge?

Unh! Come on, | this is getting us nowhere.

Flynch, what are you doing?

[Horn honking]

Flynch!

[Tires screech]

[Radio playing]

[Giggling]

-Where you going? | -Miniature Golf World.

Sorry, we're not | going that way.

Don't worry. You'll love it.

-Whatever! | -Really!

[Girls laughing]

Over here!

"Play a round of golf.

"Somewhere you will | find the clue.

"No cheating. | You must play the entire round.

"Do not go directly | to the 18th hole."

Come on! | Let's go to the 18th hole!

You moron! | Can't you follow instructions?

Yeah.

Listen, you want to win, | don't you?

Now, come on!

Oh, well, guys, | we played a good game.

Even if we never did | find that clue.

I think I'm gonna be sick.

I'm gonna be sick!

Get him off of me!

I think I'm gonna be sick!

[Tires squealing]

Sh*t!

[Yelling]

Hey! Look who's here!

All right, men, | halftime's over.

We're back in the game!

Ha ha!

M-e-a-t M-a-c-h-i-n-e!

Meat Machine! Meat Machine!

-Yeah! | -Ha ha ha!

Come on, will you?

[Radio playing]

-Thanks! | -Sure!

[Talking]

...3599.

[Giggling]

Thank you, ladies.

-Sure! | -Bye.

-Bye! | -Bye-bye!

Like you said, | when it comes to women...

you have to have confidence.

[Sighs] Come on.

Give me some room!

Told you so.

Read it out loud.

[Laughing]

"Dear team. | I told you not to cheat.

"Now, if you want | to f-find the clue...

"you have to go back | and start all over.

"Love, Leon.

"P.S. You lost your ball."

-Get out of my way! | -Ha ha ha ha!

[Horn beeps]

Adam!

I--I thought | we'd never get here.

[Whispering] | Confidence.

I'm glad you did.

Leon says we have to play | a round of golf.

Don't forget. You have | to pay again, honeybuns.

Hey, Harold. Look over there.

Come on, Adam. You got it.

Good. Come on!

[Laughing]

[Children arguing]

Oh, great!

Hey!

Oh, Adam. | I've played this hole before.

There's three tunnels | up on the top.

Now, you don't want | to put it in the left one...

because the ball will | come out on the side.

If you put it down | the right one...

it goes down | this curved thing and--

Scott, will you | please be quiet?

I'm trying to concentrate.

[People arguing]

Hey!

Scott! Why do you persist | in making my life miserable?

Will you please | just stay out of my way?

Fore! Hoo hoo hoo!

Out of my way. Poindexter. | We're playing through.

All right, let's do it now.

Let's go!

[Yelling]

You got it! Ha ha ha!

-Come on, man! | -You got it now!

Blaylak! | That ball's in our way.

I'll get rid of it.

Hey, wait just a minute!

I object! | Is this the only way...

you slabs of meat | know how to handle anything?

Can't you guys | ever act civilized...

and work things out | on an intellectual level?

[Chuckling]

Hey, you know, fellas. | Wesley's absolutely right.

Yeah.

I mean, we should be | ashamed of ourselves.

[Snickers]

[Laughs]

Sir, may I have the floor?

[Chuckling]

The chair recognizes Armpit.

I move that we refer this matter | to another committee.

-Ha ha ha! | -All in favor?

-Aye! | -Aye!

Yee-haw!

-Ha ha ha! | -Mwah!

Aw, those guys!

[Yelling and whining]

Where the hell is that clue?

God, I wish there was | some way we could win!

-Hey! | -What?

You're two under par.

If you keep this up. | you get a free game.

You idiot.

[Cheering]

Come on, Lavitus! Send it down!

-Yeah! | -Whoo!

[Rattling]

Look at that!

-Wow! | -Yeah!

All right!

[Fanfare plays]

Got it!

-Yeah! | -Yeah!

[Cheering and yelling]

ALL:
Whoa!

All right!

[Tires squeal]

MARVIN:
What is it with Leon | and musical instruments?

First it's pianos | and now xylophones.

"Look at xylophones initially."

[Horn honks]

[Gasps] That's it!

What?

The secret to this clue | is the word "initially."

You have to look at the initials | of the words.

L.A.X.-- | that's the abbreviation...

for the L.A. | International Airport.

-Come on, Marvin. Let's go. | -But what about 5:30 A.M.?

We'll figure it out on the way!

[Engine sputtering]

MARVIN:
We're out of gas!

[Laughing and honking]

Hey, you guys, | stop following us!

That's not fair!

Aw, shove it, you big ape!

OK, guys, we gotta figure out | the rest of this clue.

Now, what's 5:
30 A.M. mean?

5:
30 in the morning?

Nah, it's only 2:30 now.

"Airport info, 5--"

Shut up, Barf, and help me | figure out the clue!

Of course, 5:
30 AM!

We found it, men! | Turn on your radios!

limited five-minute parking...

in the green zone.

near the west entrance--

[Static]

This is Leon!

running around in circles...

that the clue can be found...

in terminal number three.

now arriving from New York.

[Jingling]

Please, gentlemen, | accept our humble literature.

[Jingling]

Leave us alone! What's | the matter with you lunatics?

Please, take a brochure. | It is free.

[Jingling]

We don't want any | of your humble literature!

You guys better | get out of our way!

Stand back, men!

All right, we'll take one!

Come on, men!

Hello, Leon? This is Irving.

Your first team | was just by here.

Yeah. Bunch of skinny kids | with glasses.

How's everything | at Game Control?

[Whistles] Hi!

Nah. Nobody else | has shown up yet.

now arriving from New York.

[Grunts]

[Jingling] | Let's go!

Come on.

Blade, will you come on?

[Sighs]

Please, sir, | won't you accept our--

Get out of my way!

[Laughing]

Flight 713 now arriving...

OK, let's try splitting up.

Laura and I'll go this way, | you guys try that way.

Right.

[Sighs]

Adam, there's something | I want to talk to you about.

Yeah?

It's about your brother.

Adam, he's not such a bad kid | once you get to know him.

Scott? You haven't been | living with him...

for fifteen years | like I have.

All he ever does | is cause trouble...

and do things | he knows will make me mad.

That's just the point. | He's only doing all that...

so that you'll give him | some attention.

[Crash]

[Sighs]

[Men chanting "Hare Krishna"]

Get away, get away.

Please, sir, | won't you reconsider...

-Leave me alone! | -and accept our literature?

It is said. | "he who does not--"

I said, leave me alone, Kojak!

Boy, Harold, | have a cow, why don't you?

Hey, look, | it's a picture of Leon!

[Dramatic music playing]

[Girl screams]

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes