Mighty Aphrodite Page #2

forecloses on the mortgage.

I don't want to call this kid

Phineas. He's adorable.

- That's so great.

What-- What, uh-- Let me think.

- Well.

- What about Django?

- Django?

Django, yeah. After Django Reinhardt,

the great guitar player.

- Django Weinrib?

- That's the curse of the Weinrib name.

- It doesn't go with anything.

Nothing goes with Weinrib.

- Well, okay, okay.

What about something simple

like, you know, Ben?

- You want to call him Ben Weinrib?

- Yeah.

What, he's gonna be

a-a-a gin rummy champion?

- I mean, you know.

- Yeah, well, you want to deny

your heritage? Huh?

Well, you know, I-I just want

the kid to have a great name.

- Yeah.

- What about Sugar Ray Weinrib?

Holden,

after Holden Caulfield.

You see, Holden is one of those things

that works if we use your maiden name.

- If it's Holden Sloane,

but not Holden Weinrib.

- Yeah.

The kid is so cute!

I can't believe he's--

What about Cole?

- Cole?

- Cole Weinrib. Harpo Weinrib.

- Harpo? No.

- How about Earl the Pearl Weinrib?

- That would be so perfect.

- Oh, God! No.

- Okay, what-- what about Shane?

You like the name Shane?

- Yeah.

- Shane's pretty.

- Shane would be okay.

On the other hand, you wouldn't want

a Supreme Court Justice called Shane.

Oh, Jesus.

I got it. I got it.

Brilliant.

This is so brilliant.

- Got it? Ready? Are you ready?

- Mm-hmm.

- Thelonius Weinrib.

- Max! What about Max?

- Max?

- Yeah, Max.

Max.

Oh, look how cute he is.

- I wanna hold him. Max is okay.

- He's so sweet. He's smiling.

- Dr. Max Weinrib. I like the name Max.

- Yeah, Max is good.

- It's simple.

- How about Senator Max Weinrib?

- Little tongue.

- Rabbi Max-- Rabbi Max Weinrib?

No. Maybe we should

rethink Max for a minute.

- Oh, he's so great.

- He's happy. I think he likes us.

- He looks like you.

- He looks like me?

Yeah.

He looks like Broderick

Crawford a little bit.

- He's so smart.

- Yeah.

He picks up on everything.

He's got a great personality.

You know, you wake him up,

he's always smiling and upbeat.

- Like me.

- You were like that

when you were a baby.

- Yeah, he's so verbal.

- Well, he's around a writer...

and an art expert, right?

Listen, when are you going

to move the gallery downtown?

Yeah, Mother, we don't want to get

into that discussion 'cause, you know,

I think we should move and Lenny

is a devoted Upper East-sider.

Or shall I say is opposed

to change in any form?

- I don't know.

- It's unbelievable.

The kid is unbelievable. I got him

trains, he put 'em together himself.

Trains? I thought you

bought him an Erector Set.

I got him an Erector Set, yeah.

And-- And I also got him this tricycle.

- Wait. And the whole plastic kitchen?

- Max, I got you a tricycle.

Lenny, you can't

buy him so much.

- Max, I got you a tricycle.

- Look at that!

- You can't buy him so much stuff.

- No, no. I also got him skates.

- Skates?

Yeah. And I got a couple more things

on the way in, you know.

A small truck is gonna pull up

in front of the house.

- What are you gonna get next year?

- Does anyone want anything to drink?

- Go ahead. Shoot.

Try again.

You ever think about what you want

to be when you grow up, Max?

Hmm, I don't know.

Maybe an interior decorator.

- What?

- Just kidding, just kidding.

Well, don't kid.

Here. Come on.

Okay, those go in the bedroom.

Okay, you follow me.

- Give me a hand with this.

- Why did we move?

What do you mean,

"Why did we move?" I told you.

We moved 'cause-- 'cause, you know,

'cause your mother wanted to move.

'Cause, you know, the art gallery

she works at has moved downtown...

and, you know,

she wanted to move.

- Here's your football.

- Who's the boss between you and Mommy?

- What is the question?

- Who's the boss between you and Mommy?

Who is the boss?

You have to ask that?

- You don't know who the boss

is between me and Mommy?

- No.

I'm the boss, okay? Mommy--

Mommy's only the decision maker.

You know, there's a difference

between, uh--

You know, Mommy-- Mommy says

what we do and, and, uh,

I have control

of the channel changer.

- Here-- Here's your crayons.

- Thanks.

We're new in the neighborhood

and we want Max to be really

in the best school.

- Oh, but this is it.

- It's 'cause he's a very,

very bright kid.

- I mean, really bright.

- Yeah, he's really great.

Yes, I know. I saw his test scores

and they're wonderful.

- They are. Yeah.

- I know. And he's got

a great sense of humor.

- He's a sweet kid.

He's a really sweet kid.

- He's got a great personality.

Wonderful. Well, I wanted to talk

to you about a special program...

that we have

for bright students.

- Really? And he qualifies?

- Oh, yes. Absolutely.

- Sorry. Excuse me.

- Certainly.

- Because-- when you hear his syntax,

- Hello? Oh, hi.

- it's amazing.

- Verbal skills are telling.

- His vocabulary is good,

but his syntax is--

- Oh, great.

- He speaks like a grown-up.

- Sorry. Lenny?

- What we can do is--

- Sorry. Excuse me.

- Oh, certainly.

Can we meet the Dorians tonight

for dinner at Le Cirque?

The Dorians? No. Because we have

tickets to the Edward Albee play.

- Listen, I can't.

- We have to.

We've been waiting for so long.

You don't have to go,

but I really should go.

I, uh-- No.

- This will be the second time

this week we cancelled something.

- Go with Bud.

- Oh, okay.

- I don't want to go with Bud.

I'm not married to Bud.

Listen, go.

Can we not discuss it now?

Oh, my God!

That was embarrassing.

Well, just because I don't

want to have dinner yet again

with the world's dullest couple.

Yeah, well, someday they may

sponsor me for my own gallery.

- I said I'd go. I'm going with you.

- Yeah?

But we got tickets to a show.

It's a shame.

This time try and join in and don't

sit there like some zombie all night.

Hey, last time I joined in,

you got angry with me.

Yeah, 'cause we were discussing

the l.M. Pei Museum, not Muhammad Ali.

Well, my mind wandered.

I can't keep on those topics.

I just don't want to be the motor power

of the Bender Gallery forever.

I want the

Amanda Sloane Gallery.

Not Amanda Weinrib,

'cause there's a euphony problem.

Three, four, run.

Three, four, and break the ball.

- Play 88!

- I hope they don't play like this.

- 88! Ten-hut!

What's the matter?

You seem down.

- No, I'm fine.

- You're fine?

Something's on your mind,

Lenny.

Listen, last night I was

at one of those dinner parties again.

Amanda-- You know,

last week she took me to,

to Le Cirque with the Dorians.

And then last night it was

with the Grossbards on Park Avenue.

And then after that,

we were driving home...

and I don't know

what to say.

It was Saturday night, you know, and we

stopped for a light over on Park Avenue.

I looked out the window

and I see some guy and this pretty girl.

And, you know,

they're walking home and, you know,

the guy's carrying

the Sunday papers.

It looked like they were

having so much fun, you know.

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