Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth Page #8

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to use the word "gorilla"

concerning a black man, but

come on, guys, just look at him.

I'm gonna

leave it up to you.

Gorilla,

orangutan, baboon,

spider monkey, you pick.

It ain't on me, all right?

So this is what you never

knew about the fight.

You all knew about the altercation,

but this is what you didn't know...

Mitch was high on

some powerful sh*t

they gave him, like,

alien-like strength, all right?

Angel dust. Yeah, he was

high as a kite on angel dust.

I'm laying some beautiful

combinations on this brother, right.

I'm laying these

beautiful combin...

But, um,

he doesn't go down.

"Weebles wobble,

but they don't fall down. "

Remember that?

That's Mitch.

So I'm opening up on Mitch

and it's like the karate movie.

I'm moving...

and Mitch is not going...

but he's not going down.

And he's just going like this

and he's not going down.

Sh*t's not looking good for me,

so I have to resort

to my Bruce Lee

"Enter the Dragon,"

Regent Theatre

on Nostrand Avenue,

across the street from

the bank, roundhouse kick

on this motherf***er,

right?

You know that...

all right, but listen, right,

I see the people are very excited,

the expectation is all in the air.

Keep in mind, though, the kick

that you're about to witness now

is not gonna resemble

the kick from 1988, okay?

So Mitch comes, right...

so Mitch comes...

"F*** you, nigga!"

Boom!

Mitch is down again.

He's f***ing down.

He f***ing down

and he's not moving.

He's not getting up.

I got this driver/bodyguard

that's with me at the time,

but he's never with me

when the fight's going down.

"Yo, Mike, man, I think you

killed this motherf***er, man. "

And then...

of course I have to go back

to this Jewish etiquette sh*t.

I go, "F*** that sh*t, Tom.

It was inevitable this sh*t

was going down, man. "

And Tom goes,

"F*** that, Ike. Man, this nigga

gonna hit you with that lawsuit, man. "

And then this is back

to my Jewish etiquette sh*t.

"F***ing Tom, do you believe

there's a court in the f***ing land

that will believe

this f***ing baboon, man?

Are you f***ing crazy?"

But I'm really scared.

I'm talking that tough sh*t,

but I'm really scared.

I'm really scared.

And my mind says, "Please,

I hope this nigga moves. "

And then this "Night of the Living

Dead," Jason, Michael Myers...

he pops up and he says,

"F*** you, f*ggot!"

and hits me in the balls.

I went "Ugh!"

And then I said,

"F*** that Bruce Lee sh*t,

it's time for WWE,

Bruno Sammartino...

and it's...

( yelling )

And I was gonna bite

this motherf***er, right,

but, um, not this

dirty motherf***er.

'Cause I'll bite a motherf***er

before God gets the news, right,

but he had that green sh*t and

grey sh*t coming with his blood.

I didn't wanna catch

the "West Nine"...

I mean,

West Nile virus.

- Sh*t.

- West nine?

I'm walking to

my yellow canary

convertible Rolls-Royce.

350, 350,000... Puffy

didn't have 350 back then.

He does now.

He didn't have it back then.

I get in the car and Tom's

in the car and I say...

I've still got my Jewish

etiquette with me, though...

I got Jew etiquette,

so I go,

"Tom, um...

will you please be...

will you please, um,

pursue the road

to the emergency room

because I believe

I have a hairline fracture. "

And Tom goes, "F***, man!

You crazy motherf***er!

Mitch is on the back of the car!

Mitch is on the wheel!"

And this is not a lie,

he woke up again.

He... I don't know how...

he woke up, he's on the back

of my car and he's on the wheel

and he's,

"F*** you, f*ggot!

You f*ggot!

I'm going to kill you, homo!"

So he's back there...

he does an alien-like leap

and he disappears.

He goes up and disappears. Me and

Tom are like, "Oh, sh*t! F***!"

And comes down and we're

scared to get out of the car.

And he comes down

on my side view mirror

and rips it off.

I said,

"That's 30 Gs. "

It has to be 30 Gs

if the car's 350.

350,000,

it has to be 30 Gs.

And I'm saying to myself,

"F***,"

but I'm still in Jewish etiquette

mode, but I'm mad as a motherf***er.

And I say... I say,

"Tom, will you be kind enough

to wait here patiently as I

go outside and confront Mitch

about this motherfucking

side view mirror?"

And I come out the car

like this.

And I jump and I grab

this motherf***er

and I just reel in

that Jheri...

I'm reeling in...

excuse me,

I'm from Brownsville.

You know we got the lisp.

"Jheri curl. "

I'm reeling in

the Jheri curl...

I'm reeling in

the Jheri curl

and then the proverbial

Ralph Kramden...

boom, zoom,

to the motherfucking moon.

Boom!

( sound effect whistles )

I'm waiting.

Boom!

Mitch is down again, right?

Sometimes you hit

your head once... boom!

On the concrete... on the

floor 'cause you had a fight...

boom... sometimes...

boom, you're dead.

Motherf***er

ain't breathing,

but this is something

that is really uncanny.

Sometimes you hear the... boom! And

then it bounce up and hit again. Boom!

And then he wakes up and

he starts throwing punches.

I don't know why,

but it always happens that way.

You hit it twice,

you get up.

But when Mitch came down,

he just did one... boom!

And the breath

from his air came up

and he sh*t on himself

a little, right?

And my mother

always told me that...

ah... that's your soul

going to Jesus.

I had to do

my Jewish/Brooklyn...

"See, Mitch, I told you.

This was going to be f***ing

detrimental to your health.

Now you forced me to put

a sign in your eye that says,

'Closed for

the f***ing season. '"

This again, this wouldn't be the

last time I see this motherf***er.

I'm in Harlem now

with this Afrocentric sister.

You know, who always...

Sister Egypt is her name...

with the turban

on the head.

The flowing dress.

Likes to be very conservative.

Don't want to show

the curves and stuff.

But when she moves,

her body would, too.

She just couldn't help it.

Excuse me.

Thank you, Gwen.

You remember...

it was like '88...

the way Harlem is now,

they got, you know, linen

cloths outside on tables.

You eat outside now.

But they tried... this is

like the prototype before...

to see if the sh*t

was gonna work.

I'm sitting at the table

and from the side

of my eye,

I see this big guy

with some big hair on a bike.

Not a Harley-Davidson or a

Ducati, but a bike, and no shirt.

This sh*t just

don't look right.

So I turn,

it's f***ing Mitch Green.

Mitch Green's

around 6'5"/6'6",

but with his hair...

the hair's like 6'12"/7-foot,

you pick.

Anyway, he's on a bike going,

"One, two, woomp. "

And I'm saying to myself,

"Mitch is here. "

And I'm saying,

"If he goes here... "

just like if the cops

are looking for you

and you can't move right quick 'cause

they'll spot you if you get up...

I said, "If Mitch go here,

he'll go by that block,

and I know

he'll be gone. "

But he doesn't,

he gets here and he looks

and his eye

catches my eye.

And he's not sure if it's me,

but he went like this.

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