Milf
- UNRATED
- Year:
- 2010
- 88 min
- 1,380 Views
Did you get a good look
up there?
Uh...what?
You were checking out
my ass.
Uh...I wasn't--
You're in
my econ class, right?
I'm going to tell everyone
what a creep you are.
No.
Dick.
No. No.
What the heck
is wrong with you?
Aah! D*ckhead!
[Cell phone rings]
Well, what's up,
dickface?
Look, Im headed
into econ class.
I'm telling you, blow it
off, you big nerd.
Spend the afternoon
with me and Lori.
Lori is my mom, dude,
and i can't miss econ again,
It's the only professor
i have the takes attendance.
Dude, stop calling
my mom Lori.
Relax.
I'm almost there.
She's single.
I'm allowed.
That's my mom.
What? We're
in college now.
I am now officially
one year older
Than she was
when she birthed you.
You don't call adults you've
known your entire life
It's that lack
of sophistication
That's keeping you from
getting laid, Brandon.
Look, dude, Im headed
into econ class now.
Just go get the booze and
don't talk to Lor--To my mom.
Please, Anthony, Im asking,
just focus, man.
We need to get the booze
for tonight's party.
Okay, Im here.
I will tell Lori
you said hello.
Ass. I'll
talk to you later.
Later.
[Knock knock knock]
Hey, lo--
Hi, Anthony.
Mrs. Murphy.
Where's Brandon?
Brandon
is at econ class,
And he wanted me
To pick up a few things
in the garage.
Yeah, come in.
Okay. Cool.
So how's your mom?
I heard what happened.
Is she all right?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's fine.
She's cool.
She just moved into
a new place.
And she's just enjoying
her new freedom.
I bet.
Well, Im going to be
seeing holly tonight.
She just needs to get over
that loneliness.
That's all.
Yeah.
You know where
the garage is.
I'm taking off,
Mrs. Murphy.
[Gasp]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
My towel!
Um, Mrs. Murphy...
where is he?
The party started
ages ago.
I don't know. He should
be back by now, though.
This sucks.
We can't dominate
this game properly
With three of us.
Yeah, well, if we had beer,
We could gain access
to the party.
If we gain access
to the party,
We gain access to
the p*ssy. [Laughs]
Hey, contact right!
Frag out!
Damn it!
Oh, come on.
Like you guys
Are going to get
anywhere at the party.
Returning fire!
Oh! Whatever.
Ross and i here read
a book the other day.
Oh, yeah.
It was pretty good stuff.
It was called
the mystery method.
We are gonna get laid
tonight, that's for sure.
Hey, skinny in the window.
Take 'em out.
To the right.
Mystery method?
Does that work?
Contact frag!
It's pretty
despicable stuff.
Doesn't go
with my game.
Hey, Brandon,
cover my six!
Aah! Oh, damn it!
Whatever.
Tell you what.
All i know is
It works a hell of a lot
better if they are drunk.
Ha ha ha!
Take that, newb!
It's about time,
Mr. Slow.
What happened, man?
I was just--
I just--
Traffic.
Yes!
What's in the box?
New camera gear.
Cameras? That'll be good
later on tonight
When i land a freshman
spinner on my dick.
Whoo! Ha ha ha.
No, you'll just break it.
Why didn't you just
get it sent here?
Because of him.
Brent the douchebag next door
would've taken it.
Okay nerds,
enough tech talk.
Let's go get
our sex on, eh?
A philosophy major, eh?
What are you going
to do with that?
Contemplate for hours
About what
a shitty idea it was
To become
a philosophy major? Yeah?
He just broke up with you?
I'm so sorry
to hear that.
I know.
And he's so mean.
You're so sweet
to listen to me.
Oh, thanks.
Randy?
Erica? I'm so glad
i found you!
I'm so sorry i was
such a jerk earlier.
Can you forgive me?
Oh, randy.
For, like, seven days.
It was so gross.
So anyway i was, like,
in the middle of the jungle,
Like, in Thailand,
And i was, like,
riding an elephant.
I was just, like,
so totally, like,
Scared and nervous, but,
like, at the same time
I was, like, so in awe
of the natural beauty
And i just
couldn't believe
It was, like, actually
happening, you know?
Hello?
Hello?
Okay. I'm gonna go.
No luck, huh, buddy?
Yeah, that kind
of night, i guess.
Well, Im going to
get a beer.
Nice chatting.
God, why is it
at all these parties,
Everyone just drinks all
How's this?
That's a good start.
A fool sees not the same tree
that a wise man sees.
Well, okay, there,
Mr. Blake.
I'm impressed.
With your choice
in microbrews, that is.
I'm Brandon.
Alex.
So, Alex, you're not from
around here, are you?
Wow. Really?
I'm sorry.
That was lame.
No, Brandon, Im not
from around here.
I'm from across campus.
That's a neat pattern.
Wow, look at that.
Oh, thanks.
I made it myself.
Really? That's awesome.
Hey!
Nothing but this gay
microbrew crap!
Where's my bud?
Bud!
Must be tough to
live life as a clich.
God.
Yeah. Uh...
you might want to...
come on! That is such
a weak move.
You can do better
than that.
You know, you might--
So, Brandon,
How did you become
such a connoisseur
Of beer and generic
pick-Up lines?
Yeah, yeah. Uh...
i watch a lot
of tits--Titles.
Movies, yeah.
Uh, more books than anything.
A lot of stuff in 'em.
It helps.
It helps me.
Oh, cool.
So...do you go
to school here?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, you nailed it.
I'm here.
Yeah, Im an econ major.
Economics. Same thing.
You know, small word.
It's loud in here.
Yeah. Wow!
I was thinking that, too.
'Cause i can't--
Did you say some--
I hear you,
but i don't know...
are you okay?
Yeah. I've got a credit card
in my name. Of course.
What?
Huh?
I said, are you okay?
Hey, Brando.
How's it going?
Hey, your tit's
hanging out.
Is that what
you were looking at?
You dog, you.
Come on, high five.
No, i wasn't--
Dick!
You're such an a**hole.
God!
All right, b*tches,
party on the roof!
Whoooo!
Come one, come all.
Single file line, ladies.
Don't push, don't shove,
don't fight much.
Speak forever under.
Whoa-Ho. Not so fast
there, broski.
soiree tonight, amigos.
Are you kidding me?
Well, i can check to see
If you gentleman
are on the guest list.
Hey, Wyatt! Are our favorite
freshman here on the guest list?
Oh, these knobheads?
Hell, no. People are trying
to get laid tonight, guys.
Oh! Looks like you guys
aren't on the list.
But you have fun night
Jerking off
on each other!
Ha ha ha ha!
On your way out.
Awesome.
That was just perfect.
Hey, guys,
Ive got an idea.
Why don't we all hang out
together tonight
And talk about how much
p*ssy we don't get, yeah?
Whoa. Brandon, you
should check this out.
This guy's
going to town.
Oh, really--Oh, look
at that--Going to town.
Whoa-Ho!
Breaking news.
Loose freshman
with shaved box
Getting railed
by frat meathead.
Is that big red?
No, it's a blonde,
a dirty, dirty blonde.
I'm pretty sure she's in
my physics class.
I'm pretty sure
She's not walking
to class tomorrow.
You know what? Screw it.
Let's just hang out
tonight, guys.
We have three bottles
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