Milk Money Page #4

- Mm-hmm.

Is this toad flax?

No, that's Impatiens capensis.

That's also known

as touch-me-not.

You guys,

I found a touch-me-not.

Untouched, unspoiled,

here in the middle

of suburban uniformity,

you can find...

a tiny wilderness.

Dad.

Brian, don't be an idiot.

Hey, Dad... whoa.

I need to talk to you

for a second.

I didn't know

he had a daughter.

I need you to fix my car.

I was planning on

fixing that after school.

I can't wait that long.

I mean, I need to leave town.

I've got to get out

of here right now.

T ell me about it, lady.

We all want

to get out of here.

Are you late for an appointment

with a client?

Are you a religious fanatic

or something?

No. Why?

Oh...

'cause you're just

the most understanding man

I've ever met.

Thank you.

Wow, look at this place.

What is this?

This is the...

T anapaya Wet Lands.

What's left of it.

This is the place that

you're trying to save?

Mm-hmm.

It's so beautiful.

You think so?

Yeah.

Why would anybody

want to ruin this?

Well...

Look...

A glossy ibis.

I watch a lot of

documentaries on TV.

You know, maybe I

don't have to leave.

I mean, it's so safe here and

nobody knows about this place.

Except you and me.

Just you and me.

And the 20 of us.

I'll be home by 4:00.

I could fix your car then.

Okay.

Can you manage on foot?

Yeah, I have this, this, um...

I have this old bike here.

Hey, hey, that's my bike.

Oh...

Bye.

It's her car. It's her car.

What are you doing?!

I'm taking a bath.

Why?

Well, because my boss

had his heart ripped out,

and some very bad people

are looking for me,

so I'm staying for a while.

I've seen The Brady Bunch,

nothing bad ever happens

to you people.

I told you.

You got to get rid of her,

she'll tell our parents.

If my dad finds out,

I am dead.

They don't even know

I lost my bike.

You guys, relax.

She's not going to tell.

She's my friend.

She's going to marry my dad.

Marry her? Marry her?

He can't marry her.

No one can marry her,

'cause when people get married

they tell everything.

She'll tell, she'll tell.

They all tell.

Kevin, listen to me.

If she tells,

we'll all say it's Frank.

Fine.

Brad.

You're wearing my Jacket.

I thought we bet

a billion zillion dollars.

We need to get

a few things straight.

Dad won't be home

till 4:
00- relax.

Look, here's the deal.

You can stay in my tree fort

and you can play in the house

only when Dad's at work.

No smoking,

no swearing, and no

letting Dad know

you're staying here.

And don't take

your clothes off for money.

Anything else?

Yeah, I need some help

with my homework.

What's the subject?

How long do you want me to wait?

Until you're more mature, Frank.

A sexual relationship

with a woman

is a very, very precious thing.

I was talking about dinner.

It's getting cold.

Oh... I knew that.

You ready?

Yeah.

Ready, set, go.

Ah, beat you.

Who was a faster eater,

you or Mom?

We never raced.

What kind of microwave

dinners did she like?

We cooked real food.

You miss real food?

How can I?

I've never eaten it.

All right, everybody,

I want you to sit down.

Okay, come on.

Let's get started. Time.

Sit down.

Do you believe he comes

to school with it on?

Frank, are you ready

to begin your report?

No, not yet.

Owen Meany Junior High.

Just a moment.

Miss Fetch,

please report to the office.

You have a phone call.

All right.

Frank, don't do anything

until I get back.

Of course.

Let's get started.

On what?

Started on what?

Hello.

Hello? Hello?

The line is dead.

This.. is a woman.

These... are her breasts.

They serve an important

biological function

in child-rearing

as both a food source,

and headrests.

Size and shape of breasts

may vary

from person to person,

but number

is constant:
one, two.

Please?

Whoa.

Children!

- Who wants me to go on?

- Children!

Unlock this door.

Now, I didn't want to do this,

but it's part of the assignment.

These... are the ovaries.

That's where the eggs are.

Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs...

Eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs,

eggs, eggs, eggs, eggs.

Each ovary is connected

to its very own Fallopian tube,

- which swings...

- Frank!

...which swings down

sort of like this,

like a little freeway.

I want this door open now!

Leading to...

the uterus-

about this size baby motel.

Just roughly... here.

What?

It tickles.

Oh, sorry.

Where was I?

The uterus.

Excuse me?

"This size baby motel. "

Oh, right, right.

Which brings us to...

intercourse.

Whoa!

May I have a volunteer

from the class?

Here's something;

what do you think?

Mmm...

Okay, how about this one?

This is nice.

I don't know.

I, I don't think that I,

I should wear her clothes.

V?

Yeah.

Is it true

there's a place

on a woman you can touch

to make her

completely insane?

Where did you hear that?

A magazine.

Um, well...

Don't count on it.

Okay.

How about this one?

Like it?

You know what I like about you?

Every time I think of you,

you appear.

Listen, if you're not

rushing off to see a client...

No.

Not in this dress.

Maybe we could have dinner

together.

- Yes.

- Really?

Yes. Yes.

Okay.

I'm just going to change, okay?

Yeah.

- Vicki?

- No.

- Valerie?

- No.

Virginia?

Hmm-mm.

West Virginia.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

He's changing right now.

I saw.

He's ironing like crazy.

What are you all dolled up for?

I'm not.

Are you coming with us?

Gross! I have my own life,

thank you very much.

Is that cologne

that you're wearing?

No.

Are you going on a date?

Nah. Just practicing.

What?

Being cool,

in case I run into Stacy.

Oh.

Do you have something

to give her?

Is that a rule?

No, but it should be.

I mean, girls and gifts-

it's kind of the same word.

Here, give her this.

I can't take this.

Why not?

I'm not giving this to anyone.

I'll keep it with me always.

Yeah?

Thanks.

You're welcome.

I never had time to be lonely.

You know, I had Frank

to take care of,

and I guess I buried myself

in my work.

Other than Frank, the wetlands

mean everything to me.

Yeah.

Oh, look, honey,

it's Frank's dad.

I wonder who that woman is.

She's a hooker.

Honey...!

I can't believe

I'm saying all this to you.

Why?

I'm normally not like this.

I'm not at ease with new people.

No? Neither am I.

- Really?

- Yeah,

and in my line of work,

that's a problem.

Well, how

do you deal with it?

Well, let's see.

When I'm with someone new,

I pretend like

I'm with someone that I love,

and that helps me

get through it.

Oh...!

I don't think I've ever met

a more dedicated teacher.

I don't think anyone's ever

looked at what I do that way.

Well, why not?

Just because you don't do it

in the classroom?

You know, you're an amazing man.

Right now... with me...

What?

Were you pretending?

Pretending?

That you're with someone else?

Someone you love?

No. I don't have to pretend

anything with you.

Mmm, Holly, isn't that

your little friend's dad?

Yeah.

I wonder who he's with?

It's his sister.

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