Miracle in the Rain Page #2

---

- I didn't encourage him, Mama.

- Please be nice.

- I've told you and I've told you...

- But he's nice.

- What do you know how nice they are?

Yes, nice, nice,

till they meet someone else.

Mama, I'm home now.

Now, you go and sit down.

We have a surprise for you.

Ruthie?

Ruthie?

I seem to be all out of shaving soap.

Is there any on the premises?

No.

Wait. Just a minute.

What are you doing?

You mustn't touch those things.

Mama, you sit down and rest.

The whole thing is advertising

and propaganda. Shaving, I mean.

The razor-blade people

made whiskers a social crime.

Bet there's not a dozen beards left

in our republic.

I don't know if these are any good.

- They're awfully old.

- Oh, thanks.

I couldn't do better

at the Waldorf-Astoria.

So I said to Aunt Sarah, "Auntie," I said,

"I'm not designed for farm work.

There's no call in me to wrestle

with the Tennessee soil."

That's Sarah Hugenon, my father's sister.

- A sort of cow-and-chicken tyrant.

- Here, I'll do that.

Almost six feet in her stockings

when she stoops to wearing them.

Chiefly at funerals. Chews tobacco too.

With a voice you can hear

halfway across the county.

She sounds very different.

She used to chase me through the house

swinging a broom over my head.

- She didn't.

- Yeah.

Never caught me, though.

She didn't want to.

- I'll wash, you wipe.

- Oh, no, I can do this afterwards.

No.

I can't tell you much about my folks.

I was too little to remember them

when they drowned.

What I remember most of

was my mother laughing.

Oh, she always laughed.

Aunt Sarah claims I take after her.

Same irresponsible type.

Your mother used to laugh?

Oh, that's wonderful.

Well, I'm bogging down on my saga.

Where was I?

- About Aunt Sarah and the farm.

- Oh, Aunt Sarah and the farm, yes.

So I said to Aunt Sarah one day,

"Auntie," I said:

"Every time I hear one of our cows moo,

she seems to be saying:

'Avaunt, Arthur.

This rustic life is not for you."'

So I avaunted.

Didn't Aunt Sarah

object to you going away?

She gave me $300 and ran me off the farm

as if I were a federal agent.

Act 2:
I am a journalist in Nashville.

Police card in pocket...

...unfinished manuscripts

in the hall bedroom...

...and owner of a set of Joseph Conrad.

Still wanna do the dishes by yourself?

- Well, I think I'd better.

- You win.

Sorry.

I hope it won't disturb you, Mrs. Wood,

if I hang around a while.

When do you have to leave?

I'll have to catch the 9:45 at Camp Shanks,

that haven for tired youths.

Oh, the rain is letting up.

That's too bad.

I always like rain.

But I'm gonna like it more than ever

for introducing us.

It's only a wrong number. It always is.

Hello? Who?

No, there's no one here

by that name. No.

- Who plays? You?

- No, it's my father's piano.

Nobody's touched it since he went away.

A long time, huh?

Yes, it's been a long time.

The idle music box

with a cobweb for a song.

Isn't that awful?

I started under Professor Mike o'Toole,

Nashville's favorite bartender.

- He liked ballad... Do you like ballads?

- Oh, yes.

I'm afraid it's a little out of tune.

You'll never tell it from my playing.

We'll sing together.

What songs do you know?

Oh, I don't know any songs.

Do you know what?

You remind me of a poem.

Arethusa arose

From her couch of snows

In the Acroceraunian mountains

You got any music?

I'm a pianist who needs notes, easy ones.

Well, there's some in the bench.

They're my father's.

He used to play in an orchestra,

pit band in the theater.

Is that so? Is this his?

Yes, he used to write songs too.

- No. Just the music, huh? No words.

- No.

Well, let's see what this sounds like.

- Is that the way it went?

- Oh, I really don't remember.

It's pretty good.

It's a good tune.

Do you mind if I smuggle this

into Camp Shanks?

I've got a buddy there in charge

of the band, a real professional.

Dixie Dooley by name.

He might help put a lyric to it.

- Do you mind?

- No, you could take it along with you.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Come on, sit down and we'll play.

I've got a whole hour.

But I'll tell you something.

I wish it was an hour and a half.

Hey, here's an old one Aunt Sarah

used to favor when she was in her cups.

I always liked rain.

But I'm gonna like it even more

for introducing us.

I'm terribly fond of rain

myself, Mr. Hugenon.

Are you really?

Oh, yes, it's utterly enchanting.

I'm very partial to snow too.

Isn't it wonderful

how beautiful nature can be?

That's because you have a poetical soul,

Miss Wood.

I suppose I have.

Because I'm terribly fond of sunsets

and things like that.

Sunrises, you know, and moonlights...

...and, of course, I adore the stars.

Stars and...

I don't know what you want me along for.

He certainly didn't ask to have me along.

- Well, I couldn't go with him alone.

- Why not?

Well, I don't know. I just couldn't.

I don't see how you can tell soldiers apart.

They all look alike.

Ruth, there's nobody to feed my birds.

Oh, you said yourself

it wouldn't hurt them. Please.

Well...

...there's no use

in breaking your neck looking.

He probably won't appear.

You know how soldiers are.

Hi, I got lost,

that's why I wasn't here ahead of time.

I'd like you to meet Miss Ullman.

Art Hugenon.

- I'm glad to meet you, Miss Ullman.

- How do you do?

Well, I guess I better be running along.

Nothing doing. I got three tickets.

I don't wanna waste one.

- You didn't know.

- I know everything.

Come on, the theater's one block north

and turn two to the left.

- Oh, Grace, look, there she is.

- Oh, yes, she was very good.

This is where he comes back.

Remember his friend, Bumpy?

He said, "I'm so hungry,

I could eat a horse."

And the waiter brought the horse.

I nearly died.

- Ladies, looking for somebody?

- Oh, thank you, Mr. Hugenon.

- I've had a lovely time.

- I enjoyed it very much.

Well, shall we?

This is the wrong way.

I go in that direction.

- What for?

- So I can take the subway.

It takes me out

blocks from my home.

I go this way. It's been

a very great pleasure, Mr. Hugenon.

- Goodbye, Ruth.

- You can't cut and run like this.

The sun isn't even down yet.

We've got a whole evening

till the clock strikes 9:45.

- Well, my mother's waiting.

- A few hours won't matter, will they?

I've reserved a table in a restaurant

that Dixie Dooley says is the best.

And what's more,

I'm so hungry, I could eat a horse.

I have 70 to 120. I have 70 to 120.

Eighteen dollars, anybody?

All done.

Sold for $17.

Madam, you've got yourself a bargain.

- Those auctions, I wouldn't go near them.

- I've never been to an auction.

There's no real danger.

Come on in, it's fun.

- Come right in.

- Oxblood vases.

Imported from the palaces of China.

Do I hear $50?

All right.

We'll start the bidding with $25.

Who will bid 25 for these treasures

out of the Ming dynasty of China?

Twenty-five, anybody?

Twenty-five. All done.

Sam, put these genuine oxblood vases

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes