Miracle Mile

I never really saw

the big picture before...

not until today.

Love can sure

spin your head around.

God, where do you begin?

The universe was created

fifteen billion years ago...

in a tremendous burst

of pure energy.

The matter spreading

from this big bang...

became the galaxies.

Our sun and planets

were formed...

from swirling clouds

of star stuff...

over five billion years ago.

It took billions more years...

for the first life

to be created...

in the primordial stew

of earth's atmosphere.

Life slowly evolved.

One-celled organisms

learned to reproduce...

and became more complex.

At first

clinging to the ocean floor...

then developing locomotion

and sight.

Hundreds of millions

of years ago...

our primitive ancestors

crawled up on the shore.

Amphibians

gave way to reptiles...

who ruled the earth

for millions of years.

Then came warm-blooded mammals.

Man evolved

in the last few million years.

It took

tens of thousands of years...

for civilization as we know it

to reach the modern era.

And it took thirty years...

for Harry Washello

to find the right girl.

You guys better

brush your teeth...

or that could be you

in ten thousand years.

You guys want to put

a dollar in here?

OK. Here you go.

One for each of us.

Just take it and put it

in the kitty's nice little... ow!

...from the ice.

They cut off a piece of it...

and they thawed it out,

cooked it up, and they ate it.

Yeah, I know. They made

this frozen woolly mammoth stew.

This is my field trip,

young man.

That's five even. Yeah?

I don't need a bag. Thank you.

My one in a million girl,

and I let her slip away.

I felt so bad I could've

jumped into the Tar Pits.

I thought

I'd never see her again.

Fate is a funny thing.

We must've been meant

to be together, Julie and I.

They're so cramped.

I can't eat these guys.

I guess we're going to have

to take all of them, but to go.

I'd like you to fly them back

to Maine and set them free, OK?

- How much would that cost?

- Twelve hundred bucks.

Twelve hundred dollars?

I think I've always been

a romantic kind of guy.

I just never had someone

to be romantic with before.

It was just like

it's supposed to be.

I mean, for me to find a girl

my age who actually knows...

who Dicky Wells

and Vernon Brown were...

there has to be

a cosmic plan of some sort.

Tell me that they aren't bad.

She's a very hip girl,

but a little old-fashioned.

The way she brought

her grandfather Ivan...

to see me play...

like that trolley

we toured the Miracle Mile in...

it's just a little out of time.

I think it's time for a change.

Maybe I should stop trying

to be the king...

of the Glenn Miller

impersonators...

take a teaching gig around here

at some junior high...

see if there's a vacancy

in Julie's building.

A lot of yuppies moving into

Park La Brea these days.

I've been here

thirty-five years.

Which building

do you guys live in?

I live over there,

and, Julie, she lives...

I live in another one.

Oh, can I buy you kids

a tube steak?

- Not for me.

- Well, yeah, sure.

A little mustard

and some sauerkraut?

- Got it.

- Great.

Too bad you have to leave town.

Ohh, it's too bad

you have to work tonight.

Only until midnight.

Well, I'm game.

Do you like to dance?

No. I love to dance.

Don't be embarrassed, hon.

Give me an intro.

Harry Washello.

Lucy Peters,

Julie's grandmother.

- You play slide trombone?

- Yes, ma'am.

I told Harry all about

your health food casserole.

Why don't you go on

and heat it up...

upstairs,

and we'll meet you up there?

Well, honey.

Julie, what about

the old tube steaks?

Grandma.

I'm sorry.

Hey, what's the story?

They haven't spoken

to each other in fifteen years.

They still love each other

as much as anyone ever did.

It must've been

a hell of a fight, huh?

They can't even remember

what it's about.

Stupid pride!

It breaks my heart.

We better go check him out.

Well, time to sling hash.

Well, why don't I come in,

sit down, guzzle some coffee?

And watch me work? No way.

- Come on.

- No.

No.

You go back to your hotel...

you clean your spit valve,

and take a nap...

because you're going to need

all your energy tonight.

I think I'm gonna head back

and take a nap.

OK. 12:
15.

Third date, Harry, I'm going

to screw your eyes blue.

Yep. Just your basic

old-fashioned girl.

Julie Washello.

Julie, Julie, Julie.

Nothing?

3:
45.

Finally meet the right girl,

and you blow it.

Real good, Harry. Sh*t.

I'm only

three and a half hours late.

That shouldn't be a problem.

Robot demons!

You can backstroke

in a vat of dragon piss...

for all I care about it, ma'am.

Not me. Not spongy.

This used to be

Romeo's Time Square.

You into barbecue? I own

a little place down on Crenshaw.

Best barbecued ribs in town.

Julie here?

I've eaten my way

up and down Crenshaw.

Mel's Rib Hutch.

Honey, Hogly Pogly's

Tyler Texas Barbecue...

in Panorama City is tops.

Panorama City?

Where the hell is that?

Morning, Harry.

You just missed her.

My alarm didn't go off.

The power went out in the hotel.

Really.

- So, was she upset?

- Wouldn't you be?

Yeah. Listen,

you got her phone number?

It's in the book.

Come on.

It's under Lucy Peters...

but I wouldn't wake her

right now if I were you.

Are you eating something?

Yeah. I'll have that gyro

and eggs and some coffee.

I had the nastiest dream

about her the other night.

- Oh, yeah? What's she do?

- Almost everything.

I meant for a living, Harlan.

I don't know. She's some kind

of stockbroker broad.

Shh. Here she comes.

- Morning.

- Good morning, Fred.

Here's your coffee.

She's got old Fred wrapped

around her finger, don't she?

Shut up, will you, Harlan?

Jesus.

You've reached

the Peters household.

Please leave a message

at the sound of the beep.

Julie, it's Harry.

Are you there?

Listen,

I'm really sorry about this...

but it's not

what you might think.

My alarm didn't go off.

It's the truth.

The power went out in the hotel,

and I just slept right through.

So, well, it's 4:00

here at Johnie's, and...

listen, if you want

to come on down...

and we'll go out for

a little champagne breakfast...

or something,

it would be great.

Otherwise, I guess

I'll call you tomorrow...

and, listen, I'm really,

really sorry about this.

Good night.

Dad, it's me, Chip. How come

the phone was busy just now?

Jesus. Look.

I had to wake you, and...

it's... it's happening!

I can't believe it...

but we're locked into it.

Fifty minutes and counting.

Christ, I just can't take it!

I can't f***ing take it!

I'm sorry, dad.

I shouldn't swear.

I'm sorry, but this is it.

This is really it!

This is the big one!

Thor Arthur 66 ZZD.

I told you what would happen

if it ever came down.

Well, it is! We don't know why!

Why would we, huh?

It's for real, dad!

It's no drill!

We shoot our wad

in fifty minutes.

They're going to

pick us up in five or ten...

and you could get it back

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