Mischief Night Page #2

How do I look?

- New sweater?

- No. No.

I... I just haven't worn it

in a while.

Yeah, but you're wearing

your lucky shirt.

Trying to get lucky tonight, eh? Eh?

It's a first date, Em.

I'll be lucky if it lasts an hour.

Ah, you'll end up sleeping with

her and spending the night,

and I'll be on my own.

You're gonna leave me alone all

by myself in this horrifying house.

We've only been here

a few months,

I don't even know

my way around here yet.

Listen to you!

If it wasn't for your constant nagging,

I wouldn't be going at all.

Yeah, well, thank God

for my constant nagging.

The rate you're going,

you'll end up watching the Hallmark Channel,

eating frozen meals for one.

I... I'm sorry, Dad.

I was just kidding.

No, I... I know, sweetheart.

It's just...

Dating is hard.

At my age...

And in my condition,

if that's the right word for it?

I'm still in love

with your mom.

I mean, she was the love

of my life. I don't...

It's been nine years.

Life goes on, right?

That's what my shrink said.

Didn't yours?

Yeah, he did. And it does.

After all,

you're a big girl now.

With a life

of her own.

I should get

a life too, right?

Mmm. Exactly.

And say, she said,

spotting the perfect segue,

I am a big girl,

with a life of her own, so...

So what?

Well, you know Jimmy?

Yeah, I know Jimmy.

Well, you know his dad has that

cabin up near Mount Arthur?

And?

And...

He invited me to go up for the

weekend with him and his family

and he's going to teach me

how to ski.

- He's gonna what?

- Teach me how to ski.

You know,

that thing where people put sticks on their feet

- and roll down mountains?

- Oh, no.

Oh, honey, come on now. You know,

I wanna say that's a bad idea.

- Why?

- Well, because...

- What, because I'm blind?

- No, don't be ridiculous.

We both know blind people

do anything and...

- Well, then why not?

- Well, because...

Because of Jimmy?

He is an idiot.

Well, duh, he's an 18-year-old boy.

They're all idiots.

So? Can I go?

I'll be worried about you, Em.

- I'm a big girl.

- No, I don't care.

Look, plenty of people

with perfect vision

go skiing every year

and break their necks.

Even 17-year-olds, Miss Emily.

Now, what if

you hurt yourself?

I won't hurt myself.

I'm gonna take a lesson. Start out slow.

And if I'm good enough,

I'll go down the easy slope with

Jimmy guiding me the whole way.

Jimmy? The idiot? Right.

He's been skiing since he was five.

Never broke a thing.

Including a book.

I promise, I can handle myself.

Hey, Sharon.

Yeah. I... I remember,

it's right behind the red house.

I'm... I'm looking forward

to it, too. Okay. Bye.

She can't wait to see you.

Apparently.

Cool.

And? So?

Fine. But please, come back

in one piece, please.

You too, lover boy.

I am gonna change.

Yeah. Good idea.

Emily?

Emily? What happened?

I don't know.

Oh, great.

Great. They're egging

the house.

Right, Mischief Night.

Okay, good.

Calm down, Dad,

it's just some kids messing around.

Son of a b*tch!

- Hey!

- Oh, man!

Hey!

A**holes.

Why the hell

would they hit this house?

You okay?

I gotta clean that

before it dries.

Shh!

You thought you could

sneak up on me.

How the hell did you know?

Because you smell like someone

who's been playing football

for two hours.

You know what I think?

I don't think you're really blind at all.

I think you've been lying

this whole time.

That or you're Daredevil.

I wish I could see you.

Trust me, you don't.

I'm hideously ugly, so...

So are you ever gonna

finish unpacking?

Or, like, I don't know,

like decorate a little?

Decorate? You mean, like,

hang posters?

Okay, when you say it

like that it sounds...

Wait a minute.

Did you color your hair?

Oh, Jesus, you can feel that?

Yes.

Yeah, me and the guys

went yesterday.

God, maybe you are Daredevil.

Maybe. But I prefer Batman.

Or the Hulk. Smash.

I don't... I don't get it.

I mean, your eyes

are so beautiful, it...

It just doesn't make sense.

Well, the doctor says that there's

nothing actually wrong with my eyes

and my vision could come back

at any time.

And what do you think?

I think that I'm tired of talking

about the subject for one day.

Anyways, guess what?

What?

Who has four thumbs

and are totally going to your

parents' cabin this weekend?

- Wait, no kidding? No...

- Mmm-hmm. No kidding.

Yes!

I am getting some skis on.

Oh!

Emily?

- Oh, sh*t.

- Em?

Emily?

Emily?

Emily?

Hey, Em?

Oh, hey Dad.

I just wanted to tell you

I'm taking off.

Okay, have fun.

I'm gonna lock up as I leave, so,

the key is in the spot.

And what else? What?

Oh, I have the cell phone,

so if you need me, call me.

Dad. Dad, I'll be fine.

Just go.

- Yeah?

- Yep.

- Okay. I'm going.

- Have...

Have fun.

Oh, sh*t!

Come on.

Hello?

Dad?

Who's there?

Find something better

to do with your time, loser!

What would you like to do?

Call Dad.

Dialing.

Hey, it's David.

Please leave a message.

Hey, Dad.

Um, everything's fine.

I was just making sure

you were having a good time.

Uh, no need to call me back.

Love you.

What would you like to do?

- Call Jimmy.

- Dialing.

- Hello?

- Jimmy.

Hey, babe.

Uh, you miss me already?

What are you doing?

Oh, I'm... I'm just,

uh, I'm hanging with...

Uh, we're about to go prk some of the freshmen,

so. You okay?

Yeah. Everything's fine.

I was...

It's just,

some kids are messing around around the house.

Do you need me to come over

and kick somebody's ass?

Yes. But seriously...

Um, I just got scared

for a minute.

Look, babe, it's... It's Mischief Night,

you know? It's bound to happen, okay?

Um, I mean God knows I've

terrorized some folks in my time.

I mean, TPing houses,

egging people.

I mean... I even took...

I even took a dump in Aidan's front lawn.

Do you remember Aidan?

Yeah, you two

were best friends for a while.

Yeah, not after that.

I don't know, I don't know.

People really hold a grudge.

Yeah, all right.

You know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna take a nice

hot shower and get in bed.

Nice hot shower, huh? Uh, you, uh,

you got room for me in there?

Sure.

Then my dad's gonna come home

and shoot you.

Yeah, well,

it might be worth dying for.

Mmm, dream on.

All right, bye.

Okay. It's just

some dumb kids. That's all.

Just some dumb kids,

and you're not gonna let them freak you out, okay?

How do you

expect to go skiing

if you can't even handle

some kids throwing eggs?

You can't. So quit it.

- I can take care of those tw.

- I don't know. I don't know!

I know you're afraid,

but we...

I don't know!

I don't know!

What's happening?

Lauren calling.

Lauren calling.

Lauren calling.

Lauren calling.

Lauren calling. Lauren...

Hey!

Hey Em, how you doing?

- I'm good.

- Uh, is my brother on his date?

Amazingly.

You know what that is. That is, uh,

one giant leap for mankind, right there.

He should've done this

a long time ago.

Mmm. Yep.

So, listen, I'm...

I'm gonna stop by.

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