Mister Lonely Page #3

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I'm Curly.

Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.

Welcome!

My, it's good to be alive!

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The mountains and the trees

and the sea and the breeze.

Wonderful.

The clouds touching the mountain.

They all join into... Oh...

Whoo!

Ah-whoo-ooh!

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Hey-hey, Michael! Beautiful day!

Hey, what is this, fellas, a monastery?

Come on, let's get busy!

We gotta get this thing finished.

I'm trusting you.

Hey, come on, Jimmy!

You're the laziest bastard here!

It's not so hard, man!

Two legs is chicken, four legs is sheep.

Jesus Christ!

Abe, if you'd stop shouting for a

second, I could get some work done here.

And get these f***ing animals

down the f***ing hill!

- Get 'em down the f***ing hill!

- This way! This way, come on!

- Hey, Michael.

- Hola.

Hello.

Cluck-cluck-cluck.

- What?

- Cluck-cluck, cluck, cluck-cluck-cluck.

Are you a chicken?

Listen, I love the chicken

more than anything in the whole world,

but I think she's pregnant.

Really?

Really.

- Do you know the father?

- Yeah, but I think they just got divorced.

OK.

And what, you're like the stepfather?

Yep, I take real care of it.

I'm the best stepdad

she's ever gonna have and ever will have.

All right.

Well, nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

Cluck-cluck!

Cluck-cluck!

He makes me laugh when he does that.

- Does he think he's really a chicken?

- I don't know why he likes being a chicken,

but I think it's because he just likes the way

chickens live and he wants to be a chicken.

It's just like, a bit like,

if I really liked, maybe, a dolphin

and I really wanted to be a dolphin, so that

I could see how the dolphin's life worked.

Maybe it's just like that.

Now I'm 9'7"!

- Stop showing me your ass.

- Oh, man, this is beautiful.

- I want a drink.

- It's the Grand Canyon.

- You want a drink?

- Give me your toe.

Give me your toe!

# This little piggy...

Michael?

A little toke on that, Michael?

- Thank you very much.

- Don't let your mother catch you!

Bleurgh!

- What happened?

- Like everything, it went out of style.

- Not for me.

- Not for you?

None for Little Red Riding Hood.

- Yeah, man.

- OK, if you say so.

Here...

- Are you sure you're old enough to drink?

- Ah, he's one of us.

- So what do you think, Michael?

- I like the mud.

He likes the mud!

Ladies and gentlemen, I propose a toast.

- To Michael.

- To Michael!

Welcome aboard, Michael!

Three cheers for Michael!

- Hip-hip.

- Hooray!

- Hip-hip.

- Hooray!

- Hip-hip.

- Hooray!

- Speech, speech!

- No, no.

- Yeah.

- Or give us a song.

- No, no, I'd rather give a speech.

- A speech?

- We love you, Michael.

- You're welcome here.

- Damn, he made me cry.

- Goddamn!

# Marilyn's hugging Michael...

# Marilyn's hugging Michael...

You're next.

Yeah...

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Ha-ha! 14 to 2!

OK.

Ah... 15 to 2!

You know that the point of this game

is to hit the ball back to me, no?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- But you hit it too fast for me.

- 16 to 2. Yes.

I always hit the ball fast.

Always good at this.

Oh!

I used to play all sports, when I was young.

I used to be a gymnast.

- Really?

- Yeah.

As a boy, I could put both legs behind

my head and balance on one finger.

- No way.

- Yeah! I won always at contests.

I never lose, you know?

- 19 to 2, I think, yeah?

- Yeah.

You have problems with your hands,

Michael?

- No.

- Something's wrong with you.

No, no, no, I'm just having fun.

- Did you play sports? Basketball?

- No.

- Why?

- No, I was never really good at anything.

Why not? You are strong.

You are a good dancer.

Well, I don't know. Everyone

seemed to be better than me.

- Even the girls.

- You are too nice, I think.

- Go.

- I'm gonna beat you.

Be careful.

Yeah! 21 to 2!

I win!

Yeah.

I mean, good.

- Congratulations.

- Ah...

Serious. You are too nice.

If I lose, I wouldn't talk to you for a week.

Really?

- You want to play again?

- No.

No, no, it's too cold for me anyway.

But thank you.

You're welcome.

I love women.

They're hot. They make me sweat.

I love chickens.

I love their wings, like breasts.

If you combine chicken with a woman's

breasts, you get chicken breasts.

I like chicken breast.

Chicken breast is nice...

and hot!

If it was up to me,

I'd make the world

naked woman and naked chickens.

That's hot, yeah.

I love women.

They are so... They make me sweat.

I love chickens.

Ahh...

Their breasts are so smooth, yeah.

Looks healthy.

It's nearly dead.

I know it's nearly dead,

but it still looks healthy to me.

It was healthy, it was young, it was fed.

What do you think?

I don't f***ing know.

I guess we ought to check the others.

Here, give me...

What do you want me to do,

take its f***ing pulse?

I look like a f***ing vet?

Give it f***ing mouth-to-mouth?

Come on, let's check the others.

- Grab that one!

- Come here!

Grab any one!

Dear world...

Dear world and everyone in it,

I have noticed that over the years

you have tried to pass me by.

I have noticed that

you think I'm very strange,

and the way I think

you might consider it to be wrong.

Dear world and everyone in it...

from the moment I was born,

I remember feeling different.

I remember thinking

I had a special kind of vision

that allowed me to see things

that you couldn't see.

I don't think I ever felt the same

as you felt and...

I'm not exactly angry about it,

it just seems that's the way things are.

I have to admit that I have spent

the majority of my life feeling confused,

feeling alien and disconnected.

Never getting things the way

it seems everyone else gets them

or understanding things exactly.

Dear world...

Dear world and everyone in it...

It's hard to always laugh

when you don't know

what people find so funny.

You are a slut.

Yes?

No.

Did you f*** him?

No.

Yes.

No.

Why is he here?

Because.

You asked him to come?

Yes...

- What?

- Please...

Please stop, please stop.

If I smell my finger,

will I smell him?

You know I love you.

You are the most beautiful person.

I had a dream.

It was a strange dream.

You killed me in the dream.

You stood above me,

waiting for me to die.

You said, "Everything will be OK, Charlie."

"Everything will be good now."

"I promise, Charlie."

And then you said,

"Go with God."

I was curious because you know

I don't believe in such things.

But it was comforting to me.

- You know, Charlie...

- Hmm?

Sometimes when I look at you...

you seem more like Adolf Hitler

than Charlie Chaplin.

Who are these men

dressed like this?

Are they afraid of these little lambs?

I have known these lambs for many years

and they have not hurt me!

Perhaps you should be dressed like this

on the moon.

These lambs are not from outer space.

They are poor, lowly, lowly animals,

for Christ's sake.

Do they not know their little arms

are too short to box with God?

# What a friend

we have in Jesus

# All our sins and greeds to bear

# What a privilege to carry

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