Models Page #3

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With me a pecker has to be beautiful.

It can't look like it's 70 years old.

Charley's wasn't pretty either,

but it was incredible.

Simply humongous. And...

For me the important thing

is that it's hard.

I can't stand them only half hard.

My first boyfriend,

the one I lost my virginity to,

his felt like a cold pizza.

You could never tell if he was horny

or if it was already over.

Seriously.

It was a total bummer.

And now he has kids, the jerk.

He cheats on his wife for the reassurance

because he's no good anymore.

All you do is meditation?

No, yoga too.

And that helps with your jobs?

Me, I do other stuff.

I go to a fortune teller who

tells me everything.

That's crap.

No it's great.

She told me all my jobs.

When it's full moon,

I always go swimming in the lake...

because it gives you really pretty skin,

but only when it's full moon,

and then I rub myself with fish oil,

it stinks incredibly, but it's great.

It lasts a real long time.

I also do a Tarot reading.

Yeah, but Tarot is stupid.

You have to do it right.

You have to go to a fortune teller,

invoke higher things in general.

Know what I just bought?

This wonderful fragrant oil.

It's called Yang Hiang.

But none of that helps, Tanja.

You have to trust in spiritual things.

That helps.

You have to sell your soul

to become famous.

That's a totally crass way to put it,

but it's true.

Not to the devil, but...

You have to start with yourself.

I figure first I have to

find my inner peace,

and then I consider...

what kind of job can do, y'know?

Because if things aren't okay with me,

they can't be okay at work?

Why, isn't everything okay?

Oh sure, everything's fine.

Attitude is important. Look in the mirror...

You know what I do?

I go into the woods and take

off all my clothes,

and then I scream, yeah?

At the top of my lungs.

I get a lot out of that.

You need something like that.

What about a really simple dress, look.

Maybe I should clean up around here.

Is this trendy now? In orange, yuck.

Can you wear this?

That's not just any lipstick.

Sport lipstick, maybe?

No, fashion show lipstick.

Fashion show red lipstick for exclusive...

Bridal fashion shows?

Traditional costume fashion shows.

Exactly.

You're going to laugh,

but it really is for fashion shows.

Cool.

I get bitchy and wear it,

and they think it's great,

and then everyone has to wear it,

and it only looks good on me.

That's the brilliant part.

Is this okay?

Way cool.

No. I don't like it.

It looks country girlish.

Yeah, well I'm sorry, but jeans with...

that top, I mean,

elegant and...

No good, huh?

We have different tastes.

When will you accept that?

You could wear a black pair

of casual slacks with it,

that'd be elegant.

You could go everywhere.

I don't want to be elegant, Elvira.

Understand?

I'm not the elegant type, look at me.

I'm an animal.

I'm wearing something sexy.

Here I am putting on this stupid slip.

I've got a better one somewhere.

If I could just for once

find something here.

Do you have a cover stick?

I'm getting a pimple.

Powder.

That powder doesn't cover.

All you have is junk.

It's not junk. That's Chanel.

It might say Chanel,

and still be just Hungarian Chanel.

This is a great piece.

I can't find a single thing.

Wear the black dress,

it brings out your tits.

How are they anyway?

Oh they're doing great.

I don't even feel them anymore.

But last week, when I was in Germany,

I was lying on a hard bed,

5 minutes on my stomach and

I already felt them.

That's all though...

And what about sex?

Terrific.

I recommend it highly.

What do men say?

Complicated, don't you think?

What?

To have it done just for the sex.

A little expensive.

I have orgasms anyway,

what's the difference what

kind of tits you have?

What's that got to do with it?

Forget it, they really do look great.

I can't be alone.

You've known me long enough,

and I'm just not capable of...

But maybe you just don't want to be alone,

it doesn't necessarily have to be Werner.

Yeah, I know.

My god.

You have to think about that.

Yeah and? And...

Forget it, okay? I don't want to think.

I want some fast advice.

Like if I have a pimple,

what can I do about it?

Just tell me,

what would you advise me to do?

I'd tell you to find out

if he's cheating on you.

Normally you would say,

Have a few affairs yourself.

But that doesn't help.

I wouldn't give such lousy advice.

Deep inside we're too scared of AIDS.

With a condom.

They can tear.

But you don't need to go all the way...

Yeah, but that's really unsatisfying.

I don't know.

I haven't had as many affairs as you have.

Girl, you're crazy!

C'mon, Tanja, I want to know what to do.

I would find out if he really cheated

on you, or trust your inner voice.

I don't care if he's cheating.

Maybe I want to cheat on him.

Maybe I even want him to cheat on me,

so I can cheat on him.

What he doesn't know, won't hurt him.

I'd love to have a real affair.

With a married man, and go to a hotel...

I'd really like to do that.

Isn't my nose too big here, Oliver?

Yeah, in this one it is.

From the side, that's...

no good.

How do you like this one?

Yeah, but my lip...

it's too thin.

That's great.

That one is killer.

It's better if you pick them out.

You ought to sell yourself in this

direction, I think.

I like the awful ones and this one...

Isn't that too...

Isn't this more like what will sell?

You're the right type.

This one's cool.

Can I definitely have two of these?

One for me for the apartment and...

I like this one a lot.

Do you like my new perfume?

Smells sort of good, doesn't it?

Cheap, if you ask me.

What? Do you know how much it cost?

It was totally expensive.

Might be my wrist.

Maybe it smells better here.

Better?

Know where it smells even better?

Just kidding, I'm not showing you all the

places I put my perfume.

Where?

Behind my knee, lasts longest.

Did you know that?

Can I sit up?

Do you have a jacket or something?

I'm freezing.

And?

What?

Was I good? I mean the test.

Which test?

Thanks.

You passed.

You did fine.

Do you think I'll get better

jobs in the future?

Why better?

Yeah, better...

I mean, good ones.

Depends on you.

Why are you smiling?

Because I feel good.

I believe it.

Why?

What about you?

One more time.

Yeah, why not?

I'll give you a little time, okay?

Time?

Yeah, you're a vegetarian.

They need a break before

they can do it again.

Tanja?

Hi, Vivian.

Are we going out tonight?

What are you wearing? I mean, tonight?

But what are you going to wear?

Great.

I have 2 or 3 pairs of pants with me.

We can decide then.

We can trade things, okay?

Do you have anything on you

or should we get drunk?

Let's get drunk, yeah?

And pick someone up?

Something happened yesterday.

I didn't use a condom.

You didn't use a condom?

Sh*t. And?

Careful! That leaves spots.

Look, you already got it all black.

Oh, Tanja.

If you borrow something...

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