Modern Life Is Rubbish Page #6

the '60s. That was my era, you know?

I should have been working in some

Carnaby Street boutique in 1962.

[chuckles] Driving an E-type

Jag with a beehive hairdo,

doing the Twist and freaking

out to the Beatles.

[both chuckle]

I know.

Do you ever feel like you

were born in the wrong time?

Yeah.

All the time.

[all headphones:

music playing]

What are you listening to?

Bombay Bicycle Club.

- Nice. That's nice.

- [giggles]

But check this out.

I think you'll really

love it.

- Interesting.

- Yes?

Can I have this dance?

Thanks.

[man]

Embrace the cold

Embrace my heart

Our love grown old

At least

For each and one point

Ohh, white skin to me

It'll be hard

To break from you

It will be hard to break

[fades]

Any requests?

No.

Just whatever you want.

[piano playing]

[woman]

She's underwater again

Somebody's daughter

A friend

In the night, in the dark

In the cold

As she walks far away

Nobody's watching

Drowning in word...

[clicks, music changes]

[man]

I will love you till I die

And I will love you

All the time

Everything all right?

Yeah. Just... Sorry.

Could we change this song?

Sure. Uh...

[song stops]

Anything you want? What are

you into at the moment?

Um, Black Keys,

The xx,

Frightened Rabbit,

Radiohead, obviously.

Man, I hate Radiohead. They're

so pretentious and depressing.

Gotta call a veto

on that sh*t.

[couple laughing]

- [Natalie] One more drink.

- I've got work in the morning.

So do I.

[laughs]

[Natalie]

Thanks again for dinner.

[both chuckling]

[Adrian]

Hey.

I've got good news, boys. My contacts

came through. You've gotten a gig.

- Foals.

- Yeah.

- [gasps]

- You're on the bill next month at The Forum.

Yes!

This is it, boys!

This is our comeback!

But we need to be

totally ready, right?

Facebook, Twitter, SoundCloud,

Groove Shot, the lot.

And we have to be ready, so that if

we get a spark, it all catches fire.

'Cause all we really need

is one killer track, Liam.

This is it. This is the lifeline

we've been waiting for.

So let's make it count!

Are you up for this?

I don't know, man.

Are we kidding

ourselves?

It feels like this ship's already sailed.

Don't you think?

No. I don't think. Because this is our

chance. This could be our comeback.

Comeback kind of implies that you've

got something to come back from.

You got dumped, and it sucks, and it

hurts, and it's sh*t, and I'm sorry.

But we need you on top form

for this gig. Yeah?

We need a banging new song.

We need a single.

You're the f***ing songwriter. You

wanted to be the front man. Remember?

- Yeah.

- So, start acting like one.

[humming]

Strong enough to find me

Ooh

Somebody's listening

[loud music playing, muffled]

[cheering]

The wait is finally over.

The one and only...

Head Cleaner!

[cheering]

We're Head Cleaner.

This is a song called "Mystery."

The familiar empty feeling

In a sickly void

In the bottom of my gut

Where this thing belongs

Closing my insides

Tedious, repetitive

At least this time's

It's become a part of me

Used to it by now

But it's still

Quite hard to swallow

I'm used to it by now

But still can't spare

The sorrow

If you want another life

Come on, get the best of me

I'll be the story

But you can be the mystery

[laughs]

- Mmm!

- What?

This pistachio

is incredible.

- You have to try this.

- Really? Go on, then.

- You have to.

- That's a lot.

[laughs]

- Yeah. Wow, that's, um...

- It's so good.

- It's... I mean, it's really excellent gelato.

- [giggles]

And speaking of gelato,

you know,

there is another place that I

really think we should check out.

- Oh, yeah? Where?

- Yeah. It's supposed to be fantastic.

Um, it is about...

992 miles away.

It's Florence.

- Florence?

- Yeah.

I was thinking maybe you and me

could go on a little trip.

Unless, of course, you don't like incredible

architecture, and beautiful weather,

and the most spectacular art ever

created in the history of humanity.

In which case,

we should just forget it.

I mean, it's up to you.

But, um, just think about it.

Okay. Okay.

[cheering]

Olly, I'm gonna do

the liquorice allsorts song.

Liam, we haven't practiced it.

All right?

It's going well.

Stick to the set list.

- No.

- It's going well, mate.

C-D-E. Just follow it

on the bottom line.

Gus, kick drum halfway through.

All right?

I'm not playing the song, mate. I don't

know it. Don't f***ing start, Gus.

Liam!

If you feel it, play it!

[Olly]

You'll mess it up.

You are a light

Which is strong enough

To find me

Blind me

I wish

I was strong enough

To see it

Before you were gone

To see you

While the light was on

Nobody gets me

Quite like you

Resonating minds

Becoming true

My liquorice allsort girl

You are the light

Which will guide me

My liquorice allsort girl

You get me in fits

Of hysterics

[cheering]

[chuckling]

Haven't you heard?

Somebody's listening

To what has become

Of our bodies shimmering

Under the sheets

So naturally beautiful

I can't believe

What I made excuses for

[cackles]

Now we're standing

On the sides

Of the shadows

Of the songs we shared

All the images we saved

Are just memories

Of what we were

Of what we were

Of what we were

I can't do it, man.

- [feedback]

- [crowd murmuring]

All right. I'm sorry.

We're coming back.

[exhales]

[sighs]

[speakers:

rock music playing]

Your song

wasn't that bad, mate.

You two, f*** off!

I need a word

with this one.

I'm sorry, Curve.

I'm so sorry.

I've let you down.

All I had left

was you guys.

Don't worry, mate.

I haven't come here

to give you a hard time.

All we can ask of any artist is that they

leave a piece of their soul on the stage.

Of course, ideally,

they finish the gig first, but...

Well, I know we didn't get to do

our full set, but we did enough.

And they liked us, man.

You f***ing killed it

with that song, mate!

And that is what I've been

trying to tell you.

The best music

comes out of pain.

You've gotta sing

from the f***ing heart, mate!

Curve, I'm so sorry.

My name's

not the Curve, mate.

And I'm no rock god.

My real name is Derek.

I live in Milton Keynes with me dad.

He's a maths teacher.

Do you know what I do when

I'm not here with you guys?

I'm the assistant manager

at Tesco's.

Out there, I'm a nobody, but

when I'm in here with you guys,

when I'm sprinkling me magical

musical fairy dust for you,

well, then, I'm the Curve.

And I f***ing love it.

You're the only band

I'm working with

and you're the only band

I believed in

and who believed my bullshit.

I live for this, mate.

What about all the stuff

in Amsterdam?

Mate, I've never even

been to Amsterdam.

I went to Jersey once

with me nan. That's it.

What about all the stuff

with the Gallaghers?

You're the only Liam

I know.

And the only Noel I know works

behind the fish counter in Tesco's.

[laughs]

You cheeky bastard.

Yeah.

[laughs]

The thing is, mate,

this is your band.

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