MoDeRn WaRfArE 2 Page #6

---

CAPTAIN PRICE:

Hold the Zodiac steady!

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Right, you've been accurately shooting people in the head when we were constantly swerving at 100mph, but now that you've got to hit a giant helicopter, you'd like me to steady the boat.

Instead of flying off immediately, the HELICOPTER chooses to politely hover right in front of CAPTAIN PRICE’s gun barrel. He manages to shoot it down with A SINGLE BULLET because he is AWESOME. Then their own ZODIAC goes over the WATERFALL as well.

EXT. OIL YARD - DAY

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH recovers from the fall and stumbles after GENERAL SHEPHERD.

GENERAL SHEPHERD

You know what they say about revenge. You better be ready to dig two graves.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Thanks for blatantly stating the point which all the events leading up to this point have been making in a contrived and crass manner.

GENERAL SHEPHERD

Even though I am an old man and you just effortlessly wiped out my entire company, I’m now going to best you in hand-to-hand combat.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

I guess I'm only a badass when I'm an NPC.

GENERAL SHEPHERD

Maybe it's the fact that you're horribly injured from going over the waterfall?

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

So? You were in a goddamn helicopter crash! Don't those two sort of cancel each other out?

GENERAL SHEPHERD

Just shut up and get closer already so I can stab you.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH is indeed STABBED.

GENERAL SHEPHERD

There we go. Now just lie there and allow me to elaborate on my motivations whilst I prepare to kill you.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Don't bother. I've already been beaten over the head by the dangers of blind patriotism through all those death quotes.

CAPTAIN PRICE intervenes but is EQUALLY PUMMELLED by GENERAL SHEPHERD.

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH

Captain Price! I am powerless to help you!

CAPTAIN PRICE:

Remember -- what I taught you -- about hacking!

CAPTAIN MACTAVISH repeatedly mashes the USE KEY and hacks his way into GENERAL SHEPHERD'S LEFT EYE SOCKET.

GENERAL SHEPHERD

OMG HAX!

(Dies)

The game ENDS, but then DOESN'T. NIKOLAI, who had a spare HELICOPTER flying around, comes and saves CAPTAIN PRICE and CAPTAIN MACTAVISH so they can feature in the NEXT GAME.

DEVELOPER INFINITY WARD

Damn right. This game has beaten all sales records. We've now proven we could make Modern Warfare 3: Kitten Stomper and it would still sell.

GAMERS around the world continue NOT CARING and play some MULTIPLAYER.

THE END:

Rate this script:4.5 / 4 votes