Mommy Page #4

All the songs from our

road trip to Cali.

We did the coast,

all the way down to L.A.

He's got them on repeat.

Effin' hell.

Alright, cake time.

You smell like f***ing heaven!

Eau Sauvage! Christian Dior.

My uncle gave me his leftovers.

And I still wear it. Love the smell.

You know it, Eau Sauvage?

Don't touch that, a**hole!

Whatcha doin'?

Drop that sh*t for a sec,

come dance with your son!

D'ya know the lyrics?

It's rather...

...rather famous.

Come on, sing!

She's our effin' national treasure!

There's our Kyla!

Lettin' her gospel out!

You good, hum!

Jesus H Christ...

Oh boy!

Hey, Kyla! This a bad moment?

I just wanted to...

I...

I just wanted to tell you that...

yesterday was fun.

Yeah, yeah, it was.

What a blast.

Listen...

D'ya think you could do me...

a teeny-weeny favour?

So, Die,

I called Marty

right after you rang yesterday.

Our junior section translator's

on leave with a couple gigs.

One more, one less, he doesn't care!

So timing-wise...

You're dead on.

Marthe, you're making my day.

Well if it's a "hobby",

like you said...

you were always

such a sweet neighbour!

It's so nice to give back, isn't it!

How's life treating you?

How's Steve?

Yawn!

This sh*t is useless!

We had an agreement.

Agreement my ass.

That was your idea.

I don't give a sh*t!

The music... please

turn it down.

Where's the f***ing O.J.

in this motherfucking house!

We have ten minutes left

out of our thir...

Thirty!

Thirty! Say it, for f*** sake!

Hang in there; You can do it!

Steve... ten minutes!

And then we dance.

Ten minutes.

And then we... we dance.

Please calm down.

Steve! Steve...

No, Steve... I'm not

gonna take this!

Come on, fight me, f***ing p*ssy!

Smack that face!

I'm doing this to help, okay?

Cute girly necklace...

Get off me, b*tch!

Shut your mouth!

Shut your f***ing mouth!

Get your hands off me!

And give me that necklace back

before I crush your skull!

You got it? You got it now?!

That's what you want, eh?

You love it that way, right?

Do I bring up your dead father?

Do I f***ing bring that up?

So shut it tight,

sit your ass on the sofa,

and hold your f***ing breath!

Steve...

Just go! I hate you!

Take your time, Diane.

OK.

What?

It's nothing.

Come on, tell me.

No, it's dumb, forget it.

Come on, you tease!

It's dumb...

I'm not at the top of your list...

Come on, you tease!

You sneaky little tease!

- It's dumb, forget it.

- No, no, no!

It's nothing.

Come on!

It was a pleasure catching up.

Tell me!

You won't be disappointed.

You gotta tell me right away.

Tell me now,

cause I'll go to bed thinking,

"Gee, what did she want?

Was it important, was it not imp..."

I need an advance.

$20 bills?

Diane! $20 bills?

Whatever's best for you.

What's it to me...

$20 bills, then.

All in $20 bills, please.

I'm a good lad, ya know.

Diane!

Wait a minute!

Wait up, lemme help!

This isn't your day, eh?

You win some, you lose some,

that's life.

How are you guys?

Us guys?

You and your son.

Same old, same old.

And you? You been busy these days?

There's always something going on

at the municipal court.

You wouldn't believe the cases I get.

I can imagine...

Goddamn...

Can's broken, awesome.

Well, lemme tell ya...

You're one...

pretty...

...pretty gal.

Come on! Dressed up

like a dog's breakfast,

on all fours, middle of the street!

Nah, nah, don't try!

See? That's it!

That's what's sexy!

Is you don't even know it.

You're funny, Paul.

Spic and span, eh!

F***in' Last House on the Left,

what the hell...

Are you guys outside?

Surprise!

Holy sh*t! You goddam crazies!

I almost had a heart attack!

I wanted to piss

so I tied a knot in my dick

just to see your face!

We were done with math and chem

so we fixed a snack.

D'ya notice how her stutter's better?

That's the Steve touch, baby.

They just can't effin resist me.

Forgive him.

Well, can I give a hand?

Table's set, food's served, Jesus!

You can relax.

Relax, breathe!

Can he?

Look... what happens in Vegas...

Well... thank you, Kyla!

Thank you!

And I'm a piece of sh*t?

You're no piece of sh*t, hell no...

You're a prince, baby!

That's what you are!

And we fixed you a royal brunch!

We live like goddamn kings!

Is this Versailles or what?

Have you seen this?

Versailles!

Those baloney rolls

are screaming my name!

You guys, let's take a pic!

Come on.

Let's do it, guys.

- You come here. Come, Kyla.

- Wait...

But my hair...

Your hair's sick.

But that light's harsh, Stevo...

Let's switch sides, alright...

We found out in March.

End of March 2010.

Three weeks later,

I was signing papers for his casket.

Bingo!

That was something.

First off, we moved.

Left the burbs.

Rich was up to his neck in debt.

I sold the house,

paid the bills,

set the counter straight.

And that's when Steve...

Vandalism, petty theft,

the crying and cursing...

All that bullshit.

Then he got diagnosed

and I placed him.

I mean, I placed him.

And what about you?

I did ask you before, didn't I?

You used to live in Quebec City?

Why did y'all move here?

I know Quebec, you know.

We often went for Richard's job.

I always ended up there.

What did Richard do?

He worked in the inventors business.

He...

He invented...

I never really got it but...

I mean, I did but anyway...

It was a microwave thingy...

He named it the Heater-Waver.

You know it?

The Heater-Waver, yes!

Get outta here!

No effin way!

It did good, yeah, it was a hit!

Everyone had the Heater-Waver!

My sister, my sister-in-law!

Really?

Well, hello!

We made a shitload of money

on that one, but it didn't last...

Richie started thinking big,

next thing, I was thinking big...

Of course... it was big!

We all did, but better think big

than small, am I right or what?!

And then...

the Americans called.

- Americans are never far...

- They know best, don't they...

When there's money to be made!

So they got their hands on it...

and that's that.

Effin bunch of crooks!

Yup.

What's done is done.

Are you looking for a job?

One of my friends gave me

some translation gig.

Not really my job, but...

at least I'll make it

to the holidays, now...

I mean, Christmas' right around

the corner... But then there's...

All that clutter in the basement.

The old furniture.

I've got no room for that here.

And it's from another life...

it's got nothing

to do with me anymore.

I was thinking I could...

you know... sell it.

Like a sort of

garage sale type-a-thing...

I don't know what it's worth but...

Must be worth something, at least.

Fancy dinner or some night out...

Makes a lil' bundle of dough...

Bundle here, bundle there...

We'll end up going somewhere!

That little wine's not bad, eh?

And you... is there anyone?

Anyone special, I mean?

I'm a jingle lady!

Sorry.

I meant single.

I'm surprised.

You're so pretty!

You're pretty, Die.

You're real sweet, but...

Pretty won't geisha any'.!

Life's like poker:

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