Mona Lisa Page #6

Jesus, you know

some nice people.

- He knows where I live, George.

He knows where I live!

- Shut up!

Calm down. Get your keys out.

Come on.

Here, do us a favor.

Scratch my nose.

- You're good at this too, eh?

- I'm good at most things.

- you think he'll be back?

- I don't want to think about it.

you better come

and stay with me.

- Where is this?

- My friend Thomas' place.

He likes detective stories.

Don't you, Thomas?

Eh? Don't worry.

- The dwarf did it again.

- What dwarf?

There's a dwarf who's been

murderin' opera singers.

- Why don't you tell her?

- Aye, that's right.

Apparently this dwarfs

been bumpin' off--

Sorry. I didn't

introduce you.

Thomas,

this is Simone.

- How do you do, Simone?

- Pleased to meet you, Thomas.

- Excuse the hands, eh?

- No problem.

[Thomas] What a bloody mess.

Just move them carburetors

and have a seat.

[ Opera Playing

On Stereo ]

[ Opera Continues ]

Didn't you

like that?

No. you didn't,

did you?

- You're the priest.

- That's right. Father George.

Well, you weren't

meant to.

Where's

your clothes?

- Why are you here?

- Simone sent me.

Remember Simone?

Come on.

Get on my back.

What'd you do

to her, eh?

- What'd you do to her?

- Nothing.

Don't worry, sir.

I'll take care of it for you.

Wind came out

and blew them in again

Poor old Michael Finnegan

begin again

There was an old man

called Michael Finnegan

- He grew whiskers on--

- Don't you know any other songs?

Was an old man

called Michael Finnegan

[ Both ]

He grew whiskers

on his chin-egan

Want a cup of tea?

Come on.

Come on.

you like

ice cream?

It's the only thing

I can eat.

- What you mean?

- you know.

No, I don't know.

I can't take food

anymore. Real food.

Well,

what can you take?

you don't know anything,

do you?

Nah. No, I don't

know anything.

I don't mean to be rude.

I like you.

Oh. I'm glad.

- Do you like me?

- I don't know you, do I?

She likes me.

She really likes me.

I'll, uh-- I'll wait out here, all right?

Thanks, George.

- you like her, don't you?

- Yeah.

- Do you?

- I don't know her, do I?

Let's face it.

You're not a very good bet,

though, are you, George?

Uh-uh.

- [Thomas ] So what

was the story, then?

- Complicated.

More complicated than

the story about the horse?

Much more.

I better be gettin' back, then.

What do you think?

- Yeah, yeah.

- you gonna be all right, then, eh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Neighing]

[ Neighing ]

[ Horn Honking,

Tires Screeching ]

- Where is she?

- Here.

- Who is he, then?

- He's a friend of mine.

He's the ice cream man,

Mr. Whippy.

- Left your van outside, have you?

- Shh, shh.

[ Moaning, Crying ]

What's the matter

with her?

Do me a favor, would you?

Get this from a chemist.

Oh, uh, here, listen.

you better have this.

Here you are.

you never know,

do you?

- Thanks.

- you brought the ice cream.

[Man ]

What time is it?

Ten minutes

till 1 2:
00.

[ Doorbell Chiming

"The Wedding March" ]

[Door Opening

In TV Program ]

[ Older Man ]

Hello, hello.

- [Young Man ]

Do you do the marrying?

- That's my business.

- I have a $30 wedding--

- She asleep?

Yes.

Like babes in the wood.

[ Conversation Continues

In TV Program ]

I like the seaside.

I 've always

liked the seaside.

- Do you like the seaside?

- Come for a walk on the pier.

[Young Man ]

I'll buy one.

[ Older Man ]

Um, this one will do it.

First you gotta

sign your names.

[ Gulls Screeching ]

Did you used to do

this walk?

Every day.

- With your gentlemen?

- Sometimes.

- [ Calliope Playing]

- Come here.

Come on. Show me

the sights, eh?

Now then, did you dance with them?

Did you waltz, eh?

Did you tango?

Come on.

I'll buy you a present, eh?

Shall we?

Here you are, mate.

[ Laughing ]

Don't run away.

What you think?

Eh? Here.

Beautiful. Cover those

f***in' eyes, eh?

Told you I was cheap,

didn't I?

Seven years away,

I can do with a tan.

No, come here.

- Don't run away from me.

- Leave me!

you got a tan.

Where'd you get your tan?

Can't I have a tan?

What's wrong with me?

[ George ]

What's the matter?

Am I too old for you?

Am I too cheap?

Eh? you know.

Come on.

Just show me the sights.

you know, get me some Brighton Rock.

That's all I want.

We're on holiday,

aren't we?

We're going to have fun,

like men and women do.

They have fun.

They walk arm in arm,

you know?

- you know? And they all kiss.

- No.

Because they love

each other,

and they get married

so they can love each other more...

and have

a little baby.

Only a little one.

And he fights with

the f***in' mother-in-law.

you know

the way it is...

between men

and f***in' women!

- Eh?

- [ Whimpering ]

Come on. Say something.

Anything. Say it.

[ Whimpering ]

I'm sorry. I can't.

- You're worried?

- Yes.

So are you

gonna tell me?

Tell you what?

As my friend Thomas would say,

the whole story.

you like her, don't you?

Of course I like her.

Yeah, but you

like her in that...

special way.

In the songs.

What songs?

Well, I've sold myself

for a couple of dykes.

She needs me, George.

And you needed me

to get her.

you ever need someone?

All the time.

George!

George!

Hey, come on!

Where the f***

is he?

[Mortwell]

Shh.

you bloody fool,

George.

- you bloody fool.

- Can't you leave it, Denny?

No, George, I can't leave it at all.

Can I, lovey?

Look at this tart.

What'd you do it for,

George?

- I mean, look at her. It's all right.

- [ Gasps ]

I'm not gonna hurt you.

your pimp will do that for me. See?

I'm givin' 'em both

back to you.

- The two of'em.

- [ Simone Shrieks ]

Don't touch me! Don't!

- She's got a gun, George! Ahh!

- [Gunshot]

- [ Screaming ]

- She blew me f***in' toes off, George!

- [ Simone ]

It hurts now, doesn't it?

- George!

- [ Gunshot]

- It religionists!

- [ Gunshot]

- [ Cathy Screaming]

- Simone!

- [ Cathy Crying]

Hey!

- Come on. Come on.

- What, hurt you too?

you f***in' cow!

you f***in' cow!

you would've done it,

wouldn't you?

you would've done it!

I'm just another

f***in' bugger to you!

[ Sobbing ]

you f***in' cow.

you f***in'--

[ Sobbing ]

[ Sobbing ]

[George]

She was trapped.

From the first time

he met her, she was trapped.

Like a bird

in a cage.

But he couldn't see it.

Well, he liked her too much.

And he was the sort who couldn't see

what was in front of his face,

and there she was,

in pain.

When you're soppy

about someone, well,

you can't see things

like that, can you?

And there he was,

soppy sort.

Oh, she had

faith in him.

She believed in him, and he

had a lot of hope for her.

But then

there was love.

Yeah. Yeah, she was

in love, all right.

- Uh-huh.

- She really was.

But not with him.

[ Chuckles ]

- And that's the story.

- That's the whole story?

Well, almost.

- Hello, Dad.

- Comin'. Hello.

How are you?

[ Chuckles ]

You're lookin' well.

Excuse me.

Mona Lisa

Mona Lisa

men have named you

You're so like the lady

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