Mondomanila, or: How I Fixed My Hair After a Rather Long Journey

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In a few minutes...

Mondomanila will be covered in darkness.

What you're going to observe...

Is horrible...

Creepy...

Nauseating...

Frightening...

Without exaggerating.

Don't try this at home.

This has never been shown before.

It's almost night.

In Mondomanila.

Prepare yourself.

Keep your eyes wide open...

Until the midst of night.

Let the darkness devour you.

I always laugh myself to death,

when those wise guys claim...

That they have a solution

for our problems.

They don't know hunger like we do.

They've never felt how their great intestines

ate their little instestines.

The pain of the acidformation in our stomachs.

Tony D.

Mother Mariiya's eldest son

Leader of the Paranoid Squad.

Tough guy, street punk, junkie.

Our f***ing government,

these f***ing institutions...

Those f***ing politicians

and those filthy rich a**holes...

And the worst of all...

That goddamned, f***ing church...

Apart from doing nothing for us,

they also forbid us from having fun.

They forbid us to smoke dope.

And they tell us how to f***.

F*** off.

It's our only way out.

It stills our hunger, softens our pain,

and calms our tormented minds.

It makes our problems vanish.

And gives us inner peace.

It lets us forget the reality,

we wake up in every day.

You're already drunk.

Hey Patotok, give me that glass.

Are you gonna drink, or not?

- Here

You're such a dipsomaniac..

- And you have a tiny dick.

I saw him jerk off with a pincet.

You're about to get smacked by my dick.

Are you gonna use that pincet again?

Light that thing, man.

Can't you do it yourself?

Duck eggs for sale.

Mutya.

The Paranoid Squad's toastmaster.

Tony D.'s best friend and partner in crime.

Duck eggs salesman.

Goddamnit, nobody wants to buy anything.

They're not expensive.

Why not?

Sir, krupuk? Duck eggs?

I don't have any money.

- Absolutely nothing?

Maybe next time, pal.

Duck eggs, baby?

Dirt cheap.

- How much?

For you, seven pesos.

Thanks.

What about you, krupuk?

Krupuk's the only thing I've left.

Guys, shall I get baby?

- Sh*t, no, she's disgusting.

You're just fussy, a**hole.

Do you have any idea of how many c*nts

I've f***ed around here?

How many?

- Ten.

You mean ten hairs left on your balls.

Patotok.

Squatterpunk.

Hates putting on clothes.

Hates filthy pussies.

Don't call us...

Paranoid paranoid, paranoid, paranoid...

No paranoid guy...

No paranoid guy...

Thinks that he's paranoid...

Paranoid paranoid, paranoid, paranoid...

You're jerking off all day.

F*** you!

- Everyone knows it, man.

You're known as the biggest wanker

of the neighbourhood.

Stupid pinhead, you're still a virgin.

Just admit it,

you've never f***ed.

Stupid junkie.

What an a**hole.

Dugyot.

Patotok's partner.

Always horny

Loves p*ssy.

Awesome!

Keep still.

I want to f***!

Poor b*tch, you're my baby.

I want more.

One more time..

Hey, Ungay are you gonna drink,

or not?

A tit you can suck completely dry,

but that glass's a different story.

How come?

Just suck a c*nt.

Look, he's jerking off.

Ungay

sells cabbage.

Jerks off, wherever and whenever he wants.

What are you doing, man?

He's still standing.

Are you jerking off again?

Bunch of a**holes, just let me

jerk myself off!

Mutya's father.

Pauper on the corner of Edsa & Kamias.

Blinded by diabetes.

Loves porn.

That's disgusting, man.

You even f*** Lovely Loanshark.

In exchange for a month's rent.

And her c*nt smells, man.

Perverted maniac!

Don't pretend like

you don't know what that means.

Lovely Loanshark. Owns the appartment

building where Tony d's family lives.

Gambler

Make sure you don't owe her any debts.

If you need money,

loan it from Lovely..

Loanshark

Money to buy food.

Money to pay rent.

Money for medicines.

If you need money,

loan it from Lovely..

Loanshark

Luckily there's someone like Lovely.

She'll take care of everyone.

Even that f*ggot son of Sgt Pepper.

- F*** you!

You jerk off to Naty

How do you do it?

Or do you f*** him in the ass?

Hey, I'm Naty.

What's your name?

Donato a.k.a. Naty

Only son of Sgt. Pepper.

Would've rather been a daughter.

Father can't beat the f*ggot out of him.

Give me a kiss.

I bought something to eat.

There's enough for everyone,

so you don't have to eat that stuff.

What the hell is that?

Tony take a duck egg.

That'll give you strong knees.

Guys, the boss isn't telling us something.

Tony becomes Sgt. Peppers son in law.

You two make a fine couple.

That's enough, guys.

A**hole.

Just drink it, man.

Cut it out, ok?

Here, drink it.

Good joke, man.

Mother Mariiya.

Two sons of different fathers.

Dreams of becoming a singer.

Washes clothes and is a fraud.

I've done it again.

I think you shat yourself out of fear.

Dino Jr.

Tony D.'s little brother.

Likes underpants with pictures.

Was abused by Ugly White Boy

There's a hot chick here!

I'll just sit over here.

Here Naty, drink.

Is that pot?

Can I have some?

Give some to Naty.

- Idiot.

The Gay Transformer.

Couldn't you wait till your father

was in his grave.

Before you told the entire world

you're a f*ggot?

Well, I'm gay.

Can I help it?

Stop f***ing playing with dolls, kid.

They aren't meant for boys.

Why don't you just play with

those toy rifles?

Father of Naty,

No abs.

Discharged from military service,

because of a failed hostage crisis.

When I die, I want my son to be useful

for society.

A son that does something for others.

A son that fights for

the people of MondoManila.

A son that serves his country.

And respects the rules of his country.

Someone who throws the criminals in jail.

Godfearing.

With compassion.

Donato!

You're screwed.

I have to go.

One more drink?

- No, thanks.

Donato with a dick.

Bye f*ggot.

Hey, look out, boozer.

I'm not drunk

No, just sick in the head.

Throw him out.

He's done for.

Enough, we have to stop the hate

from the inside.

Change the pain and sorrow into light.

Ogo X

The Paranoid Squad's rapper.

Sells chickenintestines, paws and blood.

Notorious voyeur.

I wrote this rap for the lost ones,

like me

I'll continue the fight that

my predecessors started.

Words shoot out of my mouth like bullets.

Don't challenge us or you'll pay the price.

Guys, listen.

I have good news.

The Magdalena Sisters are performing.

Are you sure, Ogo?

- I'm sure, come on.

Do you want something from that aristorat?

Smells delicious.

Take a bite.

- It's still on fire, man.

Let's drink to that.

Shoeshine Pablong.

Arsonist, made money with insurance fraud.

Got busted and lost everything.

Ended up in the slums after his release.

Now and then we need a fire,

to clean the slums.

Fire cleans better than water,

and purifies everything around you.

Even cockroaches and rats.

Cleaning with fire is different.

It doesn't leave behind any traces.

Freshly baked.

Want a bite?

F*** off with that crap.

Here, take it.

Compared to the rest of Asia,

you Pinoys are the f***ing lowest in class.

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