Money From Home Page #10

Vase Steeplechase.

And what an exciting day it is.

We have a record crowd here,

studded with celebrities.

I see the Mayor of Tarrytown.

And, uh...

Oh, oh. The world-famous Poojah

of Bahloop has just come in,

with a few of his

prettiest wives.

Looks pretty healthy for a guy

with all them wives, don't he?

All right, Bertie. Come on.

Climb aboard and

let's get out of here.

But I must change my clothes.

Yokum, let me have those silks.

Well, wait,

you haven't got time!

You ain't got time for nothing.

Come with us peaceful-like

or we start throwing lead.

Hot lead! And cold!

I say, you chaps,

I'm not fair game.

I'm here on a visitor's visa.

Yes, and he's got

a return trip ticket!

Help me! Help me!

Disarm him! Disarm him!

I've got him.

All right, get over there.

Thanks.

Get back now.

Get back! Get him!

Get back. All right

now, get back!

Move it.

Help him, help him.

The horses are coming out

of the paddock.

Heading for the starting line.

There's Bingo, Sweep Forward,

Blue Blaze.

Eighteen of the world's greatest

thoroughbreds in current competition

are assembled here today

for the season's richest prize.

They're at the post now.

Well, that's odd, one of the

entries seems to be missing.

It's 22, the Leigh entry.

Where's the Englishman?

All you have to

worry about is me.

Oh, Virgil! What are you doing?

What happened? Call the cops!

What happened? Who's he?

He tried to keep

Bertie from riding.

What? Yeah... Bertie! Come on!

Bertie, get up from there.

The race is about to start.

You gotta get on the horse.

I demand to see

the British Consul!

Bertie, snap out of it.

The race.

Oh, yes.

Must get into my silks.

It's no use. They're

at the post already.

You do believe I really

tried, don't you?

I'll try hard to believe it.

I'd better go to the secretary

and disqualify the horse.

Well, where's Virgil?

Virgil. Virge!

Virgil!

Well, what's he doing up there?

Virge! You all right?

Sure, I'm all right.

That'll teach them to fool

around with Virgil Yokum.

Virgil, come back!

Anything can

happen. They're off!

Easy! Easy! Easy!

Hey, here comes 22 now!

Easy, Sheba!

I don't get this.

There's the first jump. It's

Bingo and Sweep Forward over.

Great Arab and Blue Blaze,

Whiparound and Gladsome Boy.

Here comes My Sheba!

It's My Sheba, all right.

Who's that rider?

Phyllis!

Come on!

My Sheba's coming strong,

but something's wrong

with the rider.

Bingo, King Leo

and Whiparound pushing hard.

We'll take Marshall's car.

Oh, I better take my

ambulance, in case we need it.

Now, it's Sweep Forward over,

then Bingo, King Leo and

Green Demon, all in a bunch.

There goes a horse.

Uh, two together.

Oh, oh, the rider's hurt!

It's Number 8, Eddie Miller.

And here comes My Sheba!

Come on, Sheba, come on!

Come on. Oh, make it.

Make it, please.

I can't help it, My Sheba,

I'm a natural born pedestrian.

So, do me something.

Well, I'll try it again.

Giddap!

Easy, Sheba! Easy!

An unorthodox ride,

but amazing.

Easy, Sheba, easy!

Turn around!

Turn around!

...predicting

this is still anybody's race.

Look at My Sheba come!

Hey, it looks to Jumbo like this

guy is trying to win a race.

If he win a race, he lose

his health completely.

There goes Clay Fox.

The rider's thrown. Sweep Forward

and Bingo over neck-in-neck.

There goes My Sheba over!

Come on, Sheba!

Mention that

pig's name once more

and Jumbo is personally

going to give you a thick lip!

If Jumbo couldn't

stop you, I will!

How do you know about Jumbo?

My Sheba is fighting every

foot of the way for victory.

She's passed Blue Blaze and

is now passing Gladsome Boy.

Great Arab moves in

to challenge Sweep Forward,

but here comes My Sheba!

And My Sheba is down again!

Virgil!

Are you all right, darling?

Yeah, but I've got a terrible

headache in the seat of my pants.

Well, can't you ride anymore?

I can't even swim.

Well, you don't have to swim.

Stand up!

Autumn, call the cops! Cops?

Yeah, call the cops!

Preston's in on a frame-up

with Jumbo Schneider.

Well, I'll take care

of it, but get going!

Yeah, okay.

Whoa, boy.

Come on. This way, Sheba.

Come on!

Attaboy, Virge!

Quick, after him!

Stick with it,

Virge, stick with it!

You can do it, boy!

Watch out, Virgil! Jump!

Okay.

Come back, little Sheba!

Oh, pain. Oh, the muscles.

Everything hurts.

Don't blame me, Sheba.

She told me to jump!

Oh, I meant over the fence.

Now she tells us.

Come on, get on.

Oh, no, we're not

gonna break the rules.

Hurry!

All right, I'll hurry.

Help me.

Oh, where's your whip?

I didn't have one.

Here, take this.

What's that?

That's a souvenir I picked up

at the Poojah's suite.

Come on, get going! Go on.

Give me the Police Department,

please!

Oh, come on, Virgil!

Come on, Sheba!

Go ahead,

you Arabian beauty, you.

Arabian?

I made it, Sheba.

I didn't fall off.

Only My, uh, My Sheba and Sweep

Forward remain in the race.

And there goes My Sheba.

It's Sweep Forward by a head

and now, by a nose.

My Sheba is moving up as they

approach the water jump.

It's My Sheba

and Sweep Forward.

I caught you, didn't I?

You phony.

You get on that horse

and I'll break your leg.

Yeah? Well,

this is a free country.

So do me something.

Are you all right, Virge?

Yeah, I'm all right,

but I'm sorry

I can't ride anymore, Miss

Leigh, I haven't got a horse.

But, Preston's on My Sheba!

What? He's got my horse?

Wait a minute, what's going on?

I don't think he knows it, but

Marshall Preston's on the wrong horse.

He's riding My Sheba.

And get this, My Sheba's jockey

is running along after them.

That's my boy.

We could still win!

He's on My Sheba!

Stay with him, Virge!

Stay with him!

Please, don't fall off again.

It's... it's...

Oh, what's the use? If you didn't

see it, you wouldn't believe it.

We won!

Oh, Virgil, darling!

Oh, Autumn, pain!

Oh, darling, you're wonderful.

Jeez, Autumn.

People are watching.

Well, let them.

There's nothing

in the rule book

about two riders on one horse.

Then My Sheba's the winner.

Her jockey was on her

at the finish line.

You're dead right.

That's what I say.

Make it official. Tell

them to post the winner.

My Sheba, the winner.

Preston, old boy,

we're pals, we're buddies.

I just want to thank you for

helping Virgil win on My Sheba.

My Sheba? Mmm-hmm.

I won't stand for this.

I demand an investigation.

You're going to get it.

Take him away, boys.

Come along, Preston. Let's go.

I'll file a claim.

Oh, Virgil, thank you,

thank you, thank you.

She's very grateful.

Congratulations, Miss Leigh.

Well, thank you.

Great ride, sir.

Thank you. Have you set the

price you want for your horse?

Well, frankly I... Have we?

We?

Oh, yes. No, the horse isn't

for sale, Your Worthiness.

Perhaps in a year or so,

Your Highness

will be able to buy

one of Sheba's foals

from the Nelson stables.

And it'll be healthy, too,

Your Worthlessness.

Worthiness!

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