Money From Home Page #9

Miss Leigh. Do you think she'll

take My Sheba out of the race

on account

of what happened last night?

Well, maybe. Look, I'll... I'll

go up and have a talk with her.

No, no, no.

You stay here, Virgil.

She's wonderful, isn't she?

She's the greatest thing

since local anesthetics? No?

Don't be jealous, My Sheba.

I love you.

Sure I do.

Well, just so

we understand one another.

Sure. You're a sweet girl.

All right, Bertie. What?

Wake up, come on. Who? When?

Wake up! What for?

Let's go. I know you're alive.

Where?

You're warm. Who is?

Little air. Little air.

That's a boy, another one.

Here, now. Come on.

Don't you know what day it is?

Today is race day. Race day!

Oh, yes, of course, race day.

Yeah, steeplechase.

Attaboy.

Are you gonna ride?

Oh, yes, I'm gonna ride.

Are you gonna ride? Huh?

Of course, I'll ride.

Of course I'll...

And you'd better win!

Yes, of course, old boy.

Now that the horse and I

have a common understanding,

we cannot fail to win.

That's a boy!

Common understanding.

Will you excuse me?

No, no, right into the shower.

But just one moment.

And don't get out of

it till I get back.

I'm gonna get you

some black coffee.

I'd rather have cocoa.

All right!

This way, Jumbo.

There's the room, here.

All right now,

first thing you boys

snatch that jockey and hustle

him over to the Hunt Club,

where Mr. Preston has

reserved a suite for me.

What about Honey Talk?

I will personally take care of

Mr. Nelson and show them that nobody,

but nobody, double-shuffles

Jumbo Schneider.

Short Boy.

Till it doth run over me

Come, landlord,

fill the flowing bowl

Until it doth run over

For tonight we'll

I say, what're you

doing in here?

Unhand me, sir! We

haven't been introduced.

What is the meaning

of this invasion?

Who are you?

We are sort of what you might

call a reception committee.

Oh, how delightful.

You are going for a ride.

I certainly am, sir,

and I am going to win.

Uh-uh, the kind of ride you are going

for the winner don't come home

with a wreath around his neck,

he comes home with

a lily in his hand.

Oh, these quaint

American customs.

Here, get your duds on.

My duds?

Oh, you mean my silks.

Silks, schmilks, get them on!

Hunt Club? Suite B, please.

Jumbo, Preston.

Are you sure

you've got the right man?

Well, I just ran

into Miss Leigh and...

What do you mean there's

two guys now? What?

Yeah.

Okay.

All right, Preston. Okay, okay.

Don't boil your water.

Pour, pour. Go on.

All right. So, just to be safe,

we pick up

the other citizen, too.

Anyway, I ain't got

my Honey Talk yet.

All right.

Get the Seldom Seen Kid

and Short Boy,

and you two stand on the hall door.

Go on.

Hey! Hey, tell the

manager to clam up

on them crummy musicians

across the hall!

Bertie? No, it's me, Virgil.

Where's Bertie? Isn't he here?

No, I went down

to get some coffee

and then came back

up here, he's gone.

Oh, where could he be? Miss Leigh's

waiting at the track for him.

He's gotta be here!

Don't waste your time!

You see that door?

I didn't do that!

I know you didn't.

Short Boy, one of Jumbo's

trained apes, did it.

And if you ask me, I think

they shanghaied Bertie!

They can't do that.

It ain't legal!

But, of course not.

And that makes me think that

Jumbo's down here himself.

Well, let's go find Jumbo

and bring Bertie back!

Oh, no! That's like getting

tangled up with a meat grinder.

But, it's either him or us.

Well, I'm worried about

Autumn's bet and Miss Leigh.

Look, you go down to the

track and see if he's there,

and I'll call the Leigh estate.

Okay. If I call you,

I found him.

Oh, h-hello.

Hello, Yokum.

Hiya.

Where's Honey Talk?

Oh, he... he went to Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh?

Yeah, his mother's pitching

for the Pirates

and he wanted to see

the opening game.

Oh, by the way, have you

gentlemen seen Mr. Searles?

Oh, sure. Come with us!

Oh, you're very sweet,

in a manly sort of way.

Okay. Well, just tell her

Mr. Nelson called.

And if Bertie Searles

shows up around there,

tell him to call me

at the hotel. Uh-huh.

Virgil!

Easy, easy. When I'm handled

roughly, I break out in a rash!

You fellows better

not push me around.

I'll tell the police on you.

When they don't see

I'm around...

I wish you wouldn't

be so impetuous, Yokum.

I'm addled enough as it is.

Bertie, do you realize

we've been kidnapped?

Rather.

You know, I never thought I'd

get involved with gangsters.

Jolly interesting, isn't it?

But Bertie, the race

is in a couple of hours!

Yes, I've thought of that.

But you know,

a man in my position isn't

abducted by gangsters every day.

It'll be something to chat about

at the club when I get back home.

Come here. Come here.

I'm gonna finagle

things around a little.

I want you two guys

to go with me.

Seldom Seen,

you stay in the room.

Short Boy,

you stay on the door.

And after the race, I'm gonna

let you have a little workout.

Mr. Honey Talk Nelson.

This is all silk.

Are you certain

this idea will work, Yokum?

Oh, sure.

It's quite a good fit,

isn't it?

Oh, yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, this is gonna

work all right.

Well, I hope so.

Well, don't you see, they're

trying to keep you from the race?

Yes. Now, if they think I'm you,

they'll try and stop me.

Oh, of course, I see.

Yes. Yeah, now.

Now, this is the plan.

I'll go out the door and

distract them. Yes.

Now, while they're busy with

me, you run and get away.

Oh, I run? Yeah, now let's get set.

Move this.

I've never encountered so many

obstacles before a steeplechase.

All right, get ready.

What do I do? Over here?

Yeah, right here. What do I do?

Get set to run.

On my mark. Yes.

You all ready? I'm ready.

All right. Here we go. Fine.

Hi!

We haven't got a chance!

Perhaps if...

It's about time you

cuties come out here.

I hear there is a harem

going on in there.

Hey, come here!

What happened to Bertie?

Oh, I'm fine, but Yokum went to

sleep while we were chatting.

Someone at the door? Oh.

Oh, my arm!

Help me.

Gangsters are fun, aren't they?

Yeah.

Oh, my arm!

What's going on down there?

Come on, let's drag him out.

All right.

You're tearing off my arm!

Jumbo hears about this,

he'll tear off your head!

All I know is,

I opened the door

and I got surrounded by fists.

There she is.

Do you think you have time

to give her a trial run?

Dear old boy, one doesn't run

one's animal before a race.

Now, now, old girl,

none of that.

Let's not start that again!

Sheba! Don't you remember me?

I'm your drinking partner.

Remember? Last night.

Yes, that's the whole trouble,

she remembers last night.

First call.

Virge, you talk to her.

She loves you. Go ahead.

Nice. Nice Sheba. Good girl.

Calm down now, sweetie.

It's me, Virgil.

Come on, now take it easy.

Everything's gonna be

all right, sweetheart.

Good afternoon,

ladies and gentlemen.

Well, here we are

about to start

the $50,000 Gold

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