Monster Brawl Page #4

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for good measure.

Lady Vampire delivers

a right elbow,

followed by a big left hook,

and then another big right!

Glorious combo.

The Mummy is up to something

here, Buzz.

He's fumbling around

with his bandages.

And he throws a fistful of dust

into the eyes of the Nosferatu.

Watch out! The Mummy

locks Lady Vampire

into a merciless sleeper

hold submission.

How anyone could withstand that degree

of asphyxiation is beyond me.

It's lights out for Lady Vampire.

She's drifted into the darkness.

And the Mummy in prime position

to win this contest.

The Mummy now exits the ring area,

and is shuffling over towards

the wood crypt.

That filthy Mummy is

up to no good, Sid.

Keep in mind, Buzz, it

is very difficult

to kill something that's

already dead.

This is a risky delay by the Mummy.

And the Mummy has gone and

grabbed what looks like a wooden

stake from the crypt

and is making his way back

towards the ring.

And with no ref, all foreign

objects are fair game, Buzz.

A smart weapon of choice

on behalf of the Mummy.

We've underestimated this

rotting Pharaoh.

He must be trained in vampire-slaying

techniques.

Back in the ring, the Mummy

stalks over Lady Vampire,

raising that stake

for the finisher.

Holy jumping Jesus, she awakens

in the nick of time!

She's revamped now, Sid, and on

the attack as she moves in

with a clothesline into

the turnbuckle.

And Lady Vampire lines him up

with a devastating bulldog,

face-planting the frazzled

Pharaoh into the mat.

How in God's name are those

bandages holding up, Sid?

Embalming is a fine art, Buzz.

He's been wrapped in that

crap for centuries.

And Lady Vampire slingshots

the Mummy into the corner.

The Mummy is reaching for

his medallion hanging on

the corner of the ring.

The former king appears to be holding

some type of ancient sun relic.

Majestic.

The Mummy deploys a blistering

sun curse technique

that scorches the face

of the Vampire.

A timely retaliation of twisted

alchemy from the Pharaoh.

And the action moves

into the cemetery

as Lady Vampire pursues her

opponent outside the ring.

And quick jab followed by

a push kick sends the Mummy

reeling to the ground.

Lady Vampire picks up a granite

tombstone, and look out!

She just hammered it over

the skull of the Mummy!

That must have weighed

200 pounds, Sid.

Some serious grindhouse action

happening over in the graveyard, Buzz.

I haven't seen a tombstone

smash in 25 years.

She picks up the weakened

corpse of the Mummy.

Lady Vampire has just ripped

the black heart

right out of the Mummy's body.

Lady Vampire wins.

Black heart removal.

That was phenomenal!

Did you see that, girls?

Of course you did.

Ladies and gentlemen, the winner

of the match is Lady Vampire!

Unbelievable.

Look at her preening to the world,

holding that black heart.

She wins the Undead Conference

Middleweight title,

and can return home triumphant,

and get back to killing

Gypsies in the night.

So long, Mummy. Back

to the grave you go.

Stay tuned, folks. We'll

be right back

with our first heavyweight

match of the evening.

You're watching Monster Brawl,

the ultimate fight of

the living dead.

Silver Springs, New Jersey.

No!

Marshfield, Louisiana.

Over 10 % of the Earth's landmass

is covered by festering,

impenetrable marshlands.

The Mississippi Bayou.

Home to over 30,000 species

of wildlife.

This vast boggy wasteland

is also home to one of the most bizarre

and disgusting creatures

in the whole world.

The Louisiana Swamp Gut.

The undisputed king of all

reptilian bog-dwellers.

Swamp Gut is one with his

nebulous surroundings.

So toxic is his slime and venom,

that it changes the very composition

of the bayou atmosphere.

Humans are frequent casualties of

the harsh and cursed swampland,

and this Swamp Gut is not above

scavenging from a corpse.

Good friends are hard to find

these days for Swamp Gut.

Signs of the enemy are detected

and examined closely.

Fishing in these nefarious

waters is nearly suicidal.

Swamp Gut has developed a savage

combat technique for

such reckless adventurers.

Swamp Gut's deadly slime

attack is so toxic,

that it paralyzes the fisherman's

nervous system instantly.

This solitary creature may never

see another of his kind again.

Not only is his prey seasonal.

It's also very hard to find.

Only the most bumbling mammals, like

this unsuspecting canoeist,

dare to traverse such deadly

waterways of the world.

He is oblivious to the

approaching danger.

The hunt is on.

The canoeist doesn't stand a chance

against such a formidable opponent.

There are under ten Swamp

Guts left in the wild,

and that number is falling.

Like so many creatures, the

Guts have been pushed to the

very edge of extinction

by the destruction

of their habitat.

Creature Conference Heavyweight

Title Match.

Swamp Gut vs. Werewolf.

Welcome back to the program, folks.

He's Sasquatch Sid,

I'm Buzz Chambers,

and we're ready to set up the

next fight of the evening.

For this match we have our

first Heavyweight division

title up for grabs

coming from the Creatures

Conference.

Werewolf.

Swamp Gut! I know you've

been hearing it,

walking through the swamp with

that big gut of yours.

You must have been hearing it. All

the frogs have been saying it,

all the toads, all the creepy

crawlers have been saying it.

Here comes the Wolf.

The Werewolf was once a simple

man who was viciously mauled

by a rabid lobo and became infected

by the dreadful wolf bane.

Werewolf possesses incredible

agility,

speed and those keen

animal instincts.

He can take a ton of abuse,

and he'll be in turbo moonshine

mode tonight.

We're basically looking at

a tremendous athlete,

Weill-conditioned and powerful,

and Swamp Gut is gonna

have his hands full.

Swamp Gut.

Next up is the king of the bog,

the disgusting and repulsive marsh

demon known as Swamp Gut.

This gelatinous creature will

be out of his element for

the first time tonight.

Swamp Gut is a repugnant pariah

and odious glutton.

He is morbidly obese so he

must use that size and

power to his advantage,

to make up for the obvious drawback

of his massive gut.

He is also capable of stirring up

a bellyful of toxic swamp trash,

so Werewolf will wanna

avoid close quarters

or else risk getting slimed.

Now, over to Jimmy Hart to summon

these bastards out of the crypts.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time

for the heavyweight battle

for the Monster Brawl

Creatures Conference.

Introducing first, weighing

in at 225 pounds,

the man in the moon, the howler,

the disemboweller, Werewolf!

And his opponent, weighing

in at 438 pounds,

the uncontested marshal

of the marsh,

Swamp Gut!

And a quick look at our tale

of the tape for this fight

reveals an interesting dichotomy.

Swamp Gut is obviously the older,

bigger and more experienced

of the two fighters,

and Werewolf comes in with a

relatively unknown record.

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