Monster Brawl Page #6

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into a one-man army.

Colonel Crookshanks has done a fabulous

job of training Zombie Man

and my understanding is that if

Zombie Man wins the Brawl,

we'll have a new type of soldier for

future wars around the world.

If he loses, just another

corpse added to the heap.

Add to this an insatiable

hunger for flesh,

and you have yourself one hell

of a killing machine.

Battling for the Undead

Conference title,

two horrendous champions

of the grave!

First up, fighting out

of the stone crypt,

is the undisputed grandmaster

of Gothic giants.

The reigning champion

of reanimation

and eternal damnation.

The undefeated legend of the fall,

Frankenstein!

And, Buzz, technically it's

Frankenstein's monster,

if you want to be a dick about it.

And now making his way

out to the ring,

hailing from Pittsburgh,

Pennsylvania,

a blood-drunk, belligerent,

brain-eating bastard.

The deathless, non-perishable,

ever-lasting,

invincible and undying Zombie Man!

And a quick glance to see

how our monsters align,

illustrates a grim contrast here

as Frankenstein takes the cake

in mostly all categories.

Zombie Man is no slouch himself,

and he reminds me of a younger,

healthier Sasquatch Sid Tucker.

Both fighters getting ready

inside the ring,

and you can just feel the

tension rising here at the

Necropolis tonight.

Frankenstein and Zombie collide

in the middle of the ring.

The big man corrals Zombie into the

corner and goes to work right away.

Frankenstein executes

a superb clothesline,

sending the godforsaken Zombie

to the canvas mat.

Incredible move, Buzz.

I concur, Sidney.

Exceptional.

And Zombie Man in serious

danger now, Buzz.

This fight could be over.

And keep in mind these fighters

have already died

once in their lifetime,

but this time, there will

be no reanimation.

All the chips are on the table.

And what a tolerance for pain.

Folks, he just won't stay down.

Zombie Man is incredibly resilient.

Frankenstein, better

try a new strategy.

And Frankenstein manager Doc Igora

is getting a little impatient

with his monster.

Crush his head, you imbecile.

His head!

Well, he's right, Buzz. You

can't stop the Zombie

without dealing it some massive

trauma to the head.

Frankenstein puts Zombie into

a powerful stranglehold.

Come on!

Zombie Man with a double ear-slap

sends Frankenstein reeling

to the center of the ring.

A timely counterattack

by the Zombie

as he finds new life.

And Zombie Man bites the

arm of Frankenstein,

gnawing some of that rotten flesh.

And no concern that Frankenstein

will turn into a zombie.

He's already technically

dead, people.

Get up! Come on, get up!

And Zombie Man doing his best

to try and knock down the

all-powerful Frankenstein.

His only path to victory

is toppling the giant

and getting him off his feet.

Medic.

And nothing seems to move this

over-sized corpse, Sid,

as Zombie Man throws everything but

the kitchen sink at Frankenstein.

And Zombie Man unleashes a

barrage of blows to the mid-section

of the big man.

And spank me cross-eyed, Sid.

Doctor Igora enters the ring

and he hits Zombie Man

in the back of the head

with a pipe wrench, sending the

blood-thirsty bastard to the ground.

And the Colonel is

hopping mad, Buzz.

That was an unfair foreign object

by the weasel manager Doc Igora.

And wait a minute, folks!

Colonel Crookshanks with a hatchet

to the back of the Doctor,

and he goes down at the

side of the ring.

Buzz, that was a mistake

by the Colonel.

He's triggered a force more powerful

than he can imagine.

Look at the rage in Frankenstein's

face.

And he's friggin' pissed, folks!

Frankenstein systematically

destroys Zombie Man

with a deluge of blows.

Tremendous.

Who is this indestructible Zombie?

I've never seen someone withstand

such an ass-kicking!

Zombie Man knocked out of the ring.

Now we're in for some

graveyard action!

Frankenstein with a

choke-hold move,

lifting Zombie Man off his feet and

slamming him hard to the ground.

What a crippling move, Buzz.

And cover your eyes, Sid!

Frankenstein has squashed

Zombie Man's head

with a brutal foot stomp.

Zombie Man is done!

Frankenstein wins.

Brain-crushing foot stomp.

You know that was an

unbelievable match.

Frankenstein has done it again!

Hey, and the winner of the

match is Frankenstein!

And there appears to

be some commotion

going on at the back of

the graveyard, Sid.

There's trouble a brewing

near the old hill, Buzz.

I told you to mind

your own business.

The soil is cursed, boy. Something

evil has been unearthed.

You're all doomed.

For the Love of God. The dead

are rising from their graves,

answering the call of distress from

Zombie Man's untimely death.

Unbelievable, ladies and gentlemen!

In death, Zombie Man has summoned

an army of undead

united against Frankenstein.

Holy crap, Buzz! This is insanity!

Wait a minute, girls, here comes the

zombies! Every man for himself.

Run!

For the first time in the history

of professional sports, folks,

we are witnessing the living dead

rising from their graves

to confront Frankenstein.

Now, we've seen tag-teams

before, Buzz.

But six on one is unheard of.

And Frankenstein escapes

the graveyard,

and runs for cover into the crypt.

No sense for him to

stick around, Sid.

He's got another fight

ahead of him.

And now the Colonel goes down

at the side of the ring.

These zombies are out of control.

And we may be next, Sidney.

Don't worry about it,

Buzz. I'm packing!

I'll take care of you.

Sweet potato fries!

Good work there, Sid.

That doesn't look very

good, Sidney.

Just a scratch, Buzz.

Just a scratch.

Doesn't look so good.

Why?

And we're back on the air

in the announcer's booth,

and I regret to inform

you that Sasquatch Sid

has sustained a minor injury

to his hands, folks.

That's correct. I had a

tussle with a zombie

and suffered a small bite wound.

But I put a little alcohol

on it and I feel fine.

Really I do.

Now, let's get back to the fights.

Yes, and we'll keep an eye on

Sid as the evening advances.

Monster Brawl Heavyweight

Championship Match.

Frankenstein vs. Werewolf.

So, what makes me think

I have a chance in Hell

of beating Frankenstein?

vengeance.

It is true

that I am a wretch.

I have murdered the lovely

and the helpless.

It was a monster that took my wife.

It was a monster that

took my child.

It was a monster that

took my life away,

so I guess you could say I don't

like monsters very much!

I have strangled

the innocent as they slept.

I don't care if they're zombies,

I don't care if they're vampires.

Hell, you saw what I

did to Swamp Gut!

My reign

is not yet over.

So, Frankenstein, you can come

at me with your big, dumb,

stitched-up face and your

"roar-roar-roar Father."

And it ain't gonna do a damn thing.

Come on,

my enemy.

We have yet to wrestle

for our lives.

So, after four explosive

and gory fights,

we've reached the moment we've

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