Monster High: Why Do Ghouls Fall in Love? Page #2

have to ruin it!

All this math has got your

head swimming round like a blind tuna.

You gotta ask yourself,

what does your heart want?

Here, let's write up

a list of pros and cons

for both blokes

on your computer.

You're writing a program

to decide your perfect match?

Science doesn't have all

the answers, you know.

Sorry! Just saying that love is a

mystery, dipped in secret sauce.

There is a magic to it.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

There's nothing more beautiful

than a full heart.

Valentine,

how may I romance you?

Who are you

talking to on the phone?

Mom, I got it. Jeez!

Valentine?

Draculaura.

Ah!

Smooth, man, real smooth.

Copasetic, Valentino.

Ice cold, daddy-o.

Oh. Sugar!

I have been waiting ages to

hear your sweet buttery tones.

Who are you talking

to on the telephone?

Mom!

Get off the line.

You want me to

transfer to Monster High?

Surely,

anything for you, darling.

You hear me? If you don't

clean up all this batguna...

Yes, Mom, chores first!

Hang up!

Apologies.

I can't wait to see you,

Valentine, my love.

Cupid, I'm begging here.

Like, hey, Valentine, why are you

so crazy about this vampire chick?

Because Draculaura's perfect.

She's one of a kind.

And she has

such a big heart.

The biggest heart of any

monster there ever was.

She completes me.

She completes my collection.

All I have to do to

harvest your heart,

is fill it

to 100% with love.

I was nearly there,

but then you got away.

That won't happen

this time.

If you don't clean up your

batguna, it's sunlight for you, son.

Yes, Mom, I know.

I just want to

make her happy.

You need to remind her why she fell

in love with you in the first place.

Cleo and Clawdeen

knew of a secret place

buried deep

below Monster High,

that would be perfect

for the party.

The catacombs!

The map says there should be an old

concert hall somewhere around here.

Ugh! Hasn't anyone heard of GPS?

Look, a door.

There must be a key around

here somewhere.

A skullet key!

Those open everything!

Whoa.

What's that smell?

Totally.

Who died in here?

Oh, my ghoul!

Well, that was a close shave!

Operetta. Thanks.

Y'all nearly fell into "the

Cauldron of Eternal Body Odor. "

One dip in

there and whoo-ee...

You'll stink like a polecat

for a thousand years!

What brings you by?

Draculaura wants her

birthday party here.

Well, then, let me

rope this off for you.

Perfect! Now, all we need is a

few thousand scented candles.

Let's get to work.

The program's done?

So, who is

your perfect match?

Yeah, Don or Slow Moe?

Well,

what are you waiting for?

Hey, hot stuff!

Heath Burns!

Heath Burns!

Hoffa!

Clawd had finally figured

out what to get Draculaura.

Something she couldn't

get anywhere else.

Check it out.

Oh, a box of junk.

How thoughtful.

Yeah, you can't give

her a bunch of stuff

that you dug up

from the backyard.

It's not a box

of junk, it's...

What's that about?

Is there a sale somewhere?

Why wasn't I told?

Ghoulia!

Did you read my blog?

A hot new boy just

transferred to Monster High!

I heard that he was

looking for Draculaura.

Who could it be?

How am I doing?

All right, no mistakes.

But I was looking forward

to failing somebody.

Just parallel park and you

survive your driver's test.

Mess up,

and it's off with your grade.

Valentine?

You fail.

Valentine!

I'm Toralei.

Pleased to meet ya, darlin'.

I'm...

Valentine, yes.

I know all about you.

I see my

reputation precedes me.

And I know you're here

for Draculaura's heart.

Hush, now!

Look, she called me.

She didn't call you. I did.

You did? Why?

To help you get past

her guard dog.

The furry fellow?

Her boyfriend.

Boyfriend?

Relax.

Clawd doesn't have a romantic

tuft of fur on his whole body.

He's no threat.

He sure is big.

Aw... It's okay, fraidy cat,

the big, bad woof

is leaving.

Now, get over there

and do what you do best.

Well, all right,

now we're talking.

Why are you doing this,

anyway, pretty kitty?

Let's just call it a birthday

present from the heart.

Mmm-hmm.

Draculaura.

Draculaura.

My Valentine.

How romantic!

Ah...

The attention

Draculaura was getting from Val

was making her

batty with glee.

'Course, that much glee

is hard to hide.

What's going on

with you and Valentine?

What? What are you

talking about?

Everybody knows that you

guys have been hanging out.

It's all over school.

It's even in Spectra's blog.

Okay, okay. We've been spending

a little time together. So?

So? Are you forgetting that

you already have a boyfriend?

In my village, they have name

for this, Problustravitch.

Not cool!

Do not tell him I said this,

but my brother's a great guy.

And he cares

about you so much.

I know, I know.

And I care about him.

But Val is just so dreamy

and romantic,

and amazing.

Clawd may be smelly and

annoying, but he's not stupid.

He's going to

find out about this.

I'm telling you this

as your best ghoulfriend.

You can't have it

both ways.

You gotta make a choice.

Holy smokes!

I'm Ghoulia's perfect match!

Apparently her

scientific research showed

that you two were

the most compatible.

Dude, now I know why I'm having so

much trouble in Mr. Hack's class.

Science does not

make any sense.

Neither does Mr. Hack.

"Oye, oye. All right,

now see 'ere, children!"

Heath, Ghoulia's a very

nice, sweet, shy ghoul.

She's kind of a fish out of

water when it comes to dating.

We were hoping you could be

a little, um, you know...

Less Heath-y?

Yes!

Yes!

Less Heath-y?

Are you kidding me?

I'm her perfect match.

I'm gonna turn it up

to 451 Heath-grees!

This is gonna be bad.

This is gonna be awesome.

Bad. I mean bad. Yeah,

this is gonna be bad.

Draculaura had a problem.

She was torn

between the two boys.

Oops.

Clawd.

And Valentine.

But in the end,

Draculaura knew the answer.

Oh, Val, that's so sweet!

You know me, darlin'.

My heart is in your hands.

Or vice versa,

if you catch my drift.

Listen, I've really

enjoyed all of this.

All the gifts and attention

and everything.

But it's not real.

What?

I've got something real

with Clawd.

I didn't want to

have to resort to this.

But, I'm gonna have your heart,

darlin', one way or the next.

Draculaura?

You, you, you

Got dumped!

You're really gonna

ride this wave in?

Now, with most

Dead Languages,

in order to conjugate the

verb, we first must...

Oh, no!

Very good, Clawdeen.

But it's pronounced "Ahhno. "

It is the rare Ghost

of Christmas Past tense.

They broke up!

Vampy puts Doggy

outside for good.

Now that it was official...

Clawd was howling in pain.

Hey, over here,

I'm open!

We had to talk to Draculaura.

But we couldn't find her

anywhere, which was way weird.

Any luck, mate?

No. She won't

answer her phone.

And I've texted her,

like, 20 times.

Good thing

my dad pays the bill.

Oh, I am so mad at her. How

could she do this to Clawd?

Love makes

monsters do silly things.

Good call, Ghoulia. Maybe she is

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