Monster House

[After the film's title is shown, an orange leaf is hanging on a tree, it then falls off the tree, and gently drifts onto the sidewalk. Something then goes past the leaves, causing them to blow every which way. A young girl, Eliza, is riding along the sidewalk on her tricycle.]

Eliza:
Hello, fence. Hello, leaves. Hello sky. [she continues riding along and singing until, all of a sudden, she hits a bump] Ow!

[A leaf lands a short distance away then drifts towards her as she peddles in place, still singing, her tricycle stuck in the grass, as the leaf gets stuck on the front wheel, then blows through the wheel. Eliza looks to her right with a look of fear on her face as she gazes at a rather foreboding house, Old Man Nebbercracker's House. The leaf drifts towards the house, landing on the porch and sliding right up to the front door. At that second, the sound of the door unlocking from inside is heard; Eliza’s eyes widen in fear as the doorknob rattles and then the door opens.]

"Stay Away From My House!"

[A pair of blue eyes emerges from the darkness of the doorway, and an old man, Horace Nebbercracker, stomps onto the porch.]

Nebbercracker:
Oh, get off my lawn! [Eliza screams and tries to peddle away, but her tricycle is still stuck as Nebbercracker storms up to her] Trespasser! Do you want to be eaten alive?! 

Eliza:
[fearfully looks up at him and shakes her head] No. 

Nebbercracker:
[points down the street as he screams] Then, get out of here! [Eliza screams, dismounts her tricycle and runs away, then stops and glances back at her tricycle]

Eliza:
My trike. [Nebbercracker promptly picks up the tricycle, rips the front wheel off, and glares at Eliza with a growl; Eliza runs away crying]

Nebbercracker:
Stay away from my house! [he coughs, then begrudgingly turns and carries the dismantled tricycle back to his house]

[As he reaches the porch, he glances behind him at the sound of a camera going off and growls. From the second floor window of the house across the street, a young black-haired boy, DJ Walters, has just observed the confrontation between Nebbercracker and Eliza through his telescope.]

Mrs. Walters:
DJ!

Mr. Walters:
We're gonna be late.

DJ:
Yeah, Mom, I'm coming. I'm coming. October 30th, another tricycle. I'm coming. Mom. Mom, he did it again. He took another tricycle.

Mrs. Walters:
Okay, honey, we've talked about this. You cannot stay up in your room all day, staring at an old man through a telescope.

DJ:
But, Mom, there's something wrong with that house. I'm serious.

Mrs. Walters:
What was that?

DJ:
I'm serious.

Mrs, Walters:
His voice sounds funny.

Mr. Walters:
Someone is hitting puberty. “What's happening to my body?” Right, buddy?

Mrs. Walters:
Maybe you should come with us.

Mr. Walters:
Oh, the boy's too busy. He's got his spying to do.

DJ:
I'm not spying. Well, uh...

Mr. Walters:
“Well, uh...” That's okay, buddy. When I was your age, I did exactly the same thing. Of course, it was with binoculars and involved the lovely Jensen twins.

Neither of which was as lovely as your beautiful mother. Will you be an angel and help me bring out the incisor?

Mrs. Walters:
The incisor.

Mr. Walters:
Hold this.

Mrs. Walters:
Yeah, you don't wanna forget that.

Mrs. Walters:
Elizabeth will be here in a few hours. If anything happens, call the police and hide in your closet.

Mr. Walters:
He knows that.

Mrs. Walters:
See you tomorrow night. [DJ’s best friend Chowder, wearing a Halloween mask and holding a basketball, comes running up behind the car yelling and bumps right into it, causing DJ’s parents to jolt]

Chowder:
[putting his hand on the rear window] I'm okay!

Mrs. Walters:
What have you done?

Mr. Walters:
Just let me drive this thing, will you?

Mrs. Walters:
[as Chowder gets up] Where is DJ? Where's DJ?

Chowder:
[walks around to the driver’s side window] I'm fine.

Mr. Walters:
You would be so happy if he was under the car, wouldn't you?

Chowder:
[as Mr. Walters rolls down his window] Sorry. It’s hard to see with the mask on.

Mr. Walters:
[reaches out and pulls the mask off Chowder’s head] Then why don't you keep it off, Chowder? [throws the mask aside and rolls up his window]

Mrs. Walters:
Why did you put up your window?

DJ:
Chowder.

Mr. Walters:
It’s aerodynamic.

Chowder:
Hi, DJ.

Mr. Walters:
We've got to make time.

Mrs. Walters:
The children. The children.

Mr. Walters:
What children?

Mrs. Walters:
Bye-bye, baby. Tell him you love him, dear.

Mr. Walters:
He knows that.-

Mrs. Walters:
Tell your son you love him.

Mr. Walters:
I don't wanna tell him.

Mrs. Walters:
Just say I love you son.

Mr. Walters:
He knows l love him.

Mrs. Walters:
He's your son.

Mr. Walters:
Why do I have to roll down the window? We're gonna be late!

Mrs. Walters:
We both love you. That includes your dad.

Mr. Walters:
That's right.

Mrs. Walters:
Blow him a kiss.

Mr. Walters:
He's had enough kisses.

Mrs. Walters:
Blow him a kiss.

Mr. Walters:
Bye...

Nebbercracker's Lawn

[DJ yells in frustration that his parents won't take him seriously and lowers his head.]

Chowder:
Aw, cheer up. It's almost Halloween. In one day and three hours it's candy time. Okay? Check it out, l got a new ball.

DJ:
Cool.

Chowder:
Oh, speaking of which, have you decided? Skullzor or Crypt Keeper? [he makes snarling sounds and waves his arms around]

DJ:
[putting his hand on Chowder’s shoulder] Chowder. [Chowder stops his antics] I don't think I'm going trick-or-treating this year.

Chowder:
[in disbelief] What? [DJ throws the ball through the hoop] Come on, you're gonna break a six-year streak.

DJ:
Yeah, six years of being jumped and egged. Maybe I'm getting too grown-up. [throws the ball again; Chowder catches it and makes a face at DJ as he makes a whining noise]

Chowder:
Three seconds on the clock. I'm playing basketball. It’s time for an in-your-face disgrace. [he throws the ball, only it for it to bounce of the hoop and hit him in the face; he cries out and falls to the driveway as the ball bounces away]

DJ:
Are you okay?

Chowder:
My nose is in my brain!

DJ:
Let me see. Oh, my God!

Chowder:
[sitting up] What?

DJ:
You're a dork.

Chowder:
[snorting, then looking around] Where's my ball? [he looks to his right; DJ follows his gaze] Oh, no. [he gasps; the ball has landed on Nebbercracker's lawn, just a few feet away from the house; DJ and Chowder run across the street towards the house, stopping just in front of the curb, looking at the ball; Chowder whimpers in disappointment]

DJ:
[puts his hand on Chowder's shoulder] Sorry, man. [turns to leave]

Chowder:
Wait, wait. DJ. You're a grown up now. You go get it.

DJ:
Chowder, your ball just landed on Nebbercracker's lawn. It doesn't exist anymore.

Chowder:
[glances at the ball, then looks at DJ before tearing up and sniffling] I paid $28 for that ball. I raked 10 yards and asked my mom for a dollar 26 times. I never worked that hard in my life--

DJ:
Shh. Nebbercracker hasn't come out yet.

Chowder:
So?

DJ:
So maybe he's sleeping. All right, I'll do it. [he steps on the lawn]

Chowder:
I'll never forget this. Hurry, though.[Chowder pushes DJ forward of the lawn.]

DJ:
Go.

Nebbercracker:
You.

DJ:
No.

Chowder:
DJ, run! Get the ball and run!

Rate this script:4.7 / 3 votes