Monster House Page #2

You're so close!

Nebbercracker:
What have you done?

Chowder:
Just nudge it over here!

DJ:
I'm so sorry. Oh, I'm so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean--

Nebbercracker:
You are dead!

Chowder:
DJ, come on, come on!

DJ:
Chowder!

Chowder:
Come on, DJ!

DJ:
Help! Chowder!

Chowder:
Help! Help!

Nebbercracker:
You think you can just terrorize my lawn?

DJ:
No, I'm sorry!

Nebbercracker:
You wanna be a dead person?

DJ:
No. I love life!

Nebbercracker:
This place is not a playground for children!

DJ:
Got it from now on!

Nebbercracker:
This is my house! Why can't you respect that?! Why can't you just stay away from--?

The Key

[Inside the house, flames spark up and whoosh to life from within the chimney where smoke rises up as an ambulance siren is heard outside. On the lawn, DJ and Chowder watch as two paramedics strap the unconscious Nebbercracker to a stretcher and wheel him towards the ambulance. The grass strokes his finger as he goes. DJ notices a golden glow coming from the lawn; as Chowder walks away towards the ambulance, DJ approaches a golden key laying in the grass and picks it up. All of a sudden, the stretcher gets stuck; the grass has tangled around one of the wheels. The paramedics struggle to get the stretcher free.]

Paramedic #1:
Push! [they strain with all their might and pull the stretcher free from the grass; the one wheel that got stuck is pulled down into the grass]

Chowder:
[watching as the paramedics load the stretcher with Nebbercracker on it into the ambulance] Whoa. [A shocked DJ looks at Chowder as he stands there smiling and shakes his head. He steps behind the ambulance, looking at Nebbercracker through the back window as the ambulance silently drives away, then looks at Chowder again.] No siren. Never a good sign.

DJ:
[stepping next to Chowder and glancing at Nebbercracker's house, where the shades on the second-floor windows are wide open; the house is seemingly looking at them, as one of the windows starts to crack] I'm a murderer.

Chowder:
No, you're not.

DJ:
I'm not?

Chowder:
When it's an accident, they call it manslaughter.

DJ:
I think I'm gonna throw up. Great. Babysitter's here.

Chowder:
[running off to go home]See you, DJ!

DJ:
Perfect.

Zee:
Hey, DJ, I just saw an ambulance. Did I miss anything interesting? [DJ enters the house as she follows] Hello?

DJ:
Elizabeth... can I talk to you about something?

Zee:
Oh, yeah, of course you can,

cantaloupe. We are gonna have the bestest time. I’ve got tons of neat activities planned.

DJ:
They already left.

Zee:
They did? They're gone?

DJ:
Yes, and I need to talk to you.

Zee:
[taking off her pink jacket]So the usual deal: Indoors by 9, in your room by 11. Lights out, your call.

DJ:
Elizabeth.

Zee:
And it's Zee.

DJ:
“Zee”?

Zee:
Now, listen up. I control the TV, the stereo and the phone. I don't do board games, Shrinky Dinks or tuck-ins. I'm not your mother. I'm not your friend.

DJ:
Don't talk to me like I'm a baby, okay? I am practically a grownup. I don't even need you here, Elizabeth.

Zee:
Gosh, DJ, why'd you break that?

DJ:
But I didn't.

Zee:
Yeah, let me ask you something. Who are they gonna believe? Go to your room.

DJ:
[angrily turns and runs upstairs] Fine!

Dark Shadows

[Zee walks into the living room and puts a tape in the stereo, then turns it on, playing blaring rock music.]

Singer:
You're a brave soldier!

[Zee dances around wildly to the music, then picks up the phone and dials it. Upstairs, a frustrated DJ enters his bedroom; the music is so loud, he can hear it from his room. He closes the door with annoyance, then takes the key he found on Nebbercracker's lawn out of his pocket, examines it, then puts it on the desk. Walking to the window, he looks at Nebbercracker's house for a few seconds, then folds his telescope and puts it aside, then closes the window before pulling the blinds shut. He then picks up his bunny doll and gets into bed. As he falls asleep, the shadow of Nebbercracker's house expands into his room, which turns an orange-reddish color, the second floor window shades open, making them look like yellow eyes, then the front door opens, and the shadowy shape of a fat woman's arm comes out and makes a grabbing movement towards DJ. DJ suddenly wakes up horrified as the phone rings. Grasping his bunny doll, he checks his bedside clock to see that the time is 11:14PM. The phone suddenly rings again; yawning, DJ picks it up and answers it.]

DJ:
[sleepily] Hello? [a spooky growling or groaning sound is heard on the other end] Hello? [he hangs up, but the phone rings again, causing him to jump; now wide awake, he answers it again] Hello? [hears the same spooky sounds again and believes it to be a prank] Yeah. Very funny. [dials star-6-9] See how you like it.

[DJ puts the phone to his ear and hears the phone from the other end ringing on his phone, then he hears the sound of the actual phone. Wondering where it's coming from, he looks out the window at Nebbercracker's house. Realizing he's getting the calls from there, he raises the blinds and opens the window, then looks out at the house with a feeling of dread while the phone continues ringing. As he watches the house, a pair of hands come out from the darkness behind him and grab him by the shoulders; he screams and turns around, coming face-to-face with Zee's boyfriend, Bones, wearing Chowder's mask.]

Bones:
Happy Halloween, doofus! [Zee enters the room and turns on the lights]

Zee:
[as Bones takes the mask off] Nice one, Bones.

Bones:
[points at DJ] Look at his face. [DJ looks at them, trembling] That's so funny. [Zee and Bones laugh]

Zee and Bones

Zee:
[glancing out the window at Nebbercracker’s house as the phone continues ringing] Uh... wow. You called the neighbors. [closes the window] Good for you.

DJ:
I used star-69. He called me.

Zee:
Who called you?

DJ:
Nebbercracker. P.S., he died today.

-You lie.

-Do not.

He died, and now I'm getting phone calls from his house.

A phone call from beyond the grave.

Guys, come on. I'm serious.

Oh, he's serious. Did you know he was serious?

DJ:
Come on, man, give her back.

Bones:
Oh, "her"? You mind?

DJ:
Oh, come on. Gross.

Zee:
Come on, Bones.

Bones:
Wait, hold on, dude. I th-- She's having trouble breathing. Might have something in her throat. All right, I'll look into it.

DJ:
No. Elizabeth. No.

Zee:
Okay, Bones, knock it off. Downstairs, now.

Bones:
Sorry, kid, can't play anymore.

Zee:
You are so funny.

Bones:
I know. It's like I don't even try and it just happens.

DJ:
God, stop doing this. [glances at his telephone]

Chowder:
[playing a video game at his house and eating what looks like potato chips as his phone rings] Oh, yeah? What you gonna do? [turns his attention to the phone and picks up] Homicide.

DJ:
Chowder, where are your parents?

Chowder:
My dad's at the pharmacy, and my mom's at the movies with her personal trainer.

DJ:
All right, meet me at the Danger Zone now.

Chowder:
[as DJ hangs up] Fine.

Zee:
Bones, I said, knock it off.

Bones:
Come on, man.

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