Monster Pies Page #2

How many boyfriends did you have?

I wasn't a tart or anything,

but when I was your age, you know, I used to

have a few people chasing me.

- You know how it is.

- Not really, no.

I'm sure you... there are loads of girls

interested in you.

Look at you! You're so handsome!

You'll see.

You okay in there?

Go to sleep. I'll be back soon.

This is my house. That's my mum's room.

That's me as a baby. Don't look at that!

Hey. Let me guess.

Someone likes cats.

Hey, have you ever played that game,

when you're a kid, with a mirror...

...and you're looking up

at the ceiling...

...and you try and guide your

way through the house?

No.

And this is the kitchen.

- You wanna drink of something?

- What've you got?

We have full Coke, diet Coke,

Hawaiian punch.

- Hawaiian Punch sounds good.

What happened to your hand?

Oh, was just an accident.

- What are you doing?

- Um, just testing the camera.

- You filming me?

- No, it's not on.

What's that red light then?

- Oh, that's the standby light.

- Get lost, you're filming me.

Just keep going, it's good.

I'm not doing anything interesting.

You don't have to do

anything interesting, just...

- Okay, say something.

- I don't know what to say.

Hey, who's that?

It's nobody.

Thanks.

So, you're an only child?

Yep, just me.

- Your mum didn't want any more kids?

- I dunno.

So what does your mum actually do?

She's just a mum. She doesn't

really do anything.

She must have a hobby or something.

- No.

- Hey, are your parents still together?

You know, I'm really sorry, but I've

gotta go. I mean...

...there's some stuff I gotta do, and it

can't really wait.

I'm just gonna head off, alright?

Okay. Um, well, if it really can't wait...

- maybe we can do tomorrow.

- Yeah, yeah, tomorrow sounds good.

- Okay.

- Thanks for the drink.

Yep. Bye.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday dear Mum,

Happy birthday to you.

Love you, Mum.

Hello.

Who was that?

Some douche-bag who likes

to torment me.

I'm so sick of these guys treating me

like this all the time for no reason.

You should stick up for yourself.

Don't be so afraid of them.

I try not to make waves. It's better

that way.

Besides, I don't think I could face up

to them anyway.

Hey listen, I'm sorry about the other day.

You know, leaving early and all that...

It doesn't matter. I don't care.

Well, I still wanna keep working on the

film with you, if you're still cool with it.

Yes, I do. I mean for sure.

That would be great.

Well, when's our project concept due?

Um, next Friday.

Well, I can't do anything on it tonight.

Well, what if I come over

and stay at your house?

Stay at my house?

Gee, yeah, sure. Of course.

Cool! All good then.

Cool. Don't worry. We'll have fun.

I've got heaps of shrinkies we can make, and

I've got like these old movies that

I've taped off TV,

oh, and I can make sandwiches

the next day for school...

It's all good. You don't have

to go to any trouble for me.

I'll catch you later, okay?

See you.

Sandwiches?

Idiot!

Hey Mum, this is my friend Will.

Will, this is my mum, Jacqueline.

Ah, the infamous William.

Nice to finally meet you.

Nice to meet you.

Mike's mentioned you a few times.

You can put your bag down.

I haven't had time to set up

your bed.

That's alright.

What's this?

Oh, it's just an old movie mag I used

to read as a kid.

I always used to like the wolfman, when

I was little.

I was more a Frankenstein freak.

Hey, why don't we just use them in our film?

Yeah, that's a really good idea.

Like a poxy B-grade movie at the drive-in.

- Yeah, I guess so. - I haven't been

to the drive-in in like 3 years!

I haven't been in 17 years!

What, you've never been to the drive-in?

- No.

- Not even when you were a little kid?

- No.

- Wow, man, you have to go.

- It's awesome.

- Yeah, one day.

We have to be pretty quiet,

coz Mum's gone to bed.

Okay.

- So what's the story then?

- Well, do we have to film this?

We'll call it 'making of...'.

Okay. Well, we need two protags

who fall in love.

Well, they're not both monsters until

the wolfman changes at the full moon, right?

So, maybe the wolfman wants to share his

transformation with Frankenstein.

You know, like a way of

getting closer to him.

Yeah, that's good. I like that.

- How's the bed?

- It's fine, thanks.

- I had fun today.

- Me too.

- Do you need an extra blanket?

- Stop fussing, Mike.

I just wanna go to sleep. Okay?

Okay.

- Good night.

- Night.

... and then I've got that white dress

that belonged to my mum.

I dunno. What do you think? Do you

think I'll look super cute?

Oh yeah, yeah. Super cute!

Do you reckon Mike can bring Will with him?

I think he's super spunky!

Do you think you can ask Mike

to ask him?

Yeah, sure. But it's kind of like

a me-and-Mike type thing

so I don't know if he's gonna bring

anyone else.

- Hi Mlke.

- Hey Ursula, sorry...

- I'm really busy right now.

- I've been really busy too.

I've just dropped that movie off that you

recommended, Eraserhead.

It was slightly hard to watch in a sort of

postnatal depression type way.

I'm sure it was.

Have you seen anything new lately?

Um, no. I've been busy with schoolwork.

- Busy with the girls.

- No, with schoolwork.

I've, um, I've actually got these

boxes at home that are really heavy,

and I need a really strong arm to help me

get them to the top of my wardrobe.

Could you, could you come over

and help me maybe, soon?

Um, ask Jeff. Jeff'll help you

out with it.

Okay, alright. Well I hope I see you soon.

Bye.

Hi Mum.

This is Mike. He's the friend from school

that I was telling you about.

- Nice to meet you.

- Have a seat.

This is Mum's favourite thing in the world.

It was a gift from her mum.

Always makes her happy.

She's been here 3 years now. That's why

we moved, you know, to get closer to her.

If you don't mind me asking,

what happened to her?

Suffered a brain injury.

Never really recovered.

There's other people in here with

brain injuries, but... from drinking.

And Mum never drank her whole life.

Let's get out of here.

O, then, dear saint,

let lips do what hands do.

They pray; grant thou,

lest faith turn to despair.

Saints do not move,

though grant for prayers' sake.

Then move not, as my prayers effect I take.

What now?

This is the bit where they

are supposed to kiss.

Well, one on the cheek. That be okay?

Okay.

Thus from my lips,

by yours my sin is purged.

Then take the sin

that my lips have took.

Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!

Give me my sin again.

Can we stop? Can we cut?

There you go.

Sorry, I just forgot the line.

- There you go.

- Yeah.

This looks pretty cool. This backyard's

pretty scary.

- Yeah, I used to think that

there were monsters. - Here?

Yeah. Me and my brother used to make

these monster pies,

full of like mud, and dirt and rocks,

and we'd cook them in the sun, and then

we'd leave them out overnight...

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