Monsters Vs Aliens Page #2

Every room has a door!

There's gotta be a door here!

It's OK, buddy. Don't worry about it.

Who's a handsome bug, huh?

You like it when I rub your tummy?

Please! Somebody!

I don't belong here!

- Let me out!

- Hey, that is not a good idea.

Let me out!

Monsters, get back in your cells.

Oh, thank goodness. A real person.

You are a real person, right?

Not one of those

half-person, half-machine,

you know, whatever

you call those things.

- A cyborg?

- Oh, no! You're a cyborg?!

Madam, I assure you, I am not a cyborg.

The name is General W.R. Monger.

I'm in charge of this facility.

Now, follow me.

It is time for your orientation.

In 1950, it was decided that Jane and

Joe Public could not handle the truth

about monsters, and should focus on more

important things, like paying taxes.

So the government convinced the world

monsters were stuff of myth and legend

and then locked them in this facility.

But I'm not a monster!

I'm just a regular person.

I'm not a danger to anyone or anything.

Don't let her get me!

Sorry.

- How long will I be here?

- Indefinitely.

- Can I contact my parents?

- No.

- Derek?

- Negative.

- Do they know where I am?

- No, and they never will!

This place is an X file,

wrapped in a cover-up

and deep-fried in a paranoid conspiracy.

There will be zero contact

with the outside world.

...seven, eight...

...999...

...1,000.

I can't believe I did ten sets.

Susan!

You wouldn't happen to have

any uranium on you?

I just need a smidge.

Rescind Dr Cockroach's toy box

privileges immediately.

We had the prison psychologist

redecorate your cell.

Try to keep you all calm-like.

But I don't want a poster.

I want a real kitten hanging

from a real tree.

I want to go home.

Come on, little Debbie, please

don't cry. It makes my knees hurt.

Don't think of this as a prison.

Think of it as a hotel you never leave

because it's locked from the outside!

Oh, and one other thing.

The government has changed

your name to Ginormica.

Begin reanimation sequence.

Who dares to wake me?

Quantonium has been located on a

distant planet in the Omega Quadrant.

The Omega Quadrant? Lame.

The trajectory of the

Quantonium meteor

has been traced to sector 72-4,

the planet locally known as Earth.

What a miserable-looking mud ball.

Send a robot probe!

Extract the Quantonium

with extreme prejudice.

I want it all.

Every last drop!

Yes, Gallaxhar.

Nothing can stand in my way now.

Don't rush me, Katie!

I'm just not ready.

Relax, Cuthbert.

It's just like dancing. I'll lead.

Katie, I have a gymnastics

meet tomorrow. So maybe...

Did you open the top?

Thank goodness. It's the police.

- We weren't doing anything, officer!

- Yeah, nothing at all.

Jiminy!

Why did I even let you talk me into

this?! Maybe we should get out of here.

- Or, maybe, we should go check it out.

- Katie, are you nuts?!

Wait! Don't leave me alone!

No! My ankle!

I think it's broken!

Katie?

This is the worst date ever.

Katie, I'm frightened.

It was first spotted at midnight last

night by a couple in romantic embrace.

No one knows what it is

or where it came from.

All branches of the military

were immediately mobilised.

What is that, Henshaw?

OK.

I have just received word that

the president of the United States

has arrived and will

attempt to make first contact.

I must approach it alone.

This is all about

peaceful communication.

Yes, sir, Mr President.

Perimeter stable. Got a bead

on Papa Bear. All clear.

- Let's go!

- Get out of the way!

Set her down now. Here we go!

Commander, do something violent!

You heard the president! Light 'em up!

We're getting pummelled here! Call in

air support! Call in air support!

Call in... Call in a full retreat!

Full retreat! Full retreat, all troops!

- Wheels up. Papa Bear is on the move.

- Wait.

So that's how you want to play it?

Eat lead, alien robot!

- Evidently, they eat lead.

- Get him on the chopper.

I'm brave! I'm a brave president!

Get out of the way!

- Sir! We need to declare a...

- We need to overthrow that robot

- and install our own government!

- Let's sacrifice the elderly to it!

- I say we invade it!

- The Earth only has two weeks left!

If that thing walks into a populated

area there'll be a major catastrophe!

We need our top scientific minds

on this. Get India on the phone!

Can we transport the United States

to a safer planet?

Give this alien a green card and

make him proud to be an American.

It's at dire times like this when I stop

and ask myself, "What would Oprah do"?

Hang it all! What's the point?

It's a disaster.

- Stop! No!

- Don't do it!

That button launches

our nuclear missiles!

Well, which button gets me a latte?

That would be the other one, sir.

- What idiot designed this thing?

- You did, sir.

- Fair enough. Wilson, fire somebody!

- Yes, sir, Mr President.

Listen up. I'm not going

to go down in history

as the president who was in office

when the world came to an end,

so somebody think of something,

and think of it fast!

- That is a good cup ofjoe.

- Mr President?

Not only do I have an idea,

but I have a plan!

Now, conventional weapons

have no effect on this thing,

- and we know nukes ain't an option.

- Sure they are. I just...

- Don't do it! Stop!

- Wait!

I'm not gonna kid you, Mr President.

These are dark times.

The odds are against us. We need a Hail

Mary pass. We need raw power! We need...

...monsters.

Monsters! Of course! It's so simple!

I... I'm not following you.

Over the last 50 years, I have captured

monsters on the rampage,

and locked them up

in a secret prison facility.

So secret that the mere mention

of its name is a federal offence.

Is he referring to Area Fifty...

Mr President,

say hello to Insectosaurus!

Miss Ronson, please.

Nuclear radiation turned him

from a small grub

into a 350-foot-tall

monster that attacked Tokyo.

Here we have the Missing Link.

A 20,000-year-old frozen fish man

who was thawed out by scientists.

He escaped and went on a rampage

in his old watering hole.

This handsome fellow

is Dr Cockroach, PhD,

the most brilliant man in the world.

He invented a scientific machine

that would give humans

the cockroach's ability to survive.

Unfortunately, there was a side effect.

Now, we call this thing B.O.B.

Will someone get her out of here?!

Thank you.

A genetically altered tomato was

combined with a chemically altered

ranch-flavoured dessert topping

at a snack food plant.

The resulting goop

gained consciousness,

and became an

indestructible gelatinous mass.

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