Monsters Wanted Page #3

- [Laughs]

We're gonna have

so much fun later!

- [Screaming]

- Yes, we are!

Oh, it's gonna be

so fun!

That's my wife Ruby

up there.

My daughter sitting

on the steps, that's Kayla.

And my grandson codin.

I've been over

at the asylum for--

this'll be my fourth year,

and all three years

I've been over there,

I've cut somebody

so far.

Aah! Aah!

- [Screams]

- Oh!

- I gave a girl stitches

last year.

When I come out

with my chainsaw,

I'm within 2 feet of ya,

and my chainsaw starts.

You know, it's the element

of surprise,

and then, that chainsaw,

you've got it going,

and that just blows

their minds away.

Get that chainsaw fired up

when he come in there,

and I backed him up

against my chain-link fence.

[Chainsaw buzzing]

He was like,

"oh, please stop!

"I just sh*t in my pants.

It's running down my legs.

Please stop!"

[Laughs]

I love making little kids

cry and scream.

Aah!

- [Crying]

- They say it's bad,

but I love it.

[Screaming]

- [Crying]

- If they fall to the ground,

I get on top of 'em.

Aah!

Right in their face.

I won't let 'em up.

I won't let 'em up.

If they're down,

they're down.

Just the thrill

of being in that control,

and they're running

from you, and--

and you're probably never

gonna see 'em again.

You could just do

whatever you want to 'em.

Bring 'em on, 'cause I'll

give 'em what they paid for.

My grandson,

he's looking at it.

I don't think he's gonna go

this year, so--but he says

he's gonna take my chainsaw over

when I get old.

- What's your name again?

- Codin.

- And what are you gonna be

when you grow up?

- A monster.

- [Groans]

Oh, I give him a scare,

every now and then.

We're sitting there,

watching TV, and I say,

"are you

afraid of the dark?"

[Laughs]

- [Whimpering]

- [Laughs]

Yeah!

[Laughs]

I'm gonna

make you cry now.

[Laughs]

Maybe not.

[Laughs]

- I want to make sure

that the actors are happy.

We can come up

with a general concept for them,

but I also want

to double-check and make sure

that that's something

that they're gonna be

comfortable doing.

If we put her in a role

where she

is an infected zombie

and she can do the whole crazy,

twitchy thing,

I think that that might be

something that she'd enjoy.

'Cause I started

telling people

that I was gonna start

giving them a general idea

of where we're gonna

put them,

so they can start working

on character development,

and we can get

their costumes done.

- Okay.

- I don't even know

when I'm gonna find time

to do that.

- Yep.

- Okay.

- She--she's perfect

in the box as a zombie.

That's perfect.

- Okay. So then I'm just

short the very last guy.

- It's 12:
46 in the morning,

and I have coffee.

- How many cups of coffee

do you have in a day?

- 12.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- And about 128 ounces

of Mountain dew.

- You need to be

involved in this too,

'cause you were

at several of the actors'--

- hi, Matt.

Not much.

How you doing?

- Yeah, get the f*** out.

[Laughter]

- Um, it's a matter

of how many people

get arrested, yeah.

So we ended up officially

sponsoring zombie walk in town,

which we're actually

the country's large--

like, guinness world record

largest zombie walk,

except they haven't

paid the $5,000

to guinness world record

to get the world record.

He calls me yesterday,

he's like,

"hey, we're not gonna be

able to get our permits,"

and I said, "so you're saying

zombie walk can't go on

'cause you can't afford

four more cops?"

I said, "let me call you back

in a little bit."

Made a few phone calls,

got four more cops hired up.

Um, so the zombie walk's

going on this year

because luckily I knew some

people who knew some people

who could get me these cops.

I'm in.

See you then.

Okay, bye.

[Indistinct chatter]

- I wanted to dye myself green

for the second zombie walk,

and, uh, so I got a nurse's

costume, and I ripped it up

and dyed myself

completely green,

and it was quick and cheap,

and I ended up winning

"hot zombie."

So I'm reprising my role,

only less nursey.

- We're on bardstown road

right now,

and it is

the 2011 annual zombie walk.

- Zombie walk started

about six years ago.

Three friends,

they got together,

and they all share

the same birthday,

and then now it's celebrated

August 29th,

8:
29 P.M. every year.

We're selling

some merchandise here.

Selling the official

zombie attack t-shirt.

We've got remote-controlled

zombies right here.

We have energy drinks.

Life-size gummy brains.

They are bubble gum-flavored,

just like the real thing.

You know, everything

a growing zombie needs.

- I just like the Gore.

I've been a Gore fan

for a while.

- Is that eatable?

- I guess.

- It is something

about zombies.

Uh, like, the CDC

has actually said

that the zombie situation is

something that could happen.

There's something

that's like

the overall realisticness

of zombies

that kind of

pulls out everybody.

- Well, the zombie walk

is basically

a night

where all the undead creatures

can feast upon

all of the nice, human flesh,

and in that moment,

we really feel alive.

[Like you by ok zombie]

- [Hisses]

- Walking around,

ignoring the sound

head starts to pound

and it's over

if you want to be

something different than me

maybe you'll see

that it's over

you

- for seven years now,

we've thrown a zombie attack,

which basically looks like

several thousand people

dressed as zombies,

running around,

acting like goofballs.

I printed

on little business cards

just a hand-drawn map

of the highlands

with a little arrow

that pointed, "attack."

And we thought

we'd have five or six people,

and we got about a hundred

that first year,

and it has steadily doubled

every year.

Well, the mayor's office

sent out a press release,

saying they projected

10,000 to 12,000,

which I thought was crazy.

But, looking at it,

I think they're right.

- You want a piece

of me

and I knew that you'd

want me to be

like you

want a piece of me

and I knew that you'd

want me to be

like you

- I love it. It's, like,

the best thing of the year.

I look forward to it

every year.

This and Halloween.

- Zombie attack has gotten

bigger and bigger every year,

uh, with more and more concerns

from the mayor's office

and the city.

And they don't want, really,

this going on anymore,

but they know

they can't say no,

so they--they kind of

drowned us in demands,

and if it wasn't for rich

and his company,

this would not be happening

right now.

10,000 people having

a great time wouldn't be here.

And he does it

because he loves it, you know?

- You want a piece

of me

and I knew that you'd

want me to be

like you

want a piece of me

and I knew that you'd

want me to be

like you

want a piece of me

and I knew...

[Indistinct chatter]

- It's big business.

You know, there are haunted

houses around the country

that will literally do

$1 million, $2 million,

$3 million in 30 days,

and that's their business.

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