Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl

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20th

CENTURY:

FROG:

ARS GRATIA ARTIS

PRESENTS:

STARRING:

(ALPHABETICALLY)

GRAHAM CHAPMAN:

INTERNATIONALLY:

SUPER STARRING:

(ALPHABETICALLY)

JOHN CLEESE:

EXTRA-TERRESTIALLY

CO-SUPER

(ALSO ALPHABETICALLY)

STARRING:

TERRY GILLIAM:

SUPER-INTER-

GALACTICALLY:

(A BIT ALPHABETICALLY)

CO MEGA STARRING

ERIC IDLE:

SUPRA COSMICALLY

INTER-UNIVERSALLY

ULTRA ALPHABETICALLY

HYPER-STARRING

TERRY JONES:

WITH:

MICHAEL PALIN:

AS THE MAN WITH THE

BIGGEST CREDIT:

AND:

SUPER ALPHABETICALLY

CO INTRODUCING:

EXECUTIVE GUEST SUPERSTARS

NEIL INNES & CAROL CLEVELAND

AS THE YOUNG WINSTON CHURCHILLS

IN:

HOLLYWOOD:

MONTY PYTHON:

LIVE AT THE:

HOLLYWOOD BOWL:

Men with bare bottoms:

Sit on my face, and tell me that you love me

I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too.

I love to hear you moralize

When I'm between your thighs

You blow me away

Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you

I'll sit on your face and let my love be truly.

Life can be fine if we're both 69

If we sit on our faces at losses of places and play

'Till we're blown away

Michael Palin:
Hello, good evening and welcome to the Ronald Reagan Memorial Bowl, here in the pretty little L.A. suburb of

Hollywood. Well, we're about to go in all for wrestling, brought to you tonight, ladies and gentlemen, by the makers of Scum,

the world's first ever combined hair oil, foot ointment, and salad dressing. And the makers of Titan, the novelty nuclear

missile! You never know when it'll go off! Surprise your friends, amuse your enemies, start the party with a bang!

Introducing, ladies and gentlemen, tonight, all the way from a mudwrestling tour of the OPEC countries...in the red corner:

Colin "Bomber" Harris!...and, ladies and gentlemen, in the blue corner...all the way from a mudwrestling tour of the OPEC

countries...Colin "Bomber" Harris!

John Cleese:
Well, now, ladies and gentlemen, this is the first time that Colin "Bomber" Harris has met himself. A few

formalities now, any moment we're out, we'll be ready for the start of Round One. There goes the bell! Colin moves to the

middle of the ring there, he's looking for an opening, going for the handhold...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
He's got it! Into the headsqueeze...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
A headsqueeze there...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
A favorite...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
...a favorite move of Colin's ----...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
...flying there...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
...and already Colin is...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
...working on that weak left knee of his!

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
A half nelson...a half nelson and a Philadelphia Hamilton and Colin bit himself on purpose there, and he has been

given a public warning by the referee, and Colin did not like that one little bit!

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
Double overhead nostril...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
...backkick and into the, ah, Boston crayfish, no, it's a crawlfish, or is it a longestine, no, it's a longestine! A

lovely move there! He's caught himself by surprise and this is the first fall to Colin "Bomber" Harris! Swell! A lovely move

there! And Colin must be pretty pleased with himself having put himself up with that one! A strawberry whip, a vanilla

whip, a chocolate whip...there it is, Colin's most famous hold: the one-neck-over-shoulder-Gerry Ford and Colin's in real

trouble! He's just made it to the rope...just a little lucky there...

Colin "Bomber" Harris: Augh!

John Cleese:
...and there it is, a double Eydie Gorm�, should be able to twist...but he does...but he's looking pretty

groggy...and I think he's caught himself ----. Colin "Bomber" Harris has knocked himself out and so he is the winner and he

goes on next week to meet himself in the final!

Anti-rasist singer:

Never be rude to an Arab

An Israeli or Saudi or Jew

Never be rude to an Irishman

No matter what you do

Never pull fun at a n*gger

A Spic or a Wop or a Kraut

And never poke fun at a...[Boom]

Renaissance Choir: [Gregorian Chant]

Servant:
A Michelangelo to see you, your Holiness.

Pope:
Who?

Servant:
Michelangelo, the famous renaissance artist whose best known works include the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and

the celebrated statue of David.

Pope:
Ah. Very well...

Servant:
In 1514 he returned to Florence and de...

Pope:
All right, that's enough, that's enough, they've got it now!

Servant:
Oh.

Michelangelo:
Good evening, your Holiness.

Pope:
Evening, Michelangelo. I want to have a word with you about this painting of yours, "The Last Supper."

Michelangelo:
Oh, yeah?

Pope:
I'm not happy about it.

Michelangelo:
Oh, dear. It took me hours.

Pope:
Not happy at all.

Michelangelo:
Is it the jello you don't like?

Pope:
No.

Michelangelo:
Ah, no, I know, they do have a bit of colour, don't they? Oh, I know, you don't like the kangaroo?

Pope:
What kangaroo?

Michelangelo:
No problem, I'll paint him out.

Pope:
I never saw a kangaroo!

Michelangelo:
Uuh...he's right in the back. I'll paint him out! No sweat, I'll make him into a disciple.

Pope:
Aah.

Michelangelo:
All right?

Pope:
That's the problem.

Michelangelo:
What is?

Pope:
The disciples.

Michelangelo:
Are they too Jewish? I made Judas the most Jewish.

Pope:
No, it's just that there are twenty-eight of them.

Michelangelo:
Oh, well, another one will never matter, I'll make the kangaroo into another one.

Pope:
No, that's not the point.

Michelangelo:
All right. Well, I'll lose the kangaroo. Be honest, I wasn't perfectly happy with it.

Pope:
That's not the point. There are twenty-eight disciples!

Michelangelo:
Too many?

Pope:
Well, of course it's too many!

Michelangelo:
Yeah, I know that, but I wanted to give the impression of a real last supper. You know, not just any old last

supper. Not like a last meal or a final snack. But you know, I wanted to give the impression of a real mother of a blow-out,

you know?

Pope:
There were only twelve disciples at the last supper.

Michelangelo:
Well, maybe some of the others came along afterw...

Pope:
There were only twelve altogether.

Michelangelo:
Well, maybe some of their friends came by, you know?

Pope:
Look! There were just twelve disciples and our Lord at the last supper. The Bible clearly says so.

Michelangelo:
No friends?

Pope:
No friends.

Michelangelo:
Waiters?

Pope:
No.

Michelangelo:
Cabaret?

Pope:
No!

Michelangelo:
You see, I like them, they help to flesh out the scene, I could lose a few, you know I could...

Pope:
Look! There were only twelve disciples at...

Michelangelo:
I've got it! I've got it! We'll call it "The Last But One Supper"!

Pope:
What?

Michelangelo:
Well there must have been one, if there was a last supper there must have been a one before that, so this, is the

"Penultimate Supper"! The Bible doesn't say how many people were there, does it?

Pope:
No, but...

Michelangelo:
Well there you are, then!

Pope:
Look! The last supper is a significant event in the life of our Lord, the penultimate supper was not! Even if they had a

conjurer and a mariachi band. Now, a last supper I commissioned from you, and a last supper I want! With twelve disciples

and one Christ!

Michelangelo:
One?!

Pope:
Yes one! Now will you please tell me what in God's name possessed you to paint this with three Christs in it?

Michelangelo:
It works, mate!

Pope:
Works?

Michelangelo:
Yeah! It looks great! The fat one balances the two skinny ones.

Pope:
There was only one Redeemer!

Michelangelo:
Ah, I know that, we all know that, what about a bit of artistic license?

Pope:
A one Messiah is what I want!

Michelangelo:
I'll tell you what you want, mate! You want a bloody photographer! That's you want. Not a bloody creative

artist to crease you up...

Pope:
I'll tell you what I want! I want a last supper with one Christ, twelve disciples, no kangaroos, no trampoline acts, by

Thursday lunch, or you don't get paid!

Michelangelo:
Bloody fascist!

Pope:
Look! I'm the bloody pope, I am! May not know much about art, but I know what I like!

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