Most Likely to Die

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( dramatic theme music playing )

( birds chirping )

( phone ringing )

Hello.

- Did I wake you?

- No.

- Nobody's there yet, right? I left early.

- Nope.

Can you believe it's been

10 years since graduation?

Oh, I feel so old.

It's gonna be great

seeing everybody though.

This isn't a good idea.

Listen, I know

you don't want people over,

but these are your friends,

your real friends.

Tonight we're gonna

get drunk, reacquainted,

help Simone fill out

her stupid name tags.

And then tomorrow

you and I are gonna be

the best-looking couple

at that reunion.

Whatever you say, Ashley.

Ray, baby, are you okay?

You know I don't give a damn

about that stupid

hockey thing, right?

Stupid hockey thing.

Right.

It just means you won't be

on the road all the time

and we can spend

more time together.

So just sit tight, baby.

I'm gonna take care of you.

I'll be there soon.

I'm fine.

( Horn honks )

Yoo-hoo!

Ray, baby, I've got a surprise.

Look at what you've done

with the family manor.

Your mama must love this.

( humming a tune )

All ready.

I am saving the rest

of the striptease for you.

Well, well...

This is nice.

"Find me"?

Ooh, fun and games.

I like it.

Seriously, Ray,

you're missing out.

Ooh, great minds think alike.

Am I now?

Okay, Ray, I give up.

Now come out and ravage me.

( Object rustles )

I know where you are.

Fisher twins' party,

senior year.

You remembered.

Oh!

Goddamn it, Ray!

This is not how you get laid.

Come out, a**hole.

That's it. Creep.

- ( Door slams )

- ( gasps )

Ray?

Screw you.

I'm out of here.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Come on.

( screams )

Oh, my God. Stop!

( Whimpering )

Oh, God, stop!

Please stop!

( screams )

( dramatic theme playing )

( car engine revving

in distance )

I can't stop thinking of you

Tell me, tell me

Tell me

Do you feel

the way I feel?

Tell...

Okay.

Come on, girl, ante up.

Oh, that's gross.

Okay.

The longest drive ever.

- Welcome back.

- Oh.

- Hi. You scared me.

- Help you with your bag?

Oh, no.

No, I think I got it, thanks.

All right, well, you let me

know if you need any help...

- Okay.

- ...Gabriella.

Do I know you?

Butcher's Red Ale,

Saturday night only.

Poker nights, that's

what you used to drink.

Tarkin.

What are you doing here?

Oh, Ray took me on,

you know, when I lost the store.

He brought me here

to be the caretaker

and look after his place

while he's on the road...

you know, hockey.

Okay, good to know.

Okay, I should go in.

Yeah, all right. Well, let me

know if you need anything.

Got it.

See you around.

All right.

Not if I see you first.

Ray! Ashley!

Is anybody home?

( sighs )

Okay.

Hello?

Wow, impressive.

Oh, my gosh, who would do that?

Oh, my goodness.

That's gross.

( chuckles )

Sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

- You came!

- Oh, my gosh.

- You're here.

- Jade.

I'm so... Stop.

I swear to God

I'm so mad at you

right now. Stop.

Did you find out about Brad?

You knew?

Why is he even coming?

He never even graduated.

Well, the faculty

is presenting him

with an honorary diploma,

you know, due to his

overwhelming success and all.

It's two days.

You'll live.

- One hint of a warning.

- Yeah, and you wouldn't have come.

Damn straight,

I wouldn't have come.

Well, go on then, go.

If you're gonna escape,

now is your chance, 'cause

everyone's gonna be here any minute.

( car horns honking )

Or right now.

It's too late.

You're doomed.

Stop, stop, stop.

( electronic music playing

over speakers )

Man:

A toast to us.

- ( all cheering )

- Cheers.

You'll be proud to know

that the goats

still reign as the best

senior prank ever.

Simone:

That was ridiculous.

The real senior prank was

organized by the cheerleaders.

And it sucked.

They TP'd

the goalpost

on the football field.

Simone:

And the sprinklers came on.

Toilet paper is really hard

to clean, Mike, that's what.

I can attest to that, because the

football team had to clean it.

- Simone:
Thank you.

- But the goats were still way better.

Thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Wait, wait, I thought the

goats were Freddie's idea.

They were, yes,

but numbering three goats

"1, 2 and 4", that was me.

The faculty must have searched

for goat number three

for a week.

The phantom goat.

Ooh!

Simone:
Less goat

talk, more name tags

for the reunion. Who would

like to get this sh*t done?

Yes, ma'am, Miss Most Likely

to Get What She Wants.

All I want right now is just spend

the rest of my life in that hot tub.

Gabriella:
How did I get

wrangled into this?

Jade did not tell me that

there would be hard labor.

- Simone didn't have your number.

- Oh, okay.

Jade:

But Miss Class President says

it's the yearbook

committee's responsibility.

Make fun of me all you want, but

I had to organize this reunion

- from three states away.

- I helped, too.

Yeah, but you're here in town.

It's easier for you.

Okay, who here joined

Yearbook for the credits?

And it looked good

on my college application.

And who joined

for the hot teacher?

Yeah, of course.

Freddie:
So why did you

join Yearbook, Gaby?

'Cause Brad joined Yearbook

for the hot teacher.

( Gasps )

Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

- What?

- Ray has an original.

- DJ:
No way.

- Gaby:
I thought they were all destroyed.

- I know.

Ray must have smuggled one.

We got so much sh*t for that.

I don't know if that's how I'd put it.

Could have been way worse.

That was not my fault. I shouldn't

have gotten into trouble at all.

How do you figure that? They way

I remember it, you did the eyes.

- We were so wasted.

- What's the point of poker night?

It was still

a shitty thing to do.

I just meant that it wasn't

my fault that it got out.

Ray's the tool who slipped

it into the yearbook,

and we all got detention

until graduation.

Detention was awesome.

We bonded.

It was replacing that page in

everyone's yearbook that sucked.

I still have scars on my fingers

from those stupid razors.

Lamont:
I can deal with a

little yearbook carving,

but Ray almost got expelled,

would have kissed that hockey

scholarship bye-bye.

Ray was lucky that sh*t went down

with John, took the heat off him.

You guys, the only

lucky thing that happened

was that nobody got killed.

You're acting like one thing

wasn't directly related

to the other.

You think John had a gun in his

locker because of the yearbook prank?

I definitely think it was the straw

that broke the camel's back.

Jade:

Gaby's right.

We had tortured that kid

since the first grade.

Yeah, Ray and just about everybody

else in the student body.

I'm just saying, you know,

who knows what would have

happened if they didn't find it?

Simone:

Poor John Doe... Dougherty.

God, we never even called

him by his real name.

Whatever happened to John?

After he got expelled,

I think he went to Juvie.

I heard he eventually moved to

San Francisco with his mom.

Come on, guys.

New subject, right?

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