Most Likely to Die Page #2

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All:

Yes, thank you.

- Jade:
Okay?

- Yeah. Sh*t.

Jade:

Did I tell you

that I had to go

through Brad's people

to invite him to this reunion?

His freakin' agent

fielded my calls.

DJ:
He's Brad Campbell,

TV star now.

Freddie:
You mean "Rock

Mannon, Private Eye."

( all laughing )

This isn't a good idea.

You said you'd talk to her.

You promised.

It's not that easy with her.

You could charm it out of

her, if you wanted to.

I would be awfully grateful.

All right.

Come on.

I don't know, it's just the

whole concept of a reunion

seems so archaic now.

I'm not much of a Facebook guy,

but I'm sure you girls know

already who popped out six kids

and turned into a blimp.

Stacey Bevins.

- Okay.

- Told you.

- I know, right?

- Whose is this, guys?

Oh, I know.

Where is Ashley?

She's getting reacquainted

with Ray's hidey-hole.

I guess they're on again.

Uh-uh, I'd say

off again.

You guys, this is just mean. I

don't care who she slept with.

- I'm taking this down.

- Who hasn't she slept with?

- Freddie.

- Oh, my God, Jade.

We're in high school

all over again.

- She's not my type.

- DJ.

I'm too much of a gentleman.

Anyway, Gaby, poor Ashley

just had to pick up the slack

after you became

an ice princess.

That's mean, dick.

Jeez.

Oh.

( All shouting )

What are you doing?

Not the chocolate-covered

raisins!

Stop, stop.

Okay, what's the matter?

Out of ammo?

Well, that's ugly,

no matter who she slept with.

( Engine whirring )

Gaby:
I mean, I

looked like a psycho

in front of, like, the 10th most

beautiful woman in America.

So you're a psycho.

Who cares?

You're our psycho

and we love you.

So this weekend

isn't just Campbell, no.

It's, like, Campbell and a sex kitten.

Did you know?

Please, if I'd known he was bringing

a supermodel, I would have told you.

And I also would have asked him

to bring a few more to share.

- Thanks, your support is really overwhelming.

- You're so welcome.

What are you doing?

- I'm currently a little low on funds.

- No way.

So it occurred to me

that it would a great service

to shoot the class reunion

and make it available for

downloads at a modest price.

Freddie, no one's going to pay

to watch themselves

act like idiots.

Mm-hmm,

but will they pay

to watch their friends

act like idiots?

- Maybe.

- Holy sh*t.

Who knew Freddie was

the class genius?

Just a knack for exploitation.

Now if you'll excuse me,

there are one and a half celebrities in

the hot tub, and that's worth money.

By the way,

sorry about your bracelet.

Did you lose a bracelet?

Sort of, I guess.

It was a poker thing.

I didn't really think

anybody cared.

What are you talking about?

Okay, maybe it's not

quite TV star cache,

but professional

poker player... sexy.

I bet you say that to all the girls,

Miss Most Likely to Slut It Up.

What? Most Likely

to Break Hearts,

thank you very much.

And anyway, it's all talk.

I'm a one-woman

woman now.

- Really?

- Yeah.

When do I get to meet her?

The reunion

tomorrow night, maybe.

Okay, hot tub calls.

You coming?

- No.

- What?

Yeah, I'm not gonna

play a hand I can't win.

Oh, Gaby, your loss.

God.

Brad:
Boom, boom, boom!

Shotgun fire everywhere.

And I'm supposed to get shot in the

chest and fall back into the glass.

And I have these squibs

with fake blood.

Except they go off early,

blood all over the floor. I

slip head first into the glass.

But of course it doesn't break,

knocks me out cold.

That's movie making.

- I'm shooting a movie.

- I did see that.

No, a real one.

I can get you the script.

It's about these four guys

who break out of prison...

Freddie, tomorrow. I'm

taking the day off, okay?

( Yells )

( laughing )

Sorry.

Sorry, guys.

( All chattering )

- Where's Gaby?

- She didn't feel like coming in.

You guys are never gonna guess

- who she ran into this morning.

- Who?

- Tarkin.

- Oh.

- Tarkin?

- Yeah, Tarkin.

- That's a blast from the past.

- I know.

- Who's Tarkin?

- He used to own a liquor store.

Sold a little on the side too.

To underage kids

for twice the price.

He gave me my first

shot of whisky at 13.

What was Tarkin doing here?

He takes care of the place

when Ray isn't here.

Yeah, where is Ray? I mean, he's

not being a very good host.

He's been feeling pretty

down since he got cut.

You know, I should try his cell.

No cell reception.

I already tried.

The landline's dead too.

Jade:
I bet him and Ashley

are down at the beach,

you know.

They're down at the beach,

getting reacquainted.

Freddie:
Swimming?

- Simone:
There's a lot

of caves down there.

- Spelunking.

I'm gonna get another beer.

Anybody want anything?

I would love it

if you could give me

a little shirtless action

in camera.

For your fans, Rock Mannon.

- Jade:
Come on, take it off.

- It never pays me.

- Rock Mannon.

- Come on, Rock.

Bella?

Ugh, stupid.

Need some help?

No, I'm good.

Bella seems sweet, pretty.

Yeah, yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Can I help you with something?

I... I want to be

friends again.

Okay, great. Friends again.

Awesome.

- Whoa, wait, Queenie, I just want to explain.

- Don't call me that.

Okay, I was a jerk. And I don't

know what else to say, okay?

You abandoned me, Campbell.

You are a coward.

I was 17 and terrified.

I mean, come on, Gaby,

I'm trying.

It was really great to see you, Campbell.

It really was.

But there's just isn't

anything left to say,

so you don't need to try, okay?

I'm over it.

It's in the past.

So did you ask her?

I haven't asked her yet.

I'm sure you'll find the nerve.

I'm gonna go change.

( Door opens, closes )

( man breathing heavily )

So what have you been

up to all these years?

You know, married, divorced.

Seriously?

I have a habit

of falling for things

that look good on paper.

How about you?

I teach at Andersonville.

- Our archrivals.

- Yeah.

- How could you?

- They're good kids.

Traitor.

So, not to point out

the obvious,

but you look good,

not the Lamont I remember

in high school.

Yeah, I... I grew up.

Yes, you did.

Look, I lied back then

when I said

I joined Yearbook

for the hot teacher.

Oh.

I joined for you.

- What?

- Totally.

I mean, I had

the hugest crush on you.

- You did not.

- I did. I did.

I just couldn't work up the

nerve enough to tell you.

You know, I do remember,

right after Tommy and I

broke up,

that one day after class

you stayed

and you let me cry my eyes

out on your shoulder.

I so wanted

to kiss you that day.

- I was in tears.

- Yeah, you were gorgeous.

Still are, more so.

So what stopped you?

I mean, you were

the class president.

You would have never gone

for a guy like me.

Yeah, that's probably true.

I'm not gonna lie.

But nothing like 10 years

to level the playing field.

Meet me in

the downstairs bedroom.

DJ:
Should we be letting her play?

She's a ringer.

Um, hell yes.

I want to take some lessons

from the pro.

Lesson one:
Pro mucks her hand.

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